DOSE:

smoked

Methamphetamine

BODY WEIGHT:

89 lb

I'm 18 and have been doing this drug for 2 years now.

I started when I realized my older brother was doing it. The first time I did it I snorted a small line with my best friend. From there it progressed. I started feeling funny around my normal friends. Slowly they all faded away. Even my tweaker best friend quit doing the drug and quit being around me. She wont even talk to me any more. When she does I lie and tell her I am clean. She knows I am not.

Every day I sit in my room thinking of ways to get cash, so I can get dope, so I can smoke it. I use a pipe, but sometimes foil when I cant find a tweaker with a pipe. I have quit 3 times before. Though it never stays. I always end up back. Our house is now a crack house. Every one who comes over does it, and I usually can get free shit from them. My dad lives here too, he is a recovering alcholic, he has no clue about my bro and me. Two of my tweaker friends have been sent to rehab, Four people have been sent to the hospital because of overdoses.

So what do I have to say about all this? Nothing, I cant quit, I want to but I cant. I most likely will die an old lady, with no teeth, and no hair. The minute I got hooked I didnt know any better to quit. I still cant actually tell people I am addicted. It scares me too much to realize that I cry myself to sleep when I cant get high, and when I look in the mirror, I still think I am fat. Even though I cant even fit a size one any more.

Everyone hates me, and I hate myself. I am a loser speed freak. I will always be. It just took me the better part of an hour to remember what day it was. Its Sunday, my dealer gets new shit tomorrow. I know I will be high for a solid 3 days. I am scared when those 3 days are up I am going to kill myself. Most likely not though, This drugs makes me overly dramatic also.

Exp Year: 2000-2002	ExpID: 13497
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Aug 10, 2018	Views: 1,102
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Methamphetamine (37) : Unknown Context (20), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)