Citation: IowaPunker. "Snowed In: An Experience with Cocaine (exp14171)". Erowid.org. Jul 5, 2005. erowid.org/exp/14171
||(powder / crystals)
Being the smart guy I am (I'm no genius, but pretty damn smart), I was always able to keep my drug abuse at a contained level. When I first started smoking pot I became a huge pothead; I had a few problems with leaving bongs and shit laying around where my parents would find them. But after awhile I just got a clue and realized that drugs are not a thing to be taken lightly.
This mentality was totally changed when I tried 'the devil's dandruff' - Cocaine.
Whoo, boy. Where to begin.
I'd snort a fatty rail, get real spun and numbed up but then come down rather quickly. So I'd do more. And more. and more. I'd run out so I'd go buy another gram. The cycle continued. I'd end up spending $500 in four hours and I wouldn't even care. During a coke binge I'd talk so much that my throat would get sore, and I'd smoke so many cigarettes that my lungs would fry and I'd feel like a cancer patient the next day.
The come-down effects of coke really started to bother me. I'd feel depressed, anxious, guilty, apathetic. Basically, I'd feel like I was totally 'not myself.' To ease these effects, of course, I'd just snort another line. My ego would come back for awhile, then I'd feel depressed again.
When the initial coke rush hits, about two to five minutes after snorting, I feel incredible. Like everything is ok. Like all my worries, cares, and troubles don't matter anymore. But then within fifteen minutes the effect fades. NO! I don't want that! I must get back to that point!
The first line always felt incredible, like I could do anything, but after that initial rush wears off, I entered a mode where I must keep snorting to feel normal. I got really fiendish.. At first it was a party, a cool thing to do, but then it turned into a habit.
I never turned to shooting it, thank god, but I did smoke crack a few times. That was cool (at the time) but too short-lived. I stuck to snorting.
Cocaine robbed me of at least $5000 and quality time with my family and friends. I think it robbed me of quality time with family and friends because it made me very antisocial, very moody, and just generally unpleasant to be around. All that mattered to me was getting that gram, laying out lines and spinning myself out all night long. Sometimes I'd go a party and spend half the night in the bathroom, snorting lines off my little pocket-sized mirror.
I started ripping people off so I could support my habit (although I thankfully never fucked over my friends). I remember one time, this kid gave me a hundred and fifty bucks so I could get him an eight-ball. I, in turn, sold him 2.2 grams of 100% pure tylenol. Once he found out I ripped him off, he asked for his money back so I beat the shit out of him and spent his money on an eight ball for myself.
Coke definitely made me somebody I am not. Generally, I am a sociable, cheerful, friendly, fun-loving, crazy-in-a-fun-way kind of guy, but while deep in a coke habit, I was antisocial, moody, depressed, anxious, mean, jumpy, and as mentioned above, just plain unpleasant to be around. Thankfully, after kicking this awful stuff, I gained back the respect and trust of the ones near and dear to me.
Coke is a total waste of time. I've said this before, I'll say it again: stick to beer and cigarettes.
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