Citation: Paulie. "MDMA Long-term Effects: An Experience with MDMA (exp15056)". Erowid.org. Aug 1, 2002. erowid.org/exp/15056
||(pill / tablet)
E was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. I was rolling every few months or so for a few years and enjoying it responsibly, but as I became more connected into the whole scene I came into contact with a dealer where if i bought 50 or 100 pills i could get them for $12-13 apiece, being that I really enjoyed doing E and had many friends I could sell them to, I started purchasing large quantities, believing it was an investment to make a little money and get free pills. I continued to purchase large quantities about once a month for several months and would sell enough of them for $20 a pop to make a little money and get a free head stash. The only problem was it was constantly around and when boredom would set in on a weekend the urge to pop a pill was irresistable.
I was doing it 2-3 pills a time usually once sometimes twice a weekend, and was having a ball. Ever since I took my last pill over a year and a half ago I've been suffering terrible insomnia, confusion, memory problems, difficulty concentrating, depression and just a 'sick-headed' feeling. I can compare it to a terrible e hangover that simply never ends, I noticed towards the end of my time with e, that the hangover affects were more pronounced and would last longer until finally i overdid it and they have never gone away. My body was sending me a message, but I got my lawyer on and was saying well I'll stop taking it after this time, i can do it once more, I'll survive it if I just stop doing it for a few months. I couldn't have been more wrong.
I have been taking remeron, an anti-depressant since then which has mitigated the symptoms slightly, but I fear I am now a permanent 'e-tard'. I feel the worst damage was sustained when i would take e and as I was coming down would sniff some crystal meth to keep my high going. I think that that when my system was depleted of serotonin by e and I ingested a Dopamine releasing agents such as meth, the dopamine in my system was extremely neurotoxic to my serotonin neurons.
I danced with E and wasn't careful. Now I've lost it all. It wasn't worth it.
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