DOSE: T+ 0:00	50 mg	oral	AMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:00	20 mg	oral	AMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:00	4 hits	smoked	Cannabis - Hash
T+ 3:30	30 mg	oral	Pharms - Amitriptyline	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

67 kg

It was a normal friday and I had nothing to do, and decided (after much concideration) to take some small amount of AMT. I've taken this substance serveral times before so I feel that I can handle the effects very well. My experiences with psychedelics have always been good, never had a bad trip because I felt I have control over my feelings and mentality. And during times when I feel bad inside I never take anything, because that could mess things up more. I always ask myself if I feel good inside everytime I take something that will fuck up my brain. I live with a roommate that was out drinking beer at the moment, so I was alone.

It was around 7pm that I measured up 40mg's of AMT with my scale and sat myself in front of my computer and listened to music and talked to some friends over the internet - just doing normal stuff. At around 9pm (t+2.00) i decieded to take some more AMT and smoke
some hits of hasch from my bong. The amount of AMT I took that time was really low, it was around 20mg. I didn't want to take anymore because I've read reports on erowid.org that have gone really bad after they've 'boosted' their trip with 50mg or something like that.

After 4-5 hits from the bong I returned to my business in waiting for the AMT to go into trip-mode. I think it was around 10.00pm (t+3.00) when I walked to the kitchen to get myself something to drink and that is where it all started to go really bad. The effects of the hasch had really come on and I was really confused. The hallucinations were everywhere, but that was not any problem. I felt like there was a really long delay between my mind sending signals to the body to move. If I wanted to move my arms, they moved after 2-3 seconds (atleast that is what i thought). At this moment I didn't know what to think, I almost didn't know my name. I tried to do things that I've read when you have a bad trip.

I sat in my bed with a blanket wrapped around me, trying to repeat my name and my occupation. Just talked to myself. Trying to relax, but I couldn't. The speedy part in AMT was still in effect and it was hard just trying to relax. I recognized my apartment, I knew it was mine, but I was so confused I really couldn't tell where I was. When I stood still for like a second I felt this void in my mind. A feeling I can't really describe, but it felt like I was trapped in time. Like time had frozen. So I had to move, watching movement around me. I turned on the TV, turned on a radiochannel only playing 70's soul/disco and 80's pop (almost happy music all the time). I wanted to turn this trip around, but suddenly
I felt that this was not an option I had.

At around 10.30pm (t+3.30) I decided to get out for a walk. There's a nice island around 200 meters from my apartment, and I like being there. Just watching the boats passing and watching the beautiful sky, getting relaxed. Before I left I took 30mg of Tryptizol - a SSRI with a calming effects - just to cool me down and feel a bit of joy. I get this from my doctor because I could have a neurologic disease which I inherited from my mother. Its calming effects was what I was after, because I've taken it before after my AMT-trips and felt restored to baseline. (No headache and such nasty aftereffects that AMT can bring).

During my walk to the island I had to keep looking to the side of myself because when I moved forward I could suddenly get that feeling that time stood still and I didn't move (even though i did). I had my headphones on me listening to calming music and they were of great help, but at times I had to take them off because the confusing state I was in. Repretive music just helped that void feeling.

People I past during my walk to the island was scary. I was really paranoid when they all looked at me. I felt like I was shouting 'HELLO! I AM THE GUY WHO'S HAVING A BAD TRIP!' and they looked at me really suspicus. But I wasn't saying anything, it was just normal paranoia. I began to get into thoughts about death, about being a neurotic, about not being able to understand. When I got to the island I tried to walk through some bushes standing there, and I didn't know that I was going to wrong way. I tried to go through the bushes until I couldn't move so I decided to take another route. At last I found a place I sometimes sit at, and sat down, trying to relax. But I couldn't. I sat there for 5 minutes and went home.

Back at home I really had to talk to someone, I was so scared even though I knew that I was taking a drug that was psychedelic. It was just that my mind looped and looped different thoughts, like when you think about being dead and nothing and you get a small headache because you can't grasp the feeling how it is. It was now around 11.30pm (+4.30h) and I called a good friend of mine who was still awake and I told him I felt bad, and we just talked about normal stuff which I couldn't understand. I was really spaced out and wondered if I had really lost my mind for real. But it was nice to have someone to talk to, though that when I talked I didn't know what I was talking about. My mouth had gone into some automatic talking mode. I just wanted everything to go back to baseline.

After a while talking to him for a while my roommate comes home and I had to explain for him that I was having a bad trip. He was a bit drunk but understood me in some way and respected that I was feeling bad. My friend on the phone had to go and my roommate took over his role as caretaker. I had to hug him and feel that he existed, because just being close to another person in my current condition was a good feeling. After a while he fell asleep and I went to my bed and laid down to draw some paintings. On the paper I wrote some sentences like, 'I'm confused', 'HELP! HELP! HELP', 'this is a warning, next time -> down', 'i got all the questions, but i get no answers'. But it was really relaxing.

It was now around 12.30pm (t+5.30) and I began to feel a bit better, and it was a very calming feeling, to begin the slide down to baseline. I began to understand things again, could talk to people and understand them. It was aruond then I got the thought that 'I'm a human again, and feel that being normal is one of the best feelings that exist'.

At around 3am (t+8.00) I felt like I had turned the trip around to a better one, so I took myself a shower, smoked some hits from my bong and drank a bottle of cider to calm my nerves.

At 5am (t+10.00) I took some sleeping pills to get to sleep and they got into effect at 7am (t+12.00) and i fell asleep, and slept really good (atleast for 5 hours). During the next day I went to the movies and back home, and slept. And during the night from sunday to monday I felt strange I my head, I couldn't sleep, I had to analyze everything, I began to feel the same feeling I had during the trip (just so afraid to have a flashback). So I took some Tryptizol and managed to sleep again...

It's now 72 hours since I took AMT and I've got around 24 hours of sleep. I have a bit of a headache but nothing serious. I'm still a bit scared that a flashback may occure, though it's not that strong. I feel alot more social than I did before. I can talk to people without my social phobic scare me away. Being normal is quite nice :).

I learned a lesson this weekend, and that is that your mental health is just as important as your physical one. Taking too much of a psychedelic substance can do nasty things with me. I wont take too much, I will be satisfied of what I get when tripping, I will wait for the effects to kick in before taking anything more. I wont think 'oh damn, i'm not feeling anything'. I will wait. I will respect the drug I take. It does powerful things that I can't even imaging. and I WONT.. take it too often.

Taking a trip to the Resturant at the End of The Universe may be fun, but ending up there in the afterlife is not recommended.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 15179
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 30, 2002	Views: 38,492
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Pharms - Amitriptyline (165), Cannabis (1), AMT (7) : Alone (16), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3)