DOSE:	300 mg	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	1.5 Tbsp	oral	GHB	(liquid)
	1.5 joints/cigs	smoked	PCP
	repeated	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

June 1, 2002. I came to the rave on the beach with two ecstasy pills. I haven't done E in 8 months so, I didn't feel guilty about doing it after such a long brake. As soon as I finished spinning and put the last record into my bag, I popped both pills immediately. Everything was great, I had a great trip as usual. In the morning, I ran into a girl, whom I haven't seen in a year and mentioned to her among other things, that I wanted to try angel dust. I've heard of dust's dissociative effects and being a big K lover, I always wanted to experiment with it. The girl told me that she could get it and gave me her phone number. She was with a guy, who had a bottle of GHB. He was sharing it with everybody. I've never done GHB, so I asked him if it was OK to mix it with E and a fuckhead that he is, he said 'Yes'. I drank about 1.5 tablespoon of GHB. It had a very strong chemical salty taste. In about 40 minutes or so I started to feel something. It felt kind of dopy and didn't have any strong 'kick ins'.

Several hours later, I was completely fucked up, meaning that everything was smeared. I smoked some hydroponic weed and felt my ecstasy high come back, but with it I also felt completely wasted, similar to being extremely drunk from vodka. I took another pill, hoping that it would take over the GHB, and it did kind of, but everything was still smeared. I could barely walk or think straight. After I got off the train near my house, I went to a grocery store to get some water. When I was paying at the register, I couldn't figure out which of my coins to use in order to come up with correct amount to pay. The girl at the register just kept smiling, because she had to correct me three times, before I finally gave her correct amount of money. It was a very stupid thing to do - mixing ecstasy with a drug that I knew nothing about. GHB completely spoiled my E trip, but it taught me a valuable lesson: don't ever mix new drugs spontaneously. If you decide to mix different drugs together, be sure to do thorough research on the internet and ask other people about it.

June 5, 2002. I got together with the girl, whom I met at the rave. She was together with her friends, who had angel dust. I bought five bags from them, $10 each. In each bag there were mint leaves dipped in PCP, or so I was told anyway. The substance was black as a coal. When I looked closely, I saw that they indeed were some kind of crushed leaves. Basically, it looked like thoroughly crushed marijuana, only black. It had a verIy strong chemical smell similar to the smell of burned rubber. I have smelled it before at jungle and hard techno raves. One bag was enough to roll a joint. We put two bags together and rolled one big joint and smoked it among 6 people. I was working out at the gym that day, so I felt kind of guilty inhaling this horribly smelling 'fuel' into my clean lungs (I don't smoke cigarettes), but I overcame myself and took several good pulls and held it in my lungs for a second. We kept passing it around, so altogether I took about 6-7 pulls. Within the next 15-20 minutes I started to feel the dissociative effects very similar to Special K, where you see other dimensions opening up for you, lose the concept of time and space and start philosophizing about life and universe. However, I didn't completely fall into the K-hole (or should I say dust-hole?), where you have absolutely nothing to hold on to and can't even remember your name. About 30 minutes later we smoked another joint of same size, just to keep up the effects, which started to fade away. I peaked for about 30 minutes after that and then the high started to fade away again. After about two hours, felt pretty sober. When I came home and went to bed, I tried to fall a sleep, but was unable to do so no matter how hard I tried. I finally fell a sleep in the morning, but only for one hour.

June 7, 2002. When I woke up, I was wide awake and had a lot of energy. I still had two bags of dust left, and I was contemplating on whether I should through it out all together. My reasoning was that the high from it was similar to K, but K felt much cleaner. I concluded that dust was a drug for 'low-lives', since it is cheaper than Special K. I decided to finish it anyway. I got together with my friend on the roof and we smoked one joint. We felt very 'up', but didn't really get the desired effect, so we took the last bag of dust, mixed it with some regular marijuana and some tobacco and rolled another joint. After we smoked that, we started to get very high and very fast. Ten minutes after we smoked it, I was in the deepest 'K-hole' ever. It was extremely intense. I lied down and closed my eyes. Everything was just fucking white and I couldn't focus my mind on anything in particular.

I started to freak out, but just a little bit, and as it always happens in such situations, I wondered if God was out there to help me get my shit together. So I asked: 'Where's God?' And my friend, who was experiencing similar effects, said: 'God is in the heart.' As soon as he said that, I felt tremendous relief, stopped freaking out and continued to enjoy my trip. Slowly I started to come back to reality. The process was taking very long time. One hour after I smoked that joint, I still had double vision and was half way in the 'dust-hole'. I was listening to 'Noisex' and loving it. I had to drive later, so I decided to smoke some marijuana in order to come down (hello?).

I took several nice pulls from the pipe filled with regular pot. In about 10-15 minutes, I first, started to feel the previous 'dust-hole' effects coming back, but suddenly I entered an entirely new state of mind. I got paranoid as never before in my life. I felt as if I went completely, permanently insane. Soon, I felt even more paranoid. By that time, there were other people around me, hanging out. They were just drinking beer and smoking pot. I didn't want to tell them about my problem, because I was afraid that they would overreact. I felt as if everyone around me, and including myself were just a bunch of sick assholes, lacking anything human. I've experimented with many different drugs, but my perception was never distorted in this manner. It felt as if all of my sensual perceptions and my thoughts were going through some kind of machine, which distorted them in a very unique manner, and only after that they got to my conciseness. I was getting more and more paranoid, people around me appeared more and more sickening. I prayed to God to let me off the hook this time and I swore that I would never do dust again. As I was thinking these promises, I could actually hear them echoing with a low pitched sound, like voice of a devil from a horror movie. As soon as I finished making promises, I saw a bottle of beer on the table. I drank some beer and felt that I’m calming down a little and my paranoia went away. I kept drinking beer, also I drank some warm milk, ate a half of roast beef sandwich and came down even more. Two hours passed after I drank the first beer bottle and I felt somewhat normal, but my head was still kind of empty. I got inside my car and barely made it home. I couldn’t sleep for shit. I slept in the morning for about an hour.

June 6, 2002. Again, I woke up feeling energetic. The entire day I felt the after effects from dust. I felt very powerful, both physically and mentally. I also had a feeling of being loved by God in a special way, which made me feel somewhat superior to other people. I smoke some hydroponic that day, hoping that PCP high would come back, but it didn’t. Believe it or not I had a very strong urge to get high on dust again. I realized that it was a lot of fun to be in that sick state of mind. I just got scared because it was new. When I got into the K-hole for the first time several years ago, I also got very scared at first, but later I started to enjoy it.

June 7, 2002. I finally was able to sleep last nigh for about 6 hours. I still felt somewhat unusually energetic. I went for a run in the park, but couldn’t run for more than 15 minutes, because of the acute pain in the right side of the body.

June 8, 2002. Finally, I wasn’t feeling any after effects. I went to the gym and worked out with weights, but felt very weak and had to cut it short.

June 9, 2002. OK I’m completely back to normal for the first time since this madness started at the rave on 06/01/02. I still have a desire to get high on dust, but it’s not so intense now. Desire is purely psychological. Getting high on PCP made me want to learn more about the process of perception. I also need to look at more scientific data that deals with information encoding and decoding in the human brain, so I could better understand my experiences. Distortion of perception is very different from LSD, where you see all kinds of color patterns. It’s hard to explain, but PCP illusions are somewhat more realistic. I’m starting summer session in college next week, so I’m cutting all the drugs, even weed until it’s over. After that I’m willing to experiment with angel dust some more. But now I got a problem, because I swore to God that I won’t do it again. I’m not a religious person, but I believe in God, so now I have to resolve this dilemma somehow.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 15291
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 1, 2005	Views: 34,601
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Cannabis (1), GHB (25), MDMA (3), PCP (113) : Various (28), Difficult Experiences (5), Retrospective / Summary (11)