1st time, 2nd, 3rd..It's Begun...
Citation: Janet. "1st time, 2nd, 3rd..It's Begun...: An Experience with Cocaine (exp15573)". Erowid.org. Jun 25, 2002. erowid.org/exp/15573
||(powder / crystals)
This is just a story of how it starts. Because I, myself, am just starting. Litteraly.
About a month ago, I actualy decided to try coke. Now, for most of my life, I'd been against doing it, and until recently, telling myself I'd stick to pot and acid. Well, around 2 weeks before school ended (mind you, I'm only a senior in H.S) my friend and I decided we were going to go on a coke binge. I'd never done it before, he'd tried it once or twice in college.
We have a mutual friend who buys on a daily basis I'm sure, and a sure fire connection for WHENEVER we needed/wanted it. And so it began.
We bought $50 worth. A small bag filled to the brim with white powder. My stomach was churning from the time we picked it up to the time we arrived at my friend's house (let's call him Nate) and began cutting up the lines. We werent prepared, we used a rolled up dollar bill, but as soon as I'd done my very first line (rather sloppy like, as it was my frist time) I felt a surge of relief, thinking 'that wasnt so bad!'
We walked to a bustop after that, we were on our way to a friend's house, and as we walked, I kept swallowing, and soon I felt the drip. It was new, and I didnt expect it, but right afterwards, I felt the rush. My body became hot and bothered, I was happy, giddy. I paced back and forth waiting for the bus, all the while clenching my teeth and balling my fists. Smiling and telling Nate this was such a great feeling. Before the first line even wore off, I wanted more.
The whole bus ride I couldnt stop smiling. Thinking about getting to my friend's house and running straight to the bathroom to do another line.
They were small doses. Very very small doses, judging by the other stories I've read on this site. But it was wonderful, and right now, as I right this, my stomach is in knots, and my whole body is in shaky anticipation at the recap of all this.
We finished the bag over that night and the next day. We told everyone we werent going to do it again (as everyone we are close with despised the fact that we even touched such a hard drug) for another month. And knowing how addictive it is, I agreed, and was prepared to wait it out. Not wanting to WANT it.
We got another $70 worth the next weekend, to the disappointment of our friends. We went to a show in the city, did lines before we left, and the feelings all came back. The happiness, the gittery, gittyness. Horny and high and happy. That's how it was.
As soon as I started crashing (as this stuff was stronger than the stuff from the week before) I became slightly irritable, craved the next line or two (we'd moved up to a line and a bump, or giant lines, etc.)
Finally we left for the city, and went to our show. We did a line in the bathroom before it started and bumped every half hour or so in the theatre with our heads below the seats. Another line in the bathroom after the show ended, and then we walked all over manhattan until we came to the Brooklyn Bridge. We walked across the bridge. We got back to our friend's house some time after 4- probably closer to 5 am.
Nate and I crashed into our friends bedroom (he slept in the living room) and couldnt move for HOURS. Our bodies were so worn out from all the walking we'd done. I took my sweatshirt off from around my waste when we'd first gotten back, and my size 3 pants were BIG. And they werent when we started. We lay there, Nate on the floor (on a mattress) and me on the bed, unable to move but unable to close my eyes. I stared at the ceiling. Would close my eyes for minutes at a time and every time I opened them again it was lighter out, I was like watching night turn to day frame by frame.
We finished the last of our cocaine the next day in his car, in two big lines.
It's been just under a month since then. And we bought another 50, and we're buying a whole shit load for this weekend (as I vowed not to be sober while attending a show in which both of my ex's are playing the same night at a local venue).
So it started with $50. Then went up to $70. And now the two of us are spending $180 on cocaine. I can't wait. But there's something inside me that knows this isnt the start of something good.
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