Do you know about
It's an Erowid project that does lab drug testing of anonymously
submitted samples & publishes the results online. [See Recent Results]
I Said It Would Never Happen Again
Citation:   Melanie Love. "I Said It Would Never Happen Again: An Experience with Crack (exp16524)". Jan 15, 2019.

  repeated smoked Crack (freebase)
Famous words, 'it'll never happen again'. God , I think that is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. Last time I used crack, I hung myself in my garage & almost died. You think that would be a big enough life lesson for someone right? Not an addict though. We tend to forget how bad things actually get when we get high.

I've been working for a major tv provider for almost 2 years now & things have been great. I got all my debts from my using days paid off, got the respect back from my family & also regained their trust. Then one night the monkey started talking again. Why did I have to listen to that S.O.B.

I had had one of those days where nothing ever goes right. I had been screamed at by customers, my supervisor & there was a confrontation with a co worker. When the day was over I left the building & got into my car. I turned on the radio & what was playing but Eric Clapton 'Cocaine'. That was it my mind was racing faster than a train. I was now on a mission to get high & leave the day behind me.

I made a few phone calls to people I know who use or deal & set up the transaction. I was shaking the entire time. I'm not sure if it was anticipation or fear. I went to the bank & tried to decide how much to pull out because with the way I was feeling I wanted to just leave my mind out of myself for the evening. So I headed for my friendly dealer with 150 bucks. Oh was I dreaming of hitting the pipe & feeling that first bump.

I got my bag & was invited to sit & do a hit before I left. Now the guy I get from usually has people hanging around & crackheads are like leeches when someone has some rock. I do my biz out of sight to prevent the moochers from thinking they are getting any of my shit. I said no & was on my merry little way.

I got home & even before doing the first hit the paranoia set in. I was looking out the windows worrying about who was watching. I finally settled down with my baggie , pipe & torch & blasted off. The first hit is always the best. I went completely numb , feeling the tingling in my head. (my boyfriend calls this 'a bellringer' or 'dinging').

By the time I ran out of crack I was shaking & seating so bad. I looked at the clock & realized I had to be back at work in 2 hours. I can't believe I went back on my word to myself & my family again. I felt like true low life. Like I let everyone down that I know.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 16524
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 15, 2019Views: 1,529
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Crack (82) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Unknown Context (20)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.

Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults