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Realized Uneasiness
Citation:   spliffguru. "Realized Uneasiness: An Experience with Cannabis (exp16877)". Erowid.org. Mar 14, 2019. erowid.org/exp/16877

  repeated smoked Cannabis (plant material)
Earlier in my prime as a pot smoker, there was one night in particular that no matter how much weed I'll smoke, I won't forget.

It was around christmas time and I was at a friends birthday party. A buddy of mine had brought over some mildly potent marijuana, and we proceeded to smoke a decent 3-4 grams of it in the form of joints, while we used an old dragon-shaped pipe for the roaches. I have a somewhat high tolerance to weed, so I experienced nothing more than a respectable high after approximately 10 minutes after inhalation.

We proceeded to chill in my friends basement when we had decided to watch a show called, 'Scariest Places on Earth'. This show which I had seen while not under the influence and was really a joke when it came down to being scary, had happened to trigger some sort of fear. First the fear started out as an idea that there were ghosts watching me at that very moment. I started to become paranoid about the supernatural, fearing I would die soon, to one day haunt the living for all of eternity. I had quickly dismissed it as a stupid idea, and I had decided to strike up a conversation with a friend of mine who had extremely low self esteem. As the conversation proceeded, I found myself analyzing her as a human being, and her lifestyle. Quickly another fear had come over me, this time being the realization that millions of people were dying of starvation in third world countries. The more I thought about it, I realized that the girl I was speaking with was facing similar mental struggles as a starving child would confront. Her parents weren't providing for her, and she was leading a life of unhappiness and emotional and physical abuse. She herself was forced to used heavy drugs for her own escape from reality. The more I thought about it, the more I reflected upon myself. I looked around to realize that many of the people who I was with were in their right state of mind, which made me question why I was doing what I was doing. I started to hate myself and my environment. At that moment another friend had arrived, and I told him that I was having a bad trip. He assured me that it wasn't possible with herb, and that I was only doing it to myself. It slowly but surely subsided, and I enjoyed the rest of my night still thinking in the back of my head that what I was doing was wrong.

Since then I have become much more experienced with marijuana, and continue to use it to this day. That night was my only real encounter with a terrible uneasiness, and even though for an instant weed had turned its back on me, it still remains as a sure method for me to enjoy myself, despite my surroundings.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 16877
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 14, 2019Views: 733
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Cannabis (1) : General (1), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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