Citation: Flow Gnome. "Trapped In A Thought: An Experience with DPT & Nitrous Oxide (exp16909)". Erowid.org. Aug 21, 2002. erowid.org/exp/16909
This report constitutes my second recent trip, and had a few main purposes, besides exploring new spaces:
1) To attempt to take equivalent doses of each substance seperately, in an effort to determine which components were contributed by each substance to wonderful DPT + Ketamine trip I posted a while ago.
2) To mark the 1 year anniversary of my first full (100mg) DPT trip.
3) To just plain have some fun before classes start and I'm in again for 5-6 hours a day with plenty of work.
Set: Excited to compare this experience to the high dose Ketamine experience alone (which will be written up seperately), and the combined experience. Wanted to have a regular old sheer brain blowout before school started to cleanse the mind a bit before I put it to any good use.
Setting: My apartment, alone as usual.
The only random variable was that earlier in the night I had been drinking Midori Splices, which I suppose I'll give the recipe for here, since it is a damn good cocktail... not as good as the Singapore Slings we had been drinking the week before (thanks Fear & Loathing) but a good drink nonetheless.
Pour the following over ice in a tall glass:
1oz Midori Melon Liquer
1oz Malibu Rum
Top with pineapple juice
Float 1/2oz Half & Half or Cream on top
The amounts of Midori & Rum can be varied to make it stronger without affecting the taste much, since these alone aren't going to go very far to actually getting you drunk. I used the mix above.
Anyway, I waited to sober up for a few hours after the drinking earlier in the night with friends, and decided it was time for the DPT to begin at around 3:00AM, which isn't too late for me considering how late I'd been staying up every night. I insufflated 50mg, then waited 10 minutes for the other 50mg to avoid the none-too-pleasant burning in the back of the throat it usually causes. I had intended to take notes during this experience, and I have included what little I had written, but it just wasn't possible.
Note #1 (3:38AM): It begins.
The DPT was just kicking in, and 2 carts of Nitrous were used to catalyze the blur that was to follow. This time, rather than being propelled into the godspace of the combination trip, I was propelled into a thought loop from which I could not escape. I don't remember exactly what started it, nor can I coherently remember any of my thoughts on thought until what I believe to be two hours later, when I snapped out of it for long enough to write. I wanted to write about all the incredible thoughts on thought I was having, but instead came out with this...
Note #2 (5:42AM): Does it end?
At this point I simultaneously identifed that the thought loop was happening and that I was thinking again. I had been trapped in a paradox of my own creation, thinking about the nature of thought itself. The best metaphor I could think of at the time was a vision of an all seeing transdimensional eye accidently turning its sight upon itself, and forgetting how to look anywhere else. This vision was quickly overruled by the constant thoughts of thought.
Looking on it now, it is still hard to describe in any sort of normal terms, but I thought up a metaphor that might halfway describe it. Imagine the thought process as a steady drip of water from a faucet. Normally each drop flows out, is entertained while in mid air, and hits the surface, either dying out or contributing to the next thought. In this trip, the drop still fell from the faucet, but was stopped in midair, along with time itself, and hyperanalyzed by the terrible, machine precision of a thousand combined minds. With the thought frozen, there was nothing left to analyze but the concept of the thought itself. Before any thoughts on thought could be completed, however, they were frozen in midair and subjected to the same perfectly precise analysis, and thus the loop continued.
I was now certain that it had gone on like this during the period that I could not remember, and had a very intense feeling that this was what it was like to be completely insane. There was no emotion about being insane though, no fear, no joy, just pure clockwork thought. I was clearing up slightly now, so I could still get a thought that wasn't about thought in every once and a while before the cycle would start up again, usually when I thought about anything. Surprise surprise. The language I was thinking in at this point was some kind of twisted smear of redneck slang and the kind of nonsense words a kindergartener might make up. No use trying to make sense of them, at least not at that point. I forgot most of those later, too.
In a moment of normal thought, I wrote the last notes...
Note #3 (6:56AM): Apparently not! [the exclamation point was extremely large, and contained some strange crosshatch pattern that I believed would convey some part of this trip later. It didn't. Notes continue]
Descriptions of elves on internet < *fucking less* than actual things, but possibly the most sane sounding way of describing it a;lsdkjfasdfj
The notes turned into impossible to read gibberish at that point, about what I would expect someone in that state of mind to write. I basically thought that I was seeing the self transforming machine elves often mentioned in McKenna's report at this time, or at least a distant cousin of them. This thought pattern was too alien, too insectoid, metallic, precise, to be the same playful elves he referred to. By around 7:30AM the thoughts within thoughts within thoughts were settling down, and I took on a rather annoyed opinion that they hadn't ceased yet. I knew I was approaching the end of this one though, suprised it had even lasted this long. Did some more nitrous around here, but luckily wasn't snapped into the same thought loops, and they actually cleared up from that.
I was left at around 9:30 in the morning, completely sober but unable to really sleep, and with some kind of general feeling that I had just been mentally raped by some kind of superintelligent computerized mind designed by mettalic insects for probing the thoughts of humans. Sometime around 11:00 or so I drifted off, and that was that.
This was completely unlike any other trip I have had on anything, in that my own thoughts seemed foreign, and it was the first time I had ever been trapped in an true loop. It was like the logic centers of my brain were unable to handle the input and just backfired. I can't say I learned a whole heck of a lot from it either, except that perhaps a step-down to 75mg is in order for next time. :-)
Summary of the 3 trips: I know that the DPT contributed the introspection and extreme analytical aspects to the trip, in an amount about equivalent to the level taken in the other trip. In the high dose Ketamine trip, all I managed to discover was that Ketamine is pretty damn confusing in high doses, and couldn't pinpoint how it might have added anything to the DPT trip that would have actually cleared it up, but it did. And the nitrous, well... that serves as the lift off point. Recently some car enthusiasts were over at a friends and I began referring to the balloons I was giving them as 5 shots of N02. More fuel for the rocketship to weirdness I suppose.
I guess some things just can't be properly seperated into their components, thought itself included. ;-)
As a final note, which probably fits in just as well as anything in that report, a friend has just informed me through instant messenger the following about a cow tail, for no apparent reason: 'it has 110 calories and 3 grams of fat.'
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