Citation: Dr Seuss. "We Are Eternal, All This Pain Is an Illusion: An Experience with Cannabis (exp17033)". Erowid.org. Jan 18, 2005. erowid.org/exp/17033
As with all 'mystical trips' the experience I had is rather hard to clothe in language, so I apologize if my word choice sounds strange. The following is an almost word for word copy of what I wrote down in a journal the day after my experience.
Last night was the most intense experience I've had in my life. Me and [my friend] went to the System of a Down concert. And after the show we decided to get high again. Together we smoked one bowl, just as we did before the show. On the drive home it really started to hit me hard. [Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
I started getting really paranoid (which usually happens to me when I'm driving high). I was having chest pains and was really getting worried - a hypochondriac feeling I'm used to. After telling my [my friend] this I dropped her off and drove straight home.
When I got to my bedroom I put on some classical music and I started reading 'A Course in Miracles' (having being interested in its psychological/spiritual teachings), hoping that it would calm me down. But I couldn't focus on what I was reading, my mind was to schizophrenic. So I set the book down and closed my eyes. It wasn't long before I started to see floating objects, covered in 'prism-ish' bands, rotating in my mind's eye. It was strange because I've never had any visuals from marijuana. I also started swaying to the music, and I had the feeling that my neck and head were 'swishing' with my movements.
Once I had started to see the visuals I became excited and the paranoia started to fade. I turned off the light in my room and laid down on my back. And that's when the sensation started to come over me. It began in my pelvic region and felt similar to an orgasm - but more 'internal' and 'warmer'. This suprised me at first so I got up. After pondering what the sensation might be I lay back down, but on my stomach this time. I felt something pulling me into the ground; a feeling similar to that which I've had while near sleep. But unlike before I 'let go', I leaped into the arms of the unknown, and all matter vanished behind me, like confetti in the wind. It felt like I had fallen into an ocean of pure 'spirit'. The orgasmic tingling had filled my entire being. It was a sensation so intense that no words can do it justice. Even though the feeling was extremley intense it still felt incomplete. I felt that someone else needed to be here with me (not in my room but on this level of existence) to make the 'circle' complete.
This reality seemed more real than the physical world, which had faded away like a memory. This level of existence seemed to penetrate the physical world, like water within balloons. It was like an inner spirt that permeated all matter.
After what I can only guess was 20 or 30 minutes, I 'returned' to the physical world. I felt so alive, no evil could harm me. I had seen a whole new world beyond 'evil' and pain. In the afterglow I wrote down the sensations and wisdom of the experience in a notebook. After which I watched Fantasia - which was just beautiful. After the movie I fell asleep. When I awoke the afterglow was gone.
Some of things I wrote in my notebook while still in the afterglow were things such as:
'No short-term memory, for it is meaningless - 'now' is the concern'
'My body is just a shell covering 'spirit'. I let go and my skin melted back behind me, and 'spirit' poured out.'
'All matter is just 'covering' spirt holding it back, keeping it from flowing.'
'The 'middle step' or 'sub-heaven' or 'ocean of spirit' appears as green lines of energy following the contours of spirit.'
'Green vines just help my view. Sight is not important: feeling is.'
'The past does not control the present.'
'everything is One, just shades of the 'new world' body'
'DON'T FORGET! REMEMBER WHAT'S REAL!'
I don't feel that the experience was the cause of the marijuana, but the marijuana merely 'opened the door' for me to experience that level of existence. I wasn't on any other medication or drugs at the time, and I have not ever had any experiences that come close into comparison to this, even on higher doses of better marijuana. I've done mushrooms a couple of times and still those experiences weren't nearly as extreme.
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