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I Was Sickly, and Slowly Losing My Mind
by The White Rabbit
Citation:   The White Rabbit. "I Was Sickly, and Slowly Losing My Mind: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp17697)". Erowid.org. Aug 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/17697



The Psychotic High

I started out using meth because everyone was doing it, and naturally, I didn't have any desire to be left out. I had had many difficulties in high school, and I was not connecting with any real positive people. I found myself hanging out with homeless people and criminals. And that's when my addiction became very apparent (though not to me). Soon I found myself becoming a homeless person chasing a psychotic high.

Before I started using, I was a healthy 122. I was a developing teenager. But once I had started binging, I got as sucked up as 98 pounds. I was sickly, and slowly losing my mind. The funny thing is that, I didn't even realize that I was binging! I have no memory of most of my using
I have no memory of most of my using
(and I have no wish to remember it). I considered myself a habitual user. All day and all night I would hit the pipe. Mostly I would pay for my sacks, but some of the time it would be free.

But now I am paying for all of that 'partying'. I have spent the past three days being very ill. I was passed out for most of the first and second day. And the third I was nauseous, but extremely hungry. Not to mention that there is a rash all (and I mean all) over my body. But I'm proud to be clean, even though I feel like I have just been ripped away from my best friend (literally). And I am angry at myself and most anybody around me.

So take my advice, and don't try it! Unless you want to be the one curled up in bed trying not to puke while you itch your funky rash.

[Reported Dose: "1/2 teener a day"]

Exp Year: 1998ExpID: 17697
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Aug 9, 2018Views: 1,662
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Methamphetamine (37) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Health Problems (27), Hangover / Days After (46), Addiction & Habituation (10), Unknown Context (20)

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