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Waves and Holes
Ketamine
Citation:   Big Red. "Waves and Holes: An Experience with Ketamine (exp18061)". Erowid.org. Nov 30, 2007. erowid.org/exp/18061

 
DOSE:
100 mg IM Ketamine (liquid)
BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb
I tried Ketamine for the first time recently, and was caught off-guard by the power of the drug. My experience fluctuated from euphoric to extremely unpleasant, mostly due to nausea. I don't know if I will use the drug again, but if I do, it will certainly be with a much lower dose. Here is a description of my experience.

I set the scene carefully. Next to a bathtub of hot water I placed the drugs, a note to my roommates explaining what I'd done (including time, dosage, expected effects), a CD player turning an hour long disc of pleasant folk music, and a cell phone so I could dial 911 if needed. This last item shows my naivety; in the state I achieved even pressing 'call' would have been impossible. I injected myself in the leg, as I am a professional kayaker and wanted to spare my shoulder. The injection was slow (30s), and not too painful.

****Foolishly, I didn't pull back on the syringe after inserting to see if blood flowed freely into the syringe. If blood came freely, it would indicate hitting a blood vessel. I have no idea what the effects of IV injection is, but imagine it could be severe.****

Within 2 minutes I noticed an effect, and by 5 minutes I couldn't remember if, when, how, or by whom I had been injected. This was a little unsettling, as I had tried hard to control the setting of my experience, but I knew I simply had to flow with the changes in mind state and not allow anything to disturb me. As soon as I came to this realization I felt as though a wave had physically picked me up from behind, causing me to slide forward into a 'hole'. In kayaking, one can surf on a wave and have a controlled, exploratory experience. It is easy to slip off a wave, and perhaps land in a hole - a part of the river where the water tumbles over itself like a commercial washing machine. Holes are fun for expert kayakers, but even they can get trapped under the churning water, spun around and around, and hopefully get spit out before they drown. This, fortunately, is what happened to me. Ketamine users refer to K-waves and K-holes, so I find this analogy to kayaking both useful and appropriate.

The sensation of sliding down a wave and into a hole was both physical and visual. I could actually feel gravity pulling me down, and then I could feel the spinning water thrashing my limbs. Visually, I observed from above as my body gathered itself together, coalescing like mercury into a small pink teardrop that was at the middle of the churning ball of fluid. At this point I felt that my life, job, relationships, etc., were but trivial parts of a trivial dream that had no importance. The only real world was the K-hole I was in. I felt that I had returning to an embryonic state in god's womb, and that its was god itself that was spinning me about. This reassured me greatly, and I enjoyed the ride for a while. I even laughed.

Eventually, I was spit out of the hole. When I surfaced, I physically gasped for air, though I had not actually been under water, and of course had been breathing all along. I gradually became aware that I was a human, which was both a relief and a let down. my pink teardrop slowly grew limbs, which seemed grotesque cadaverous. It seemed I had been in the hole for an eternity, died and been reborn, and that the music, which sounded at times like electrical throbbing, had divine power. As the music changed, I would go from nauseously bobbing on the surface to being sucked back into the hole. As I wanted my experience to end, I became fearful of the music's power.

About the time that I recognized that I was in a bathtub, I became extremely nauseated and puked like I've never puked before over the edge of the tub. This was followed by painful dry-heaves. Any motion or thought exacerbated the situation. After five minutes or so I had recovered enough to stumble to the kitchen, puke in the kitchen sink, find a trash bag, and scoop up the vomit in the bathroom with a dust pan. I even sponged the floor with bleach water. I forced myself to stay conscious until my roommate came home, and then fell into a long deep sleep on my bed. The music was still playing, which indicates the whole experience took less than an hour. In the morning I was fine, happy to be alive, and enjoyed a full day of kayaking.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 18061
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 30, 2007Views: 9,069
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Ketamine (31) : First Times (2), General (1), Alone (16)

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