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No Way Out
Methamphetamine
by Stardust
Citation:   Stardust. "No Way Out: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp18223)". Erowid.org. Oct 16, 2002. erowid.org/exp/18223

 
DOSE:
  IV Methamphetamine

BODY WEIGHT: 190 lb


I began using meth to lose weight. At that time I found that it also suppressed alot of unwanted feelings. So I continued using, thinking this was a good thing. I began doing 'lines' but 'lines' turned into 'hits', this I now know was the beginning of the end.

In 1996 I ended up getting popped for numerous possession charges and a delivery of a controlled substance beef. I ended up doing 2 years in prison. I was released in 1998, got a real job, got my 2 children back from my parents, got my own place and was finally back on track. Then in 2000 I happened to run into an old using buddy, talked of old times and thinking I could actually control my use this time I started up once again. I didn't start with a 'puff' or a 'line' I started out directly with the 'needle'. After that first 'hit' I was once again hooked. I couldn't quit, I had no control. For the first few months I did a great job at fooling myself into thinking I had all control. I lost my job of 3 years, my home I worked so hard for and my children went to live with friends and relatives. I was a complete mess. I began living with my so called drug friends here and there. I lost all ambition to do anything at all, but I needed money so I could get the drugs I needed to keep me going. I started running check scams, credit card scams and fraudulant bank accounts for transfering funds.

My family wont talk to me and my kids I would avoid, due to my shame. I reached my bottom and had absolutely no idea what to do about it. Two months ago I decided I needed help so I checked myself into treatment. While waiting for a bed date I was sleeping in my car. Then I was notified that charges against me were being filed, 4 unlawful issuance of a bank check, 2 forgeries, 2nd degree theft and identity theft. With 6 prior felonies, these new charges will put me away for a long time. I'm 2 months into treatment awaiting trial. I'm learning many new things, many new ways to deal with stressful situations. I know I must stay positive and keep an open mind. My addiction got the best of me in a horrible way. I can only share my experiance with others in hopes that you will think twice before you 'think you can handle it'.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 18223
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 16, 2002Views: 7,193
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Methamphetamine (37) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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