DOSE:

2 tablets

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

It was one Magical Night. A night that would change the course of my life forever. It was my first time using the much celebrated and maligned drug Ecstasy. The Year was 1999 (3 years ago). I was 17 years old and prior to this time I had only experimented with alcohol and marijuana in small amounts. I was a three-sport athlete in high school and putting drugs in my body was not an option. However at the end of my junior year everything fell to pieces. I failed two subjects and was forced to leave the private school I was attending. I grew depressed because everything would change now. No more athletics, a new public school in the fall, and an overwhelming feeling that everything I had done in my life up to this time was pointless and that I really wasn’t happy with what I had been doing. When I looked in the mirror I saw an extremely shy guy who hid behind sports his whole life and never really made an attempt to better himself ‘inside’. A time had come for change.

A week after my junior year had ended, my one and only best friend (we’ll call him M), had noticed how depressed I was and said, ‘You need to try something different, man.’ His timing was impeccable because I knew I needed help. He said a couple of his friends from school (who were ravers)Asked him to attend a rave with them. he thought it would be a good idea if I came along as well since it would be his first rave as well as mine, plus I needed a good night out. Now obviously I had never been to a rave b4 and had no idea what to expect. I heard that sometimes people take Ecstasy at these things but I had no idea what ecstasy was or even what it looked like. I knew it got you high but I figured it be like a marijuana high or being drunk. M had done half a pill of E before and said it was amazing and that if we go to this rave I should try it. I said, ‘whatever,’ brushing it off like he was asking me to smoke weed or something, no big deal.

The Day of the party comes and I’m pretty scared because I’m going out and I’m gonna be meet a lot people I don’t know. I met up with M and his friends from school and got introduced to what I guess you could call ‘rave’ culture. For kicks the ravers I met that day with M dressed me up in big wide leg pants colourful soccer jersey, gave me colorful bracelets to wear and put a pacifier around my neck (I felt ridiculous, being that I was just a t-shirt & jeans guy). I was willing to try something new though so I pressed on. At around 8:00pm we got on a train and trekked to the party. We were in front of the venue by 9:00 pm and greeted by a happy raver decked out in bright yellow pants w/ a Pokemon shirt. He was friends with M. He was a nice kid but I couldn’t understand why he would dress this way. (I’d find out later.)

By 9:45 we were inside the venue. I followed M and his friends around for a good hour feeling pretty out of place even though the kids there were wearing crazier clothes then I was. The music was really loud and I couldn’t enjoy it coz I didn’t know how to dance to it (it all just sounded the same) M’s raver friends tried to teach me to dance but it didn’t work. I was having a tuff time opening my self to all these new people and new sounds I was hearing. By 11:00 M asked me if wanted to do ecstasy with him. I said, ‘Sure whatever man,’ not expecting it to make my night any better. I thought since I had smoked weed before and drank that this would be no different. He brought me to his friend R who handed me a small white pill with a stamp of Tom and Jerry (cat and mouse cartoon) on it. Without hesitation we each dropped one pill at 11:30 sharp. R gave me a hug and said, ‘You’re in for a wild ride.’ With that we ventured into the main room.

Over the next half hour I observed kids giving each other massages, dancing with passion, and sitting in circles on the floor. I didn’t understand why though? At about 11:55 R told me to sit in a circle with some of his friends and hold their hands while he went to go get water. He said, ‘Just sit here and chill with them.’ Feeling pretty stupid I sat in the circle and held hands with two girls I never met before in my life and pondered why I decided to even go to this party. I felt I didn’t belong here and wanted to go home. Bored out of my mind, I decided to check out the ceiling of this massive venue. They had lights in the ceiling that looked like stars against the night sky. The stars began to blur and a great weight fell on my head. My chin sank into my chest. What the hell was happening? An intense rush of positive energy then began to rush through my body. Any anxiety I felt was gone. The two girls I was sitting with noticed this change in me and began massaging my hands. It made every inch of my body tingle. My eyes had been closed up to this point so I decided to open them. And to my surprise everything around me had changed and taken on a whole different form.

The lights and colors were brighter, the sounds booming from the speakers were sooooo intense and earth pounding. I thought how could this be happening, did that little white pill do this or was I dreaming? At that very moment R came back with the water and began thanking me for staying with his friends. I interrupted his sentence by grabbing his hand and looking into his eyes. Automatically he knew my pill had hit me! I was speechless but the elaborate smile on my face said it all. R picked me up from the floor and gave me my first E hug and a kiss on the cheek!!! It was the most incredible thing I ever felt in my life and I didn’t want it to end. I had only met him once or twice before yet we embraced for a good two minutes. It was exactly Midnight when my pill hit me (crazy). A few minutes later M found us and he greeted me with the same elaborate smile I had, his pill had hit him to!

At this point everyone we came to the party with was rolling. Full of positive energy and love we decided to make some rounds and walked around the venue. I was introduced to soooo many new people and instead of just saying ‘wussup’ like I normally would do with strangers and leave it at that, I greeted them with a hug and talked to them with a general interest in who they were and how long they’ve been partying. We then decided it was time to dance! R showed me a few steps and I took it and ran, using my imagination and creating my own steps without inhibitions or caring who was watching me. It was the most fun I ever had dancing in my life and it was all OKAY! Any fences or walls I had been hiding behind had been destroyed! I was footloose and fancy free. It was truly magical. I took part in all the activities everyone was taking part in. I got in a massage line with like ten people sitting on the floor, soooo amazing giving a massage while getting one from someone behind you! I fed off of everyone’s energy and they fed off of mine. I then had a realization! Everyone has this positive energy inside them. They just have to let it out. This party was one big ball of positive energy that everyone was feeding off of! I also realized that the elaborate clothes these people wore were just extensions and expressions of their beautiful inner being. That’s why the kid I met in front of the venue was dressed in bright colors. He was expressing his beautiful energy and inner self!

By 2:00 am, me and my newly acquired friends decided to take a rest from dancing, drink some water, and talk in the chill out area. They also introduced me to Vick’s! A little Vick’s Vapo-rub under your nose and eyes is pure Bliss! Then someone broke out a Vick’s inhaler and blew its mist all over my face and eyes (orgasmic is the only word). I then shared details of my life with people that I usually wouldn’t have shared but this was the right place and right time! I had an amazing E talk with this girl L I had met that night. She was from Russia and had an accent. We amazingly had a lot in common and had no problem communicating. I couldn’t believe how clear my head was! I get pretty slow on marijuana and alcohol but on E everything is crystal clear. It’s like magic!

By 3:00 I felt my roll start to slip a little bit, so were the rolls of M and R. they asked if I wanted to take another pill with them and I graciously accepted. In retrospect I should’ve stayed with the one since it was my first time but R and M said it was okay and I trusted them since they had done it a few times before. R left and came back with 3 ‘Mercedes’. A half hour after I took the second pill I began to roll way harder than before. This pill was different, definitely much stronger then the first. It just about doubled all the sensations and feelings I had before. More Love, more Joy, more confidence in myself then ever before. Me and my friends got separated somehow and I was by myself which usually would be a bad thing. But I took the opportunity to meet and talk to new people and make friends on my own.

I saw an incredibly cute girl dancing by herself and decided it would be a good idea to say high, give her some candy (M said it was a sign of peace and love to give candy to another raver) and a hug. I literally ‘floated’ over to her on a cloud of positive energy, held out a roll of sweet tarts and said, ‘Having a good time?’ She nodded and smiled in approval. We chit chatted, exchanged names, and danced together for a good while. She asked me if I was rolling and I gave her an emphatic ‘Oh Yeah!!’ She said, ‘Same here, can I hug you?’ Without hesitation we embraced. She fit perfectly into me and we melted together. We began massaging each other in rhythm to the music. All of a sudden our eyes locked together and we became one. Our thoughts were interlocked. Our faces were drawn together like magnets and we kissed for what seemed like forever. The most beautiful, passionate kiss of my life up to that point. We drifted away together into what seemed like a Wonderland. When we came back to the party (reality, I guess) We were awestruck at how easily we read each others thoughts in such a short time. (This wasn’t a fluke by the way, this was fate, this girl has been one of my best friends for three years now.) Me and her never kissed again but I think it’s better that way. It was definitely a good ‘moment’ and we felt it best not to ruin it.

It’s about 5:00 am now and the party is winding down, however having taken that second pill my roll is still going strong. I found all my friends at this point and introduced them to my new special friend that I shared a very exhilarating experience with. For the last hour of the party we danced, shared love, more positive energy and reflected on the monumental night on an almost empty dance floor.

What a Magical night this had been. I was coming down off my pills but still felt very good. As we filed out of the venue it took me about 45 minutes to an hour to say goodbye to all the new friends I had made. The night started out as a bust and turned into a life changing event thanks to a little white pill called ecstasy. I can honestly say that before that night, M was my only real friend. After One Magical night I had many, many new friends. I had goo gobs of phone numbers and e-mail addresses scribbled on flyers in my pockets. I called and e-mailed every one of them and am very happy to say that even three years later I still talk to these people.

I felt I had a new lease on life, my inhibitions were erased, I was no longer shy or reserved, I looked forward to going to a new school in the Fall, I had made bonds with people that can never be broken. Over the next three years I attended many, many, many more raves, did ecstasy at some of them and went sober at others (discovering that it’s the music and people that make a party great, NOT THE DRUGS), made a crap load of new friends, made trips to other states to see friends and to attend out of state parties (something I would of never dreamed of doing before), I’ve taken a great passion in the music I’ve heard at these parties as well, I began collecting records over the years and have become a pretty good DJ spinning at small parties (yes I went from a jock in high school to a DJ).

Most importantly I met the love of my life at a rave while I was on ecstasy. She’s the light of my life and we’ve been going together strong over almost three years now. If it hadn’t been for ecstasy I don’t know where I’d be right now. It was the Ultimate therapy for me. I don’t believe I abused it, but did take it about twice a month for two years. This last year I’ve done it maybe two or three times and haven’t been going to parties unless they are small or if I’m spinning. I’m in college now and I have a great job that I love so priorities have kind of set in. You can’t party forever. I’ll always have my memories of all the great things that happened in my life thanks to ecstasy, hell they are still happening now, I’m a genuinely happy person now and I don’t need the ecstasy to tell me that. All it did was open my eyes to a better way of living my life. I can’t say ecstasy would work for anyone searching for a better out look on life, but it worked for me. The love and energy I felt on that ONE MAGICAL NIGHT, still flows threw my body today. Ecstasy or not I’ve become a better person and I’m thankful for it :)

Exp Year: 1999	ExpID: 18884
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 11, 2005	Views: 6,836
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MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Rave / Dance Event (18)