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Complete Confusion and Paranoia
DXM (sold as Ecstasy)
by Bunny
Citation:   Bunny. "Complete Confusion and Paranoia: An Experience with DXM (sold as Ecstasy) (exp1902)". Erowid.org. Jun 19, 2000. erowid.org/exp/1902

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral DXM (pill / tablet)
  0.5 tablets oral MDMA (pill / tablet)


I didn't find out the E me and my friend had taken was 99% DXM until after the fact. My friends and I decided to drop at a well known rave club. While most of my friends had dropped another kind of E, me, another girl, and my ex decided to take the pills w/ DXM (called 5th generation green triangles, im pretty sure). We had no idea there was any DXM in them, much less what DXM was. Within the hour, my ex was vomiting heavily and claimed he was dizzy and completely disoriented. At one point he kept saying he wanted to die. Friends took him home soon after. My friend and I still didnt feel the effects, so we took another half tab of E. Within another hour, I began to feel very strange. I knew what I was feeling wasn't E. While my other friends were feeling happy and dancey (the 'huggy' effects of E), I felt distant from them, disoriented, and a bit warped. Not knowing yet what I was about to experience, I went to the bathroom alone. Big mistake. After 5-10 minutes I had completely lost it.

I dont remember much, but what I do remember is constantly stumbling and running into people. I felt more than drunk, I felt almost retarded, disassociated from my surroundings and even my body. I definitely could not see straight, people and objects seemed hazy, with a swirly effect to them, and it seemed everyone was staring at me. They probably were because I was stumbling so much people were constantly asking me if I was 'alright' or helping me up. I tried desperately to find my friends but I had absolutely no idea where I was walking and where I had left them. I later realized I had been walking in complete circles and had even walked into speakers. I was a bit scared but more freaked out b/c I had no idea what I had taken and why I was feeling the way I was. I took no heed to the trance music playing and felt absolutely no urge to dance. In fact, I knew if I tried to dance I couldnt do it, I felt almost lethargic and too lazy to even lift up an arm. I finally made it out of the club into the outside area, where it was more lit. While my vision seemed a bit better, I found it still intensely hard to focus on anything, my eyes were constantly wandering. At some points I'd forget who I was looking for and just stumble about in a 'drunken' stupor.

Finally one of my friend's boyfriend found me and asked if I was ok after looking into my eyes. I tried desperately to describe to him the effects this 'E' had on me but my sentences were jarred, not very comprehensible. He knew I was totally confused so we sat down, and I asked him to hold me. I felt much more comfortable being w/ someone I knew, but for the 40 or so minutes I hung out w/ him several people we both knew would come over and 'hang' w/ us, which I found strangely annoying (I'm usually a very friendly, outgoing and upbeat person, on E or otherwise). I was slightly paranoid and didnt feel like meeting any of his friends. During this time we both opened up to each other about our past relationships (my ex, and his current gf, who is my good friend). I dont know if it was b/c he was holding me, or b/c we were relating so well...but I got the strange feeling that he had a slight crush on me. Although I had always thought him very good looking and sweet, I did not like this feeling b/c I didnt want to betray my friend, regardless of my drugged state. Feelings of guilt and paranoia swept over me...suddenly my friends appeared! With tears in my eyes I embraced all 4 of them and kept interrogating them where they had been. I felt a surge of warmth, rejuvenation, and happiness at this 'reunion,' I dont think I had ever been so happy to see them. They were still on E and feeling the lovely effects, but I knew the only person who'd understand was my other friend who'd taken the DXM'ed E as well. When I looked into her fucked up eyes I knew she was feeling the same way I was. 'Something's wrong with this E, I'm so fucked up, I don't know what's going on,' I listened to her ramble on and on, agreeing w/ her every word.

We headed back into the club where her and I stumbled about; our friends had to help us walk. Our other friends then began dancing in one area but her and I stood there, quite stupidly, actually. I wanted to dance so badly but there was no way in hell I could even lift up a leg. We finally sat down on the ground, too confused and lazy to dance or even stand up. While our other friends danced up a storm in front of us, her and I sat with our eyes closed, every once in a while opening them. We felt almost sleepy, and extremely slow. Our friends tried to get us to dance but we could hardly lift up a finger. Everything looked strange to her as well, reality was bent and people looked odd. She too admitted strong feelings of paranoia and people 'staring' at her. We moved to a dark corner of the club where we were 'sure' no one was 'looking' at us. We never even felt the 1/2 tab of E, probably b/c of the DXM's overwhelming effects. Once home, we smoked out to hopefully elevate our trips...but my friend instantly puked and passed out with a miserable frown on her face. In contrast I felt better, possibly b/c I felt more comfortable w/ my surroundings (my friends in my apartment) and didnt have as weak a stomach as my friend. I didnt feel 'drunk' anymore but the visual effects were stimulating and intense due to the combo of weed and DXM. At one point I remarked my best friend looked like a 'mountain,' (admidst other stupid things I said which made absolutely no sense), to which we laughed hysterically. I fixated upon her smiley face, then realized the cartoony-looking Kern's Juice carton on the table in front of me was floating in the air. Everything had a strange appearance to it, a crisper, even 'cartoonish' slant to it, as opposed to the hazy, swirly fog images I was seeing earlier at the club. I knew it was b/c of the weed and enjoyed every minute of it.

The next day me and my friend vowed never to drop E again...of course this changed but I found it terrible we had expected to drop a good dosage of ecstasy and got DXM instead. I never found out it was DXM I'd taken until a couple weeks later, when people found out these particular E's were made entirely out of DXM. I think if I'd known I was going to take the drug I would have been better prepared for it and possibly enjoyed it. The disassociative effects of DXM differ greatly from the loveydovey effects of E.

Exp Year: 1999ExpID: 1902
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 19, 2000Views: 13,325
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MDMA (3), DXM (22) : What Was in That? (26), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Club / Bar (25)

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