Citation: AWOL. "No Longer a Virgin: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp2037)". Erowid.org. Jun 22, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2037
||(pill / tablet)
Perhaps it is the area I live in, or perhaps its because I am not a member of the raver subculture, but I had never tried MDMA before yesterday. A friend came back from California with these tiny little pills (mitsubishi double stack)and gave me one. Not being the one to rush head first into anything, I waited no less than six months before taking this little pill. I am a strong believer in doing research into the chemicals I use. I feel it helps me make a smart decision and also helps to quantify my experience. After I had read the good reports and the bad ones, and after I reassured myself that I didn't have a pre-existing heart condition, I took the MDMA in the early morning hours. I chose to roll in my home because truth be told, even after all the reading I did I still did not know what to expect. Having done LSD a great deal, I was expecting an almost LSD like experience. Looking back, I was in for a bit of surprise.
Within the first half hour I noticed that I was very sensitive to temperature. My home is a rather drafty place anyway, so I was acutely aware of the cold. After changing clothes, I got under the covers of my bed, and put on some soothing music. After the first hour, a definite rush hit me. Every part of my body was acutely sensitive, as if all my hairs were standing on end. I found myself rubbing my legs and feet together for a while just because the sensation itself was absolutely delicious. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't an overwhelmingly sexual experience, it was just that everything felt really good to touch. The feeling of textures took on a life of their own, yet I was unable to detect much visual distortion. I stayed under my covers for about an hour, until I had almost reached the peak of my experience. After two hours, I was feeling like I was enveloped in a warm, slow moving liquid. It was almost a womb-like experience. I started to notice minor visuals as objects started taking on patterns, and casting colorful glows. The music I had been playing became more vivid and textured yet I could still focus on everything around me. Eventually I stopped noticing these things and concentrated on my feelings, both physical and mental.
As my mind journeyed beyond my immediate surroundings, I was able to view my life in a detached ego-less type of manner. I would think about the things I had to be grateful for, and this filled me with an amazing amount of warmth. Moving on from my safe 'happy' thoughts, I started to think about things I wanted to change in my life for the better. Everytime I would mentally view a situation that had caused discomfort in the past, a small voice would guide me through the experience. This voice would point out what was just ego and what was really the root of the problem. Let me say now that I live in my house with other people, and things had been getting quite tense. Call it the overcast weather, or call it conflicting personalities, but everyone seemed to feel burdened, causing some tension. During my experience, it was like I was shedding a layer of protective skin. It no longer mattered what one person had done to someone else, I only wanted to find the road to solve the problem. It was like my mind was absorbing the truth, and cutting out the extraneous crap that blocks us from seeing clearly.
Three hours in, I had worked through the majority of crap that was bothering me, and I noticed that the 'peak' had some sustain. It wasn't like LSD, where you keep building until you reach a peak, and then you come down. It was like I reached a peak, and then it plateaued. I got up and walked around my apartment, filled with wonder and joy. Let me also say that I was shocked to realize that I could function normally through all of this. I am used to experiences with LSD, where interacting with other 'straight' people can cause some tension occasionally, but MDMA was different. If the phone rang I answered it, and found that instead of being filled with dread, I liked talking to other people just to wish them a great day. After this realization, I put on some music in my living room and started playing a meditative game. The music was amazing, and I found that occasionally I would find myself dancing around my apartment, literally moved by the music. Eventually, one of my roomates got up and we talked for hours. We talked about my experience, and we talked about our living situation, moving from topic to topic effortlessly. During this conversation there was no tension, only ease and peace. When he would bring up a painful topic, we worked through it, and all was the better. After six hours, I realized I was coming down. My body ached slightly (amphetamines will do that), and I was slightly dehydrated (word of warning, drink a decent amount of liquids even if you aren't thirsty). I relaxed the rest of the evening, as I felt drained, and slept soundly through the night.
If I had to pass on some words of wisdom to people trying it for the first time it would be this -
1.Like all drugs, do it for the first time in an environment you feel comfortable in.
2.Drink a decent amount of liquids
3.Wear baggy comfortable clothes
4.Don't try to restrict the experience, things will come and go but you should be able to view them openly
5.Do your research!
6.Many people complain of depression setting in after they come down. While I am prone to depression, I was able to get past it by reflecting on the experience. Not in a 'Oh, I wish I had more' kind of way, but in a 'I am lucky to have had the opportunity' kind of way.
7.Best as you can, know what you are taking. Unlike other drugs, with MDMA, you can find testing kits online.
Well I guess that wraps it up. Thanks for the read!
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Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.