Has Changed My Life
by @Shlie Dogg
Citation:   @Shlie Dogg. "Has Changed My Life: An Experience with MDMA (exp21165)". Erowid.org. Oct 26, 2020. erowid.org/exp/21165

3.5 tablets   MDMA


I know that this is very long to read...

Well where do I start? I begin taking E about a year ago. I have taken it close to 20 times now. My first time I was very scared on what would happen to me, but about 20 minutes after I ooted up the white mitsubisi I became very calm and into the effects. Every time following that night taking pills was so much fun for me.

One night I took 2 green versaches and was rolling harder than I ever have before,this was like the third time I had rolled and then feeling the way I did, I begin taking pills more trying to get the same roll I had that night (which never happened)...

But anyways rolling to me has become a way of life it changed my whole perspective on everything in life and has changed my whole personality. Its really hard to explain to people what ecstasy did to me, the feeling and experiences I have when I'm on it stick with me for ever, two weekends in a row I took blue snoopies and had a rolling party in a field behind my house. Those were the best nights of my life. I had about 20 of my closest friends rolling with me and still to this day I have little flashbacks of the night and I get so emotional I almost cry, because I would do anything to relive the night. Unfortunately the day after the last time we all rolled together one of my friends became very sick,he had been taking morpheine and was also rolling the night before. He and my boyfriend at the time were both sent to a rehab center and it was a horrible expirience.

After all this happened I promised everyone I would quit taking E, it was so hard I begin craving pills and I couldnt deal with my problems, so after about 2 months I gave in and took another pill on halloween, then I started up again, but two nights ago I was told that snoopies had came back so them being my favorite pills I was so excited to get them that night I ended up ooting 3 and a half pills, I snuck out of my house and then after I got back to the party my step dad showed up really pissed off.

I walked in my house and they knew that I was really messed up my eyes were huge! And I was trippin out, because they were yelling at me, they told me to pack my stuff because I was going to rehab. I freaked out and ran outside, it was so cold outside and I had no where to go, it was the worst feelign in the world. When I came back in the house I locked myself in my room and they didnt bother me until this morning when they told me I had to go away and that they were only doing it because they loved me, I am very depressed today which is normal for me and everything that has gone wrong because of taking E id just making me crazy, I started cutting my wrists when I got depressed from the pills,

It has ruined my life and the worst part of it is that I dont regret it at all, I would pop pills all day every day if I could because it fills a spot in me that nothing else can. Sometimes I just wish I could go back and see what my life would be like if I had never done it in the first place, but ill never know and so for the next 30 days ill be in rehab, thinking about my life and feening out for a pill...

As I say life rolls on...

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 21165
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 26, 2020Views: 137
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MDMA (3) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Difficult Experiences (5), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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