Citation: Salviafirsttry. "Told Me Everything I Can't Remember: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp21222)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2007. erowid.org/exp/21222
I got some extract fortified leaves from a friend, enough for 4 hits, 2 for me, 2 for my wife. I decided to go first and then 'report' back to her to decide if it's good to take or what. After the first hit I didn't notice much, but I held it in and got the second one ready. I rememberd that I was supposed to 'torch' it real good, so I did that and inhaled the second hit. Before that was over I started noticing some psychedelic effect. I rememebred that was as far as I had gotten the first time I had tried it, years ago, but after I exhaled the second hit, I could tell I was going farther this time.
The smoke was still in the air when a huge, loud, rushing pulsewave, whatever, it was like whooosh! Salvia kind of works in levels like that for me I guess. It's like whooosh! and I'm on the next level, and whooosh! I'm on the next, and then whoosh, I come back. I couldn't sit up anymore, I fell back against the couch and my body felt all drugged, kind of like anasthetic cause I couldn't feel any pain. I was in the 'reporter' mode, trying to communicate to my wife what it was doing to me. I said to her in a voice that sounded distant and loud, with lots of reverb and echo on it or 'Woah! Like the first thing it does is it makes the room start moving' and it was. In the smoke that still hadn't cleared, the lighting of the whole room had changed and the room was starting to kind of tear apart at various places where the shadows and the smoke were cutting the walls.
And then everytthing was sliced up into peices and it was all zooming towards me. It was the world, sliced up, into a billion million peices, all laid out in front of me. One of them was being offered to me. A voice that I didn't really hear but was communicating with through pure psychic feeling. Such a powerful strong feeling that I was absolutely sure it was not coming from my own self. It was telling me that this was my peice of the world, and I should take it, and do what I will with it. That it is the true nature of all existence on this earth. I was so shocked. I was almost yelling, I was saying 'REALLY?'.
I hadn't yet taken the peice that was being offerd me, I didn't really know how actually but before I could ask I was told that I had to put my arms in a kind of C formation. This salvia spirit or voice or presence that was talking to me had a lot of attitude. Kind of just smacking me upside the face with the great truth and telling me so simply exactly what it is in a matter of seconds that it made me feel stupid for not knowing it all along. I kind of felt him/her yelling to me 'DUH! GRAB THIS PIECE OF EARTH AND COME WITH ME AND I'LL SHOW YOU, silly human consiousness, but you'll never know everything!' and I had the attitude of 'Oh yeah well I can handle any of this psychdelic trickery, I'm in it for the truth, who are you and what can you show me?' Now I'm not going to totally lie and brag and tell the story like I wasn't secretly shitting my pants in the background of my consiousness. I was damn scared beleive me! So I put my arms around (or into) this slice of the earth that was being offered as mine. I was still sitting down but by doing this I almost felt like I was standing.
It didn't work the first time but its kind of like puking, it doesn't come up on the first heave but then there was a second heave and I was totally melted into it. I was gone for a moment, but soon I found myself in the next level (remember the whoosh, it was there again). So after I was 'sucked in' I got to see how it works in the spirit world (I guess that's what it is). Every soul that's gathered around this planet has a piece of it to make as they will. They make changes by injecting themselves into the living creatures of the earth to carry out whatever mission. So I saw the planet as my soul sees it. A warm ball of potential, which currently (on this trip, according to me anyway) was looking kind of gray and polluted in a lot of places, but not black, gray, so theres still hope, right? It looked kind of oil spilled, but still we all have a peice in it.
I'm on the couch, leaning back heavily no doubt, in the salvia trance I feel almost as I'm lying on my back with all my limbs out, the limbs of my soul, and I'm staring up at this huge ball of liquid energy that is our planet, and I'm kind of swimming in it, paddling my arms and legs in it to try and spin it in the right direction. We're all out there paddling on this plannet, and hardly anyone realizes it so they're all paddling in weird opposite directions and threatening to throw the planet out of allignment with their ignorance. At this point I had the feeling like everyone should smoke salvia so they can know like I know. I started feeling like I had figured everything out and I was really getting to higher consiousness. I was feeling like I knew everything, and I started feeling attitude rise up in myself. Kind of proud, I was here where I shouldn't be, smoking the herb I shouldn't smoke and knowing what I shouldn't know, but I should know, and I do know. I was feeling kind of sinful even, the taboo of eating chocolate, or the kind of rush I would get drinking from the fountain of youth.
I jumped off the planet at some point. *Whoosh* and I was still with my back to the stars and facing the earth, watching it get smaller. Just watching the earth, feeling like I was flying and on fire, and so very cool. So very bad. It was at that point that I noticed I was still on the couch, but that was pretty far away. My wife was there looking back at me, asking me how it was. I felt like I had this really evil look in my face, and I say this because I could see my own face. I said the following words 'It's great, go ahead, take yours, take your peice, take it.' or something to that effect. I felt like I said it in the way my friends tried to get me to try pot in the early days, like it's all bad and stuff and you'll be cool by doing it.
But at that point I was the ultimate cool. It felt great and I wanted her to see what I was seeing. It was all so real, I actually thought that if she smoked it, she would instantly be there with me and we could go flying around the galaxy. I was flying in earth's orbit, I really felt like the trip was going to last for days, or that time totally didn't matter. Even though my wife was right there as a reference to actual existing time, I was totally decieved by salvia. Right then she started to take her hits. I saw her start melting into her section of the earth, like I had done, but the effects were just starting to wear off for me so that's all I got to see.
The voice was still in my head and talking to me but more had the attitude of that friend on the phone that doesn't feel like talking anymore and is looking for ways to end the conversation and I was in the role of: 'But wait, what about this? And what about that? Wait, wait.' the questions were being answered but the voice was becoming softer to the point where I think I kind of answered the last couple before I realized I was talking to myself. I started to realize that time was stuck, that I was creating my whole reality by the synapses in my brain and if my imagination ceased to function, time would cave in and I really would have nothing at all.
I felt claustraphobic for a moment as the room kind of shrunk around me and time froze to nothing at all. I looked to my wife but she was completely frozen. I tried to ask her something but she was on salvia herself by this time which I had completely forgotten for some reason or another and couldn't ansewr me. She didn't move. So I was stuck, but trying not to panick. I calmed myself and tried to think rationally. At some point I rememebred the drug and that she had taken it second and I had taken it first. I saw that millions of beings on this earth have taken it throughout history. I saw them in a line as though they were sitting on the infinate couch to the left and to the right of us. I stopped being panicked about the idea that my wife isn't real that she's just my imaginary love that my existance needs so I'm creating her on the fly by every moment. That thought was so scary and fake and gross so I just rejected it. It was just the 'coming down heebie jeebies' I said to myself and proceeded to wait. Waiting helped.
Eventually she started moving her arms in strange angles, though not the same as mine. I tried to stand up and it was kind of hard. I tried to do my arm movements but I pretty much knew it was over and I wasn't going to get sucked in, but then I wasn't really sure about anything. I didn't know how long it was supposed to last or if it would come back all of a sudden or what. But it didn't come back and after a few minutes my head had pretty much cleared up and my wife came back to reality. Then I realized that I had probably messed with her trip by trying to talk to her and ask her questions while I was coming down and all disoriented. I guess I was scared. I wasn't really scared until the end. I had no trouble getting out of reality, but I just didn't think I could go back to normal life after being outside like that.
Salvia talked me back into it though, all the questions I asked about how this couldn't be real and and that it's so lame if I'm the one whose creating my wife. Somehow salvia told me thats the way it works. I'm creating my wife and she's creating me, and in that way we are seperate entities but we exist as one. When I run out of ideas, she'll think of something! Reality won't cease to exist after all! I felt if she hadn't been there next to me, also smoking salvia, that I could have been completely lost. The words I was saying out loud to rationalize my re-entry to this world didn't make any sense at all. I couldn't describe in words the infinate loop of me smoking being neccessary to her smoking being necesary to me smoking being neccessary to existing, but it was all exactly the way it was supposed to be or it wouldn't have worked. That was the message salvia left me with.
For a moment it all made sense and I totally understood why everything had to be the way it was but right after it all left, I couldn't make sense of those words I had just said and it slipped away. The basic message that me and my wife are obvious soulmates could never be forgotten though. It would not have worked without her there. I know you're supposed to use a sober sitter, maybe that's why I felt evil when I told her to take it even though I was still tripping. I felt like I knew everything and that she should know everyhting too. Cause it's our right, damnit! As long as I've got synapses I'm going to stimulate them and see what I can see. Drugs is the right of every human and I feel damn sorry for all the poor people of the world that can't afford drugs. They should have one of those 'just 70 cents a day can keep this kid from stealing your cd player to buy drugs' commercials. I'd donate. They'd send you pictures later of your 'kid' all strung out and happy and stuff. It would be great!
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