DOSE:	2 lines	insufflated	Cocaine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated		Crack	(freebase)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

Still living in a dream world, filled wiht hazy, sunny, cloudy, skys filled with multi-colored clouds. Combined with the people of who I've never met, but could somehow connect with. I was thinking way too much. Sometimes about nothing. I wanted to say so much, I wanted to do so much, but physically could not move. I could feel nothing. So un-real. Floating. Flying. Walking. Spititual. Freedom. Watching my shadow. Wondering. Scared. Paranoid. Irratated. Annoyed. Angry. Violent thoughts. Disgusted. Pain like I have never felt before. Depressed. Paranoid. Wanting it all to end. Would have done anything. Something for it to go away. Blackness. Paranoid. Jittery. Must move. Must walk. Feeling lost. Where should I go? Where did everyone else go? Alone.

I dont really need it. But I wanted it. Ok. I gave in to the tempation. Again. I couldnt resist. Watching you. So calm. So focused. Tasted different. Back to that point. All is good. This goes on.

Bored. Cold. Angry. Want to feel normal. But I would never know what that normal would ever feel like again. I am forever changed.

I am re-arranged.
All my thoughts.
All my feelings.
Have become numb.
I really have none.
Wanting so bad to hurt the people that have hurt me in the past. Feeling the need to get even.
Tired of the bullshit.

***started around midnight, went all night until noon the next day, and I only slept 8 hours out of the 67 hour weekend, and went without eating for about 51 hours***

I LOVED IT.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 21693
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 20, 2018	Views: 3,078
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Cocaine (13), Crack (82), Sleep Deprivation (140) : General (1), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Unknown Context (20)