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Illuminating
MDMA
Citation:   Thomas. "Illuminating: An Experience with MDMA (exp21812)". Erowid.org. Jan 4, 2021. erowid.org/exp/21812

 
DOSE:
  repeated smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 136 lb
Many people have a skewed perception of MDMA, commonly known as Ecstasy. I was no exception. However, after a recent experience with the notorious drug, my perception of it changed entirely.

I have been a recreational drug user for about two years now, having smoked Cannabis and Opium as well as having eaten Psilocybin mushrooms. My first Ecstasy encounter proved to be an enormously beneficial experience.

I was headed to a rave with a couple of friends whom I shall name R, C, and J. I had purchased the pill through a high school friend who had tested it out prior to my buying, and if his glowing comments were any indication, I was in store for a fabulous evening.

My friends and arrived at the rave early in the evening and decided to smoke a joint before we went in. I had made all of the necassary preparations beforehand: plenty of water, gum, salty snacks, and some rolling paper to sneak in another joint or two. The joint that we had smoked was very enjoyable and we all agreed that the evening was off to an auspicious beginning.
We made it inside the rave, after skillfuly concealing our joints (as well as my tablet), and started grooving to the excellent house music. The setting was amazing-people were very energetic and receptive, a classic MDMA environment. After having danced for a while, I chose to drop my pill.

After about a half an hour of fun, I felt the MDMA enter my bloodstream. I was stricken with a sense of euphoria and content that I cannot describe. I felt an immediate connection with those around me and started initiating conversations with familiar faces that I recognized from my college.

My friends and I also talked at length about various things, and even though I was the only one who was rolling, we all felt an increasing and undeniable bond with each other.

I had also at this point begun to realize what was happening; the barriers of my ego were being knocked down, enabling me to speak freely and express myself without any inhibition
the barriers of my ego were being knocked down, enabling me to speak freely and express myself without any inhibition
. Soon after I realized that it was my ego's barriers that accounted for so many problems in my life. In this time of self-introspection, I found that people had many of the problems I did, and if we all knew how to forget our trivial and petty differences, we could understand each other and respect each other.

I was not about to let this epiphany regress into a mere, abstract thought. I quickly asked my friend J if he had a pen, and when he gave one to me I started to write down my thoughts.

After this I discussed my revelations with my friends R and C, whom are both familiar with Buddhism and other eastern religions and the writings of Terrence McKenna. They found that my idea of MDMA use relating to spirituality to be very interesting, and they encouraged me to investigate it further.

I then came up (while still rolling very hard at this point) with possible topics for my senior thesis, as well as my ideas for what academic route I wanted to take. I had decided by the end of the evening that I wanted very much to inject my life with some sort of spirituality, and that I wanted to investigate the use of entheogenic drugs in Shamanistic cultures.

Fortunately, this feeling did not ellude me when I came down completely. I felt that the evening was an amazing success: not only did I have a great time with my friends, but my revelations have stuck with me and I am know pursuing them at school. Not only this, but I feel that after this experience that my relationships with people are starting to improve, and that my view toward life is generally more positive than it has been in the past.

If MDMA were not as psychologically addicting as it is, I think this therapeutic drug can prove to be a great benefit for most.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 21812
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 4, 2021Views: 869
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Rave / Dance Event (18)

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