Contemplating the Pathless Path
2C-E & Cannabis
Citation: Gloggawogga. "Contemplating the Pathless Path: An Experience with 2C-E & Cannabis (exp21843)". Erowid.org. Mar 6, 2003. erowid.org/exp/21843
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
12 mg | oral | 2C-E | (capsule) |
T+ 0:59 | 2 hits | smoked | Cannabis | |
T+ 1:45 | smoked | Cannabis | ||
T+ 6:15 | 1 bowl | smoked | Cannabis |
BODY WEIGHT: | 200 lb |
This is my first experience with 2ce, My psychedelic experiences are broad date back over 25 years, including 200+ LSD trips, and also experience with shrooms, cacti, ayahuasca, and various research chems including 5-meo-dmt, dpt, 4-aco-dipt, 4-aco-det, 2c-i, 2c-c, and 2c-t-2. The setting was in my home. My wife was out of town, so there was just me and our dogs.
At around 7 pm I swallowed a gel cap with 12mg 2ce, and smoked couple hits of weed from a bowl. I was on a irc chat line at the time, and chatted on and off for about 45 minutes and then my cable modem connection dropped. I called the provider and they said they had an outage in my neighborhood and they were working on it. I was just feeling a little bit of restless energy at the time. I didn't have much to do so I killed the next 45 minutes or so doing chores around the house: some laundry to fold and some cleaning to do in the kitchen.
At around 8:30 the effects became more pronounced and I was at ++. There was a classic phenethylamine signature here. I noticed my cable modem had come back up so first I put on some streaming grateful dead music. Then I got back on the chat line and chatted on and off for about an hour or so, smoking a few more hits of weed during this time. The effects were approaching a +++.
Then around 9:30 or so I laid back on my bed and settled into some deep thought and contemplation. I began to think about spiritual revelation in my life. I recognized that spiritual awareness, to me, seems to be something that is to be experienced anew and fresh in each and every moment...each time like the very first time. To experience revelation I must first die and then be born again, so it is really experienced by a new and different person each and every time. I saw my spiritual path as a completely pathless path, with no sign posts and no markers, to be traveled by my steps alone. However I also realized that, honestly, I was not at this level of spiritual awareness at the time and I was really just logically analyzing things, with a lot of help from the 2c-e. And things really seemed to make sense. But the 2ce, like a typical phenethylamine, was not the sort of hard driving psychedelic like LSD, DMT or other indoles. There was plenty of room for an ego, at least at the dosage I took.
At around 10:30 or so, I my dogs were letting me know it was time for them to go outside and do their business. It was kinda cold outside, but I figured walking around would provide a change of atmosphere and help burn off some of the moderate physical stimulation this compound produced. I walked each dog about 1/2 a mile. While walking around there were some OEV's and there was some increased appreciation for aesthetic beauty, but not of the flavor I usually get from other psychedelics. With 2ce it was more of a 'logical' appreciation than a 'artistic' appreciation. I don't know how to better describe it. Still very beautiful, but in a somewhat different way.
After walking the dogs, say around 11:30 or so, I put on some streaming ambient music and I laid back on my bed and returned to my contemplation of my pathless path. I recognized that while my pathless path has no sign posts or markers, there can be many markers, particularly in the form of resistance, to indicate when I am missing my path. For example, in relationships with others if I am non-accepting and focus on how I would like others to change, I will meet resistance. OTOH, if I focus on what underlies my non-accepting reaction to others and try to change my own reaction, this is the path of least resistance. I saw there are two forces at play in my relationships with others: love and attachment. Love is to totally accept others for who they are, and gracefully so. Pure love is the pathless path: there is no resistance at all.
Attachment, OTOH, is the ego identifying with some image of others, and then wanting others to conform to that image. Attachment is not love at all, and it will always meet up with resistance. But with the help of the 2ce I could see why putting this in practics is not as easy as it sounds, as the energy and will that I exert gets exerted on both conscious and subconscious (Jungian collective) levels. This subconscious energy is internalized and experienced in the form of emotion.
So while on a conscious and intellectual level I may be accepting another as they are, if I am still experiencing some emotional discomfort then probably on a collective subconscious level I am still directing my energy in a non-accepting way. This subconscious energy meets with resistance causing the emotional discomfort that I experience. I saw that to resolve this, I need to bring the the subconscious energy to conscious levels. This requires constant introspection. But it is not enough just to take a psychedelic and introspect a little bit. I must introspect all the time. Ultimately, to tread the pathless path, I must be willing to die and be born again in each and every moment of my life. Of course, this was just a logical understanding. I wouldn't say the 2ce brought me any kind of authentic death/rebirth experience.
By around 1:15 I was back down to a ++ or lower and was very hungry, having fasted since lunch time. I cooked up some pasta, smoking a bowl while the pasta was cooking. I then got back on the chat line for a little while and spent the next few hours surfing the net, lurking in forums, and contemplating on and off but not nearly as intensely as earlier. There was definitely some strong jaw and neck tension during this time. It had actually been slowly building all night.
I fell asleep around 5:00, but was woken up around 7:30 by my dogs, who wanted to go out again to do their business and also wanted their breakfast. At about 8:00 I went back to bed but couldn't sleep...mostly because it was just morning and my body clock was in wake up mode. So around 9:00 I got up and started my day. Being sleep deprived I had a bit of a groggy day until afternoon when I took a nap. There was a slight feeling of a phenethylamine hang-over, but not as pronounced as the sleep deprivation.
This was definitely a very rewarding experience for me, and I will probably try this material again at a higher dose, say around 18 mg. I could imagine at this dose it could be a little be more scary. I wouldn't say its a warm and fun phenethylamine like 2c-b or 2c-i can be for me. Nor would I say its a spiritually profound phenethylamine like mescaline can be for me, but maybe it could be at a higher dose. Still it seems more for the logical and philosophical side of the brain. A very useful and rewarding material in its own way.
Exp Year: 2003 | ExpID: 21843 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Mar 6, 2003 | Views: 31,167 |
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