Cacti - T. pachanoi & Salvia divinorum
Citation: Cheshire Tiger. "Cactus Kiss: An Experience with Cacti - T. pachanoi & Salvia divinorum (exp22186)". Erowid.org. Aug 19, 2004. erowid.org/exp/22186
After reading 'Story in the void' by Ab (mushroom experiences vault) I am compelled and inspired to share the story of the day I met Pedro, which is incidentally all a lie meant to confuse drugged out freaks.
I had always really wanted to try peyote, I would even go so far as to say I felt called by it. However, like most of us, it is totally inacessable in my locale. Then I read San Pedro was not only legal, but readily available in many garden centers. I knew what I had to do. I went to every K-mart, Wal-Mart, and Home Depot my little brain could remember ever seeing. I was not lucky. I only found one catus that may or may not have been a Pedro, no little garden tags labeling genus and species were to be seen on this beautiful specimen of cactusy greenness, and feeling conspicuous and plenty shady, made no attempt at the assistance of the hired personel. I was beaten.
Well less than two months passed and destiny proved its point. Something about not being able to force it to do anything it doesn't feel like, I believe. I was driving past the local Super-Target (of course the only one my little brain had failed to think of) when my head snapped sharply to the left, as if by its own volition, aiming my line of vision right into the garden center. Simutaneously, I had a moment. As my eyes fell on the garden center and my vision locked, time seemed to freeze, and everything seemed to go a shade ligher in color, only for a fraction of a moment, mind you. Well immediately I knew; this psychic quirk has served me well in the past. But I was in no hurry; the frustration of my quest up to this point had put a wind of patience into sails that previously were full a manic, frenzied, I can't wait to sink my teeth into some of that caa-razy catus energy.
Well who knows how long it was, not me. Maybe a few weeks, whatever. I awoke one fine day and the thought went through my mind like some Mescalito had spoken it 'You're in for a pleasant suprise tonight'. And then later 'You're gonna trip on the cactus tonight' Well I was already contemplating extending my weekend an extra day by calling out from my glorius telemarketing gig, and with that thought, it was on. I arrived in the garden center brimming with hope and expectation and rushed to the cactus section. I did not see any Pedro, however there was an Old Man cactus there which the sight of brought my girlfriend and I to laughter, because it had so much pesonality and wisdom about it. In retrospect, I felt as though this was some test of my questionable worthiness to Pedro, and that Old Man needed a closer inspection of me. Beaten again I made to leave, and halfway out, and far from the cactus section(?) my girl noticed 'hey look there's more cactus over here'. And lo' and behold five or six one foot tall, mean, green, classification tagged, $7.50 priced, magical examples of destinies generosity stood before me.
Well the two largest were selected and liberated from the store. Home again, the work was begun. I'm talking cutting spines and peeling skin like a task that seems to have no end. I didn't mind though, I was so excited and happy that this moment, which I'll remind you I waited YEARS for, was finally occuring. Task completed, pieces were frozen then blenderized with lemon juice. Two feet of cactus had been prepared for two people. I found the taste not really bad, it wasn't no cotton candy, but green, bitter, slimy, frothy as hell, and utterly disgusting. This was not a problem for me, but my girlfriend was not as excited about this as I was, and gave up after three sips. Consumption chore started at twelve midnight and after an hour, and consequently only one cup, I stopped for a little bit. My stomach was like 'whoa buddy, why don't we chill a little while' I was like 'Alright but as soon as you feel cool you're gettin' another cup, you annoying little pussy'.
I don't know, at maybe two o'clock and two cups S was like 'one more sip right now and we'll find out who the pussy really is' Well OK, you don't need to be a pushy bastard about it, hey maybe later, or maybe another day. I was afraid of not having had enough, but I was reassured when at two thirty I started noticing very slight auras around things. And then at three o'clock, it happened. While sitting at the top of the stairs, enjoying a small dose of death, tobacco style, after a couple minutes of gentle gazing, a very subtle, slow, serpentine, rythmic undulation was observed in the stair railing. I went inside and announced firmly with an air of finality that I indeed had just experienced-yes-a visual. That yes, I bought cactus at a major chain store and now I am indeed trippin'. Hooray me.
Well I want you to understand that my mental state at this point was not even close to the unadulterated chaos or edgy near panic that acid labels itself as Trippin'. I experienced a light mood lift, where laughter came easily and heartily. Just chillin' with my girl, we were looking at photos from the hubble 'scope and noticing the different faces and images we could see (she having no effects on her brain) when she made the remarkable remark of the kind that you only hear in moments like this 'it's like a bunch of pieces of God just floating around out there' Wha-bam, yeah, that one was the money. At this point I wasn't really getting much in the way of visuals, but I did have a very 'lit' kind of feeling. Mind feeling very normal with the exception that I definitely had that 'I'm actually a piece of the universe' feeling. This was maybe four o'clock. I will say at this point that I believe that there is some truth to the 'doctrine of signatures'. I wouldn't try to cure a brain tumor with a fifty pound bag of walnuts, but over the course of a lifetime, perhaps prevention could be written. I mention this because when the cactus is cut you see a star, and there are many hidden within its humorously phallic length.
My girlfriend was tucked in and kissed goodnight and I was on my own. I sat down at the table where there was a big cactusy mess, (by the way my entire kitchen was looking like a scene from ghostbusters or even the old gameshow DoubleDare, I'm talkin' green cactus goo everywhere) anyway I wanted to get better aquainted with these cactus fellows, well the stumps of them anyway. I was looking at where the cut had been made and noticing how the star actually looked like two triangles meshed oddly, seven points, not a star of david, and I was thinking that this was an expression of how the cactus pulls divine energy as its general state of growth, and then I touched it, amazingly, it was dry, smooth. If you've ever had any experience with these things, well then you know they are very slimy internally, so this was fantastic to me because in that moment I realized that he had already begun to heal. A thin layer of cells had already begun to create a skin over the wound. Then the mescalito spoke (probably not the first instance, considering how I found the cactus, also everything else) 'put your lips to the cactus and breathe in it's life force'
Now I felt a little silly about this cactus kiss, but hey, I was down with it. I put my lips top center, as a tactile sensation it was definitly pleasing, closed my eyes, and breathed in. The colors were fantastic, bright, metallic, 60's style psychedelia, as I breathed it in, I remember the color field turning a bright and steady brilliant hue of turquoise blue, and two little rainbow-tipped streamers twisting up and through like the shape of DNA strands. In that moment I realised the entire trip was indicative of the general nature of the cactus's spirit. Pedro is very patient, this is evidenced through out my entire experience, if you want cactus visuals you have to slow down, stop, and sit and look at something- patiently, the longer you look the wilder it will get. Patience in every aspect, slower than any other to come on, slow in preperation, peeling the skin- patience will serve you well because it creates larger pieces ultimately pulled faster. And then there's the patience it took in just getting it. I by nature am not in any way a patient person, so perhaps this was my lesson.
Pedro has a great sense of humor, he will definitly show you just how funny the universe can be, not the hysterical madness laughter acid can bring over non-existent and inconsequential details, but more of noticing the naturally absurd everywhere. Thinking about it now, I believe that this is large part of what its healing was for me, like I had forgotten how to really laugh. Keep in mind that I was realizing all this in a single instant while I was locked in the spiritual embrace of my makeout session with Pedro. When I opened my eyes, I was not prepared for what I saw. Before this there had only been the minorist of visuals, and I had accepted that and was fine with things that way. But when I opened my eyes, Holy Maceral! Flowing patterning absolutly everywhere, I recognized this as the flowing energy serpent of the world, it was fainter on dead surfaces such as the wall, but in the cactus stump it was very pronounced and looking exactly like a coiled serpent. I had noticed before how serpentine the flesh of the cactus had appeared, so slimy and green. This visual lasted for a few minutes and then faded out as my attention was cut short of it.
I went for the bathroom mirror. As I was gazing intently, first I noticed the way my peception seemed to morph and in a way criss and then cross, it's really unexplainable. It was like, without any visual disturbance, my face seemed to be continually changing its proportions. Then studying my expression I saw my sadness, just a very sad person, I knew this was an expression of nearly life long depression. After that I saw myself as very stern, I looked somehow older than what I actually am. I knew that this was in fact a deeper layer of my spirit that does not put up with my bullshit. I have felt strong magical curses come from here onto myself in an effort to teach through punishment. I did not mention that I felt this stern person to be a strong magician. Then by way of a type of psychic vision, that I have seen before without drugs, I saw myself as a Leprechaun, yes a leprechaun. I'm not talking lucky the freakin' Lucky Charms leprechaun. I'm talking like a wild eyed, long bearded type of nature spirit. Joyously free and very wild. I felt as though this was from somewhere near the begining of my spiritual evolution, like I was this nature spirit before I ever had lived any human lives.
I have reflected on this vision for quite some time and I think that what was represented was the aspects of my personality that are most conflicted. And furthermore, the resulting person being very sad, because of the continual struggle for power between these elements. Almost a year later, upon speaking of this with my girlfriend, a psyche major, she pointed out the similarity to Freud's theory of the Id, ego, and super ego, to the three-fold vision of myself. It made perfect sense.
At some point after that I decided to smoke some low-grade salvia I happened to have laying around. I never had any real major effects from it before, but as I would have given a finger off my left hand (probably the pinky) for a joint at that point; I decided 'hey it can't hurt'. Well a couple of strong hits later I got some minor visuals. It was interesting because the sally sucked alot of the color out of the mescaline and replaced it with ancient looking aztecy type visuals. Immediately I felt the urge to go for a walk, Sally loves it outside. So it was like five thirty am, and I enjoyed this walk very much. The whole time I was kind of thinking someone in my apartment complex must have some herb, but I figured it not very wise to go knocking on doors inquiring about an illegal substance so early in the morning. So I went home. At my door I had noticed that the downstairs neighbors had left their garbage outside, and I was fighting a compulsion to take it out for them, even though I don't know them really at all.
I hung out inside until dawn was breaking and went to take out their garbage. I built this act up in my mind as the working of a magical blessing, because, I reasoned, they won't know who took it out, and because it would seem more logical, they will suspect their immediate neighbors, but it will go unmentioned, and because of this kind deed will feel more amiable towards this neighbor, and perhaps perform some kind deed as an act of reciprocity, and then the neighbor will not be aware that this was an act of reciprocity and will pass the good deed on to someone else. I thought this the entire way to the dumpster, a good ways mind you, and kept it focused in my mind the whole way back. Right as I was opening my door I saw this person across the street and I thought 'and after passing through this huge chain of people it will end with him, and I shut the door. When my girlfriend woke she amused me greatly with the hilarity of her character. For example, rejecting my kisses and calling me cactus lips. She didn't know the totality of why that was so funny to me.
I put on 'the orbs adventures in the ultraworld', my favorite tripping music of all time. And laughed out loud when the line 'you can't see that anymore, well you might still see it in the desert' jumped out at me. Feeling mostly down I tried to sleep all day, but couldn't. This was very bad because I had work at seven pm. So feeling tripped out and ragged out from no sleep, I went to work. I had called out on supposed car trouble and couldn't do a second day. When I walked in to the office which was decorated at the time with a generous number of crazy, bliking, flashing, oh my goodness I am still tripping christmas lights, I started to doubt my ability at coping with this day. I was nervous because, like I said this was a wonderful telemarketing job, which meant dealing with people all day. My first call came through, and while funtioning under a mind bending type of tension, I spilled my spiel and I sold my first call. That had never, ever happened to me, and afterwards I relaxed, and the comforting thought passed through my mind 'what am I worried about, I'm universal today'.
Afterwards I chilled, and while talking to people drew this sketchy looking dragon that just sort of unfolded out of my doodling. By the time I left the christmas lights had returned to their normal and rightful state. It was not long before I was back in line at Target buying up every last one (well except the last one) of those little green friends. But that's another story.
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