Citation: Mojomasta. "An Iron Grasp: An Experience with Tobacco - Cigarettes (exp22489)". Erowid.org. Mar 28, 2006. erowid.org/exp/22489
Cigarettes. What comes to MY mind when I hear it, is 'Damn. I'd definatly go for one now'. Thing is, I probably will wind up having one tonight... even tho technically It's been three months I've quit...
I smoked my first ciggy when I was about 11. I had this thirteen year old friend... anyway, he was a BAD influence. I went over to his place one time. We sat on the couch watching tv, and he offered me a cigarette. Heh, at 11, even if I knew it was wrong, and my parents warned me against it, I accepted. I smoked it, felt very dizzy, and smoked ANOTHER. I kicked back and layed down upon the sofa, feeling very dizzy and queezy. He gave me a cigarette to take home, and I left.
My mom found that cigarette. I got into trouble. Like it or not, I was an 11 year old kid. I diddnt have any more contact with nicotine...
...until I was around 15. I was AGAINST smoking, til about then. All my friends would try to peer pressure me, but to no avail. Anyway, at the age of 15, that's when I had a rebelious uprising. No more lil momma's boy. I went out, I got drunk, I smoked weed, I lost my virginity, and, I started smoking...
I quit the weed part about a year and a half later. I dunno, it just wasnt for me. I prefered (and still do) the feeling of alchohol... and every time I mixed reefer and booze, I'd get sick. And cigarettes. I started stealing cigarettes from my dad. He'd buy them in cartons, so, he diddnt notice it when I was taking a pack a week from him. I diddnt smoke that much, and I shared some too.
The habbit increased. I was taking three packs from him a week, and he started realising it. Anyway, I got yelled at alot, and I cut it out. I began bumming from friends, bumming cash from my parents, selling bottles, anything just to get the 5 dollars to buy a pack... but, prices go up. Yup. Here in canada, cigarettes are 8 bucks a pack, plus change. That's quite a bit when you're a 16, 17 year old cigarette addict.
I got a job, and began fueling my pack a day habbit. It's all good when I'm a teenager with money bursting out my pockets... but... jobs come and go. That job went, and I'm still unemployed, being a student and all. Regardless, I ran out of funds... I did some odd computer work from time to time, chores around the house, stuff like that, that KIND of helped me pay for my habit, hell, I was even rolling my own. Much less expensive to buy a pouch of tobacco and a pack of paper, then 8 dollars a pack.
So anyway... I turned 18, still smoking. Cept then it was 100% legal. 18 is the legal age here, in quebec (canada). I could buy booze, cigarettes, whenever I wanted. And JESUS is a beer ever good with a smoke!!!! Of corse I wanted to quit. It's just HARD. Anyway, I fell in love... got a girlfriend... jesus did she (and she still does) inspire me. She diddnt ask me to quit smoking... but it showed that she diddnt really enjoy the fact I smoked. I decided, one day, it was enough, and it was time to quit (I had NO beleif that I could accomplish this. I had tried before many times in the past, but to no avail. Me != much willpower). She was there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to. It was hard, and I actually went over 2 months without a cigarette. Now, I'm smoking a couple here and there, but more of a social thing, and a stress releiver
Also, since I've quit, I can run better, without getting winded, food tastes better, my lung capacity has increased, and also, I can actually save money! No more 'hmm... I got 10 bucks... lets go buy a pack. I actually have a hard time finding stuff to spend my money on now. I gained about 15 pounds since I quit.
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