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On the Verge of Tears, and Yet So Happy
DXM with CPM & Tobacco
by Sunshine
Citation:   Sunshine. "On the Verge of Tears, and Yet So Happy: An Experience with DXM with CPM & Tobacco (exp22609)". Erowid.org. Jul 10, 2022. erowid.org/exp/22609

T+ 0:00
8 tablets oral DXM (pill / tablet)
  T+ 1:00 16 tablets oral DXM (pill / tablet)
  T+ 1:00 4 joints/cigs smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  


The first time I tried Coricidin , I took 4 pills with 7 beers. This was during a time in my life when I was viewing myself as nothing more than a mindless drug addict. For the past 4 years before this, I had not spent nearly as much time sober as I had spent on drugs. My mind pretty much shuts down when I spend too much time sober. My drug of choice was and still is marijuana, even though I am positive it has fried my emotions away.

When I took the 4 coricidin pills with the alcohol, it made me feel happy (a side effect that few drugs could give me in those days) and I wanted to experience the beauty of Coricidin on my own.

The next day I was in possession of 3 boxes of coricidin (16 pills each box) and I was with 4 of my friends. I took 8 pills, waited an hour, and took 16 more. 2 of my other friends took 12 each and the other took 8. While waiting for it to kick in, I bought a pack of cigarettes and shared with my friends. By the time the pack was gone, the coricidin kicked in. My head felt disassociated from my body and I get the usual 'look at the monster you've become in just 4 short years' thought ringing through my head.

The world was starting to go silent and my vision was starting to fade. Waves of heat flowed through me. I believed I was dying and did not care at all. I started reading my friends' minds, (believe it or not, I honestly am convinced that I'm psychic). In their minds they viewed me as the most extreme drug addict they know. Since this is the way I felt about myself anyway, I was starting to question if I still had a soul or not. I was intensely happy and at the same time I was intensely sad about not living in the era I wanted to live in- the 1960's (by the way, this is a feeling I get everyday).

And then I broke spiritual ground. I was on the bus with 2 of the friends (one of them went home) and we were heading to my house. It was about 8:30 at night and rays of sunlight streamed in through the windows of the bus. I hallucinated that I was a hippie laying down next to a wounded soldier staring up at the lush trees of Vietnam. I kept thinking, 'I don't care about the dying man next to me. All I care about is myself.'

And then the sun sank below the trees while the rays of sunlight that I was also hallucinating disappeared. Again I was back on the bus, with the darkness of night outside the window. I was feeling INTENSE waves of heat now. 'Let's get off the bus. I wanna get off now.' That's what I was saying to my friends. But then one of them replied, 'We're not at your house yet.' 'I wanna go home,' I said. 'You're so fucked up. Don't you know that's where we're going?' I started crying inside and holding my head. I felt violent tingling all over my body.

And then phase 2 of my spiritual trip kicked in. Again sunlight streamed in through the windows of the bus, and again I was in the middle of the Vietnamese jungle, staring at the rays of sun through the trees. I looked to my right, where the dying soldier was earlier, and saw his rotting corpse. It was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen in my life. I screamed inside. I started trying to think about if there was possibly a psychological meaning behind what I was seeing.
I started trying to think about if there was possibly a psychological meaning behind what I was seeing.

And then I turned away from the rotting corpse, and focused on the rays of light through the trees again. Then, out of nowhere, I heard the most beautiful voice. It was the softest female voice I ever heard, and it was saying, 'He's so happy when he is gone.' The voice was saying it over and over again very slowly. This experience made me wish I had a girlfriend, and I felt intensely sad that I didn't have one. I was thinking, 'This female voice loves me more than anyone else has.'

My friends woke me from my trance and said, 'We're at your stop.' Since I had just woken from a dream, they had to help me get off the bus. We went inside my house, and for the rest of my trip I had no more hallucinations, but I felt really comfortable and warm.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 22609
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 10, 2022Views: 339
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DXM (22) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)

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