Citation: Jay. "Show Me Death, Shephardess: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) & Alcohol (exp22702)". Erowid.org. Apr 16, 2003. erowid.org/exp/22702
Salvia has provided me with such a powerful experience that I honestly don't know where to begin. First, I'd like to say that, prior to this, I tried salvia once to no great effect. I along with my friend and his wife wanted to give it another try so I purchased one gram of 10x extract (originally, we tried regular salvia divinorum along with some 5x extract). The three of us had been out last night shooting pool and drinking and decided, on a whim, to try the 10x extract. We went back to their apartment and had another drink, put on some relaxing music and talked for a while. These are close friends of mine that I trust very much and we are often able to talk to each other about personal thoughts and feelings. Our mood that night was very good and the whole experience seemed somewhat intimate. Neither of us were doing this just for a thrill, or to get high. No one was in a rush to do it and everyone was quite comfortable.
We had lit several candles around the room and turned off all of the lights. We sat on pillows in a circle around a single candle. We continued chatting for a while as my friend prepared the bowl. We then passed the pipe around, each taking a hit, with the sitter just taking a small toke.
I've noticed that the initial effect of Salvia is a break in time. I become disconnected from my life, there is no recollection of having smoked or what I am doing. I only know that I am there. In this moment, my body disappeared and left me a floating entity. For a short moment, I caught a glimpse of something, another universe perhaps. I cannot put my finger on it but it was very short. Then the flame appeared. In our world, flame destroys but this flame was different. It created. It reversed my disembodiment. Slowly, as it consumed my mind, it recreated my physical body. As it did so, it created an intense tingling feeling. This all happened very quickly, and although it was bizarre, I wasn't uncomfortable with it.
We shared our experiences and took notes before packing another bowl. We each lit a cigarette and I got up to pour myself a drink (Crown and Coke). Walking was very funny. Every movement brought on tingling sensations. I was super sensitive and not very coordinated. I walked past the light switch in the kitchen three times before I finally found it.
Some 15 minutes after the first experience, we were ready to go again, this time with a bigger hit. I let my friend go first and watched over him while he took two hits (he hadn't gotten a strong effect on the first try). Once he seemed safe, I took another larger hit. I barely passed the pipe to my friend's wife before I was ripped from reality. Still, the new reality was somewhat fuzzy but cartoonish. The space between us became polygonal. Each of us were situated in our own polygon. I was amazed! I tried explaining this to my friends but I was completely incoherent. Slowly, the polygons started to meld together and everything started to shape itself back to normal.
It was at this point that I noticed a very important aspect of salvia. I DO NOT know I am on salvia. When I leave this reality, the new reality becomes the only reality I know. When I begin to return and things start to 'morph' back to normal, there comes a point of recognition. It's at this point that I realize where I am. It's a very pleasant surprise. Coming back, I appreciate my life and everything around me... and the morphing effect is VERY cool!
After another 20 minutes or so, my friend packed another bowl. This time, he filled it to the top and packed it as much as he could, finishing up the last of the salvia. This time, I took the first hit off of this monster bowl. I believe I had taken a second hit as well but this is very foggy. What happened next, I don't remember. According to my friends, I lunged forward, grabbing each of them by the arm. I looked terrified and my friend grabbed me and laid me down. I didn't put up a fight. I just laid on the floor squirming around. My friend and his wife sat on the couch and a few minutes later I jumped up and moved across the room. I got down on my knees before them and babbled incoherently. I was frantically trying to speak. 'Ommmba! Ommmba!' Still nothing. Things were morphing and I knew now where I was. 'I'm.... I'mmmm...', I babbled. Hey, at least I was being entertaining. 'I'm back! Oh God, I'm back!'
Finally I could speak. I put my face in my hands, repeating that I was back. Very slowly, I slurred, 'you... ah not gonna bereave what just happen!' I was also apologizing to them for reasons they didn't understand. I was shaken and excited, but laughing as I gave my account of what had just transpired.
Time had become a blanket. One end was the past. The other, the future. This blanket suddenly had wrapped around me so that I was unable to move and I 'fell out' of my life and into a universe of complete whiteness. I was in a room with pure white walls. The only thing that wasn't white was various types of industrial machinery. I immediately realized that my entire life was like a TV show. It hadn't been real and now I was being shown that everything that I had loved, and everything I had done had never happened. I was terrified and desperate to have my life back, but how can you have something that isn't real. The feeling of loss was so deep and maddening. The universe had uncaringly dismissed me from a play that I had thought was real.
As I fell into this dimension, I was thrown onto a conveyor belt. I couldn't move since I was wrapped in the 'time blanket'. The conveyor belt went into a wall. It was at this point that I started to give up. I was trying to let go of my life as it was the only choice I seemed to have. I was being dropped from conveyor belt to conveyor belt and through all sorts of machinery. Finally, I was dropped into an empty white room. There was no actual lights but light seemed to be coming from everywhere. Two blurry, dark figures appeared before me. They seemed displeased and I felt a very deep guilt for some reason. I humbly kneeled down before them when they began to change. The room was changing as well.
Suddenly, I hit the point of recognition. What I was seeing was the life I had given up hope for. The two figures became my friend and his wife. I couldn't contain my excitement. I wanted nothing more than to talk to them and tell them how happy I was to see them. Never in my life have I been so happy to see anyone. Speaking was impossible so I formed the simplest message I could in my head: I'm back.
Although this may sound like a bad trip, the horrible feelings that I suffered were dwarfed by the feeling of appreciation I had for my life when I came back. I've been unhappy lately with a lot of things in my life and the Shephardess has shown me that things could be much worse. I could have no problems.
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