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The Downward Spiral
Citation:   Misty J.. "The Downward Spiral: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp22706)". Erowid.org. Feb 7, 2006. erowid.org/exp/22706

  repeated smoked Methamphetamine
The first time I tried ecstasy, I was hooked. When I popped that pill, it made me feel like everything was right in the world. I felt as if everyone in the room loved me as much as I loved them. I felt at peace with everything in my life. I was so high that I was hallucinating and talking to myself, but I thought I was just thinking.

Soon, I started using meth. I started off snorting about a 20 bag a week. When i snorted it, all i wanted to do was talk, but I would get so high, that I couldn't think. I would shake and grind my teeth so much that they would hurt the next day. Soon, I started smoking it. I never really knew what it was like to be high on meth until that day. I started buying larger amounts and staying up for days. When I was high, I felt like I could do anything. Sure, I got crazy/paranoid, but I loved that feeling. I loved feeling so out of it and not knowing what was going on. I was now strong and I was not shy anymore. I could now do my homework every night, but not remember that I did it the next morning. I was smoking about a gram a week, but then it turned ugly. I could no longer function without the use of meth. I started smoking about 3-4 grams a week. I started thinking that my friends were just using me, but in reality, I was just using them to get high. I stole money from my parents and I hooked up with a guy that batched. I thought that was awesome because I had free dope all the time. I basically lived at his house because he gave me dope. People told me that I could not control my drug use, but i just shrugged it off. I knew i was in control, or was I???

My life became so unmanageable and I became so depressed that I didn't want to live anymore. When I would get high, I would start to think about dying, and I would cut my wrists. My parents knew I was sick and sent me to rehab, but i didn't care. I got high anyways, and because meth is out of the system in 3 days, i passed all my UA's. But then I found CMA (Crystal Meth Anonymous). It's saved my life.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 22706
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 7, 2006Views: 10,498
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Methamphetamine (37) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)

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