Citation: ElectronPusher. "Treat it Like a Loaded Gun: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp22754)". Erowid.org. Sep 27, 2006. erowid.org/exp/22754
I'll start off by saying that I am in a high-risk category for addiction to this kind of drug; fortunately, I know when something is serious and has very dangerous potential. I am a female student at a highly competitive university.
I was originally against trying this because:
(1) - I'm rather pro-psychedelic and anti-manufactured/addictive as far as controlled substances go, having previously tried only marijuana, mushrooms and alcohol,
(2) - If I found that this drug could give me an edge in my difficult and insanely competetive science classes, I didn't trust myself to sacrifice efficiency for health and a clear conscience. I'm already hooked on coffee, good lord.
(3) - I heard that this drug can cause weight loss, something that 19-year-old females including myself are usually preoccupied with, increasing the risk of becoming hooked, and ...
(4) - It's kind of ugly stuff. I mean, smoking a joint is usually a mellow and calming experience, a far cry from chopping up these strange tiny white crystals and snorting them. I felt like a sell-out from the moment the stuff entered my possession. What convinced me to try it was actually my boyfriend, who told me that I should never EVER try it because my personality and lifestyle are already too much like that of a tweaker. I had to try it because, well, curiosity killed the cat.
My roommate and I paid $50 for a tiny sack of sharp little white/clear crystals; we didn't seek it out, our friend offered the hook-up out of the blue one weekend. I felt more comfortable chopping up crystals than buying ambiguous white powder like cocaine and such; it seems more likely that the crystals are pure and not cut with anything else. She tried it first at about 9:30 at night, but I waited until I was done driving for the day just to gauge the effects of it more safely. I witnessed her behavior change about 20 minutes later without her being aware of it, but this is something that other people might not have noticed. I know her very well, and her usually calm voice became a little harsh and somewhat aggressive. She laughed more loudly and started gesturing with her hands more than usual.
When I tried it at about 1:00 that morning, I only tried a tiny bit because I didn't want to stay up all night.
As I had been instructed, I placed a dollar bill over a very small piece of the crystal (working on a flat, shiny surface; a mirror) and crushed it with the bottom of a cigarette lighter. I then chopped the pieces up more finely with my driver's license (the more finely chopped, the less my nose stings, apparantly) and used the card to form a very very skinny line of powder. I blocked my left nostril with my finger and breathed in through my right nostril through the rolled up dollar bill (creating a tube). The actual snorting is fairly unpleasant and stung; I experienced a slight nosebleed and some extra nasal secretion the following day. There was almost immediately a chemical, VERY SALTY flavor in the back of my throat, and I drank several glasses of water during the next half hour. It tasted like I had downed a shaker of Morton's, or snorted it. I had been very tired from a spring-break road trip when I first tried it, and all of a sudden my grogginess was changed into a very direct and clear focusing. It was as if my peripheral vision faded and the only important thing was my current task.
About 45 minutes into it, I was climbing all over my desk, pulling off textbooks and dusting under them. For some reason, the dust was just unbelievably thick to me and it absolutely had to be scoured off. I arranged my textbooks by size and type, cleaned my computer and keyboard, arranged my closet, and ended up going to bed at about 8 am (not by choice, I had to force myself). THIS WAS A VERY SMALL DOSE, I ended up being awake for 26 hours. I guess my first time affected me the most intensely. My hunger was indeed gone; I actually haven't eaten a full meal since we first tried the stuff (a week ago).
We haven't been doing very much, we're kind of stretching it out so we don't become addicted, and we're not doing line after line, only one per person. I had a little bit before class on Wednesday and I used my lunch break to sit and study like crazy instead of eating. After class I sat in the library and finished highlighting and outlining my reading assignments for several hours. I reasoned with myself that it is okay to enjoy this sort of motivation and productivity while it lasts, but it is NOT okay to tweak in order to study better. Instead, I try to model my focus after my experience with the speed, which actually has successfully heightened my focusing abilities. I went two days without it and was fine, the sleepiness came back a day later and was pretty rough. I didn't experience any sort of come-down, probably because our doses were so limited.
This was not a party drug. It wasn't for sh%ts and giggles, it's serious business. This was a very ugly and dangerous productivity aid that kept me awake and not feeling my body's signals like hunger or exhaustion. All I feel is focused and alert and time flies like nothing else I've ever seen. I remember that first night, staring in horror out the window as the sun came up at about 6:30 in the morning, hunched over the vacuum cleaner like a maniac.
The difference between this drug and those of the marijuana/mushroom/LSD category, in my opinion, is that healthy and normal people can use psychedelics to heighten awareness and have a beautiful experience, but there is no use in tweaking all the time except for ugly and unpleasant reasons like personal insecurity and not dealing with issues like too much stress and poor body image or whatever.
I will say that my experience was interesting and thought-provoking; I have a strong mind and self-control which I forced myself to use, I didn't notice much harm in giving it a shot and NEVER BUYING IT EVER AGAIN, once I had outlined ground rules and such for myself.
I don't recommend this to anyone younger than 18, you guys should save your curiosity for something more interesting and fun and less addictive (marijuana) because this drug is more for truck drivers who need to stay awake all night and not for young rebels just looking to have a good time. You won't enjoy your company much, mostly I was oblivious to people around me and just talked as if I was very important and profound and cleaned the hell out of my room. I was disappointed. The rules and the caution necessary to avoid addiction to tweak make me much more in favor of those good, mellow and non-addictive herbs and mushrooms. Call me a hippie if you will.
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