Citation: Theo Kaluza. "Rolled Up In The Life: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10X Extract) (exp22970)". Erowid.org. Feb 17, 2020. erowid.org/exp/22970
As usual, I kept my eyes closed. And as usual, I had Orbital playing in the background.
The usual background about myself: I'm agnostic, I'm 23, and this is the only psychadelic that I've ever truly appreciated. Acid, due to a bad experience early on in my career (first time), it never -worked- for me. Ecstacy was great the first 5 or 6 times, and then it drooped off and started to suck. Same with weed, but that took like a year.
I get the impression that this stuff can't go wrong in the long term, because it's all just me and the universe. And the universe is glad that I'm here.
the onset --
bong rips, two PACKED bowls, each hit held for 30 seconds.
I found myself falling headfirst into a bonfire in the middle of a sandy, baron area that roughly resembled a desert. Three other -- uhm, people -- were there, seemingly waiting for me to show up. As with my last trip, I was invited to join them, and this time I did. The whole scene rolled up -- everything rolled up -- and we rolled together like a huge galactic carpet, spinning faster and faster, tighter and tighter, intertwining with eachother and then coming apart only to be joined once more, only to split and come together again.
A lot of people describe a feeling of physical pressure when they're on Salvia. This is the first time that I've personally felt that, hence the whole carpet manifestation.
The music was all around us (me?). The whole time, I had the sense that I was experiencing somebody else's trip -- as if this was crafted by some upper-echelon Shaman however long ago -- an effect possibly caused by the ambient trance music.
For some reason, I got the urge to craft my own trip. To create something for somebody else to enjoy. Something said 'go for it' and the rolling stopped. Everything was still. Tranquil. But nothing was happening... I didn't know what to do next. This segwayed into a long dialogue. It seemed like I was communicating with some being. Maybe this was my trip.
At this point, I had a very long and personal discussion. Without getting into many details, the conversation turned into a 'why are we here?' talk. I was trying to come to grips with why life exists at all, but it wasn't a struggle. More or less, the conversation concluded with the following statement: The purpose of life, or the answer to the question 'why are we here' is simple. We're here to be alive. To live to make more life; and we're here to make music, and to love each other, and everything else that falls under the umbrella of 'living.'
It occurred to me that music -- or rather good music -- is a reflection of life, while writing is an interpretation and a manipulation of it. Both have their purposes. These two statements may or may not actually be true, but they sure as fuck seemed like gospel during the experience.
My girlfriend, Francesca, is very special to me. I suddenly realized how lucky it is that we could both be alive at this specific moment in time. A sense of gratefulness consumed me at the idea.
All in all, it was another great trip.
Some notes: It's becoming really hard to tell whether the 'discussion' that I had was just a stream of consciousness, or if I actually had some kind of spiritual break-thru. I've never been a spiritual guy. I don't believe in God. At one point in my life, I believed that after you die, everything simply goes away and you cease to exist. My girlfriend has also had a huge impact on the way that I view the world, since she deffinetly believes in something that isn't physical.
This stuff, this Salvia, it's making me question my whole reality. And instead of being confused or afraid or unbelieving, I'm open to the ideas.
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