Citation: BLue. "Built to Spill: An Experience with Amphetamines (exp24027)". Erowid.org. Jan 24, 2021. erowid.org/exp/24027
I've always wanted the drama of being a drug addict, until it actually happened. It started I guess the weekend of April 12 th, when I snuck over the the boys dorm late at night. I got there and ended up doing about 20mg of ridalin with my cousin and a few of our friends. I go to boarding school so it is easy to get Adderall and ridalin. That night I stayed up the entire night having the most amazing in depth conversations with people, and I watched the sunrise... I felt amazing, I realized all the beauty and weirdness in the world...I enjoyed the euporia so much that the next day I found a friend who could hook me up with 450mg of adderall. I started self subscribing, because it took away all my depression, made me social, and opened my brain like never before. I loved not being hungry because I've always struggled with eating disorders. I lost about 10 pounds, and my grades improved, I wanted to help the world and be nice to everyone...my parents and people really noticed a posative difference in me, not knowing that it was just the Adderall and not really me....My brother told me he thought I was addicted when he found out I was bumping 40mg of Adderall a day... So I started to hide it. I have now been doing this for 43 days, and everytime I have tried to stop I binge eat, become so irratable, and get really depressed, and I mean really really depressed... It just doesnt give me the same feeling, I Love Adderall so I'm not writing this letter to tell anyone not to do it, but it does fuck you over I guess.... I guess the scariest thing to me is that a drug that is so easily abused can be so easily subscribed, because I mean lets face it anyone can be 'ADD'....
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