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Freak-out -- My 'Words' Were Gone
Nutmeg & Morning Glory
by Dion
Citation:   Dion. "Freak-out -- My 'Words' Were Gone: An Experience with Nutmeg & Morning Glory (exp24494)". Erowid.org. Dec 1, 2004. erowid.org/exp/24494

 
DOSE:
4 seeds oral Nutmeg (ground / crushed)
  240 seeds oral Morning Glory (ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT: 270 lb


On my way home from work, I decided I wanted to trip tonight. I'd done Morning Glory recently and liked the experience, but I decided to try mixing it with something that might be able to 'slow down' the experience a bit (the last time, my mind raced at a frenetic pace to the point where I couldn't even keep up with my own thoughtstream). I knew nutmeg was excellent for calming, so I got some of that with the M.G. seeds. Getting everything home, I introduced 3 new fish I'd just bought into the aquarium they now share with 2 balas. Then I ground up half of my ingredients, deciding to save the rest for individual (not mixed) use later in the event I didn't like the combination trip. I got them to a fine powder, though I had to keep cleaning the nutmeg out because it would form 'clumps', I suppose because of all the wax it contains. Once powdered, I crushed the nutmeg clumps up to make sure they were powder, mixed it with the M.G. powder & put it all into a little glass. I mixed it together with as little beer as possible, and chugged.

It didn't go down too well, but I've generally got a cast iron stomach for these sort of things, and so once I got it down, it stayed down without a problem (I never get M.G. nausea, though the flavor of nutmeg sometimes makes me gag). I washed it down with some chocolate espresso, ('mocha' of a sort), phlan & cottage cheese (I'll bet some of you are gagging right now just reading that - - but generally, dairy _always_ soothes my stomach, unless it's a case of fever or something).

It didn't take long for the trip to start. About 35 minutes, and the M.G. seeds were beginning to kick in. I could tell because of the way I was beginning to get 'into' everything. With my M.G. highs, I swear I can look at anything at all and it suddenly becomes the most fascinating thing in the world... So anyway, that's how I knew _that_ was kicking in. The nutmeg started to kick in after about perhaps 2 hours, if that.

Once the nutmeg began interacting with the M.G., that's when my night of Hell began. It's the most horrible mental state I can imagine. It's like my mind was running in hyperdrive, as it usually does with M.G., but there wasn't anything _on_ it. Like a blank tape being played repeatedly between my ears - the feeling that there was some sort of 'activity' going on, but the inability to hear my own thoughts or to form coherent thoughts. All I could really do most of the night was lay on my bed, basically spazzing out. Anyone looking at me would probably have thought I was having an epileptic fit, but I was just trying to find my way back to sanity. My hands would flail around, I would thrash about struggling to stay awake and to make sense of the world again. Words, that's it... My 'words' were gone. I couldn't look at anything around me and think of it in words. It was as if I'd reverted back to some pre-lingual self. Not necessarily such a horrible state of mind, but for some reason it just scared the crap out of me and I couldn't get out of it fast enough.

When I was able to think about it hard enough, I had the sense of mind to try and 'drink' myself out of it, hoping the sweat & urine could excrete enough of the chemicals to help me find my way back to some kind of familiarity with the world. It didn't really work. At times, I tried going to sleep to see if I could escape it that way, but I couldn't no matter what. I was sweating profusely, and profoundly agitated. I half thought of going to the hospital, but I had a feeling the state would pass and I'd be okay when it was over. This nightmare lasted from about 7:30-8:00 p.m. until about 1 a.m. Then I could feel it starting to abate. Then, I could feel my words slowly falling back into place, landing with a sort of mental 'click' when I was finally able to re-associate something with its corresponding English word. I fell asleep at last around 2:30 & woke up around 9 a.m. I'm not too terribly hung over, which surprises me, but I am awfully dry. I'm trying to drink myself back to a full state of wakefulness, and as the day proceeds I'm slowly succeeding at that goal.

I'm going to do the rest of the M.G. seeds again tonight, but I think I'll just leave the nutmeg alone for awhile. I have some beer, I may try that to see if it can slow down my mind any more smoothly than the nutmeg did. If there's anything worth noting, I'll be sure & let you know! But I wanted to write this to emphatically state that at least for myself, the combination of nutmeg & M.G. seeds is NOT a very fun trip. It wasn't even 'useful' in the interpersonal sense, as without the ability to let my mind latch onto words for things, I couldn't explore any of the issues or facets of reality/myself that I normally like to explore on a trip. Had I planned for that in advance, I may have been able to find some way to 'use' such a state. But I had _no_ idea to expect that or what such a state would be like, and until I can think of ways to maneuver through mental concepts without the ability for language of any sort, such a trip can't possibly have any beneficial use.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 24494
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 1, 2004Views: 38,444
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Nutmeg (41), Morning Glory (38) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)

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