Citation: DLundstrom. "Seizures: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp24562)". Erowid.org. Jul 25, 2003. erowid.org/exp/24562
Up untill last summer the only drug that I have ever used was marujuana, but my friends wanted to try something a little more interesting. We decided that ecstacy was our ticket. After 2 successful 'rolls,' we had planned on a 3rd. The name of our pills that night were white Chenielles. Almost everyone else took 2 pills, I took one, but I took mine differently than everyone else, and I believe it almost cost me my life. I cut my pill in half, crushed half into powder and poured it on my toung took a sip of water and let it dissolve and absorb mostly under the tounge, then swallowed the other half of the pill. 35 minutes after consumption I began to get that familiar and pleasant urge to get up and 'do' something. No one else was feeling anything. My head felt clear, my body yearned to run a marithon, and then maybe a good bike ride. I started walking around my appartment, talking to my friends, laughing at jokes, and passing a few pieces around for smoking and admiring. I started getting excited waiting for someone else to join my state of mind.
2 of the smaller girls that were there started feeling their pills kick in, this was about 50 minutes after consumption. 20 minutes go by and everyone is starting to feel good. The music was playing, everyone was talking and having a great time, and all of a sudden my whole world seemed to slip from me. Luckily I was standing in front of my couch because I just lost all reason to stand up. I sat down next to my friend B and I said, 'Im Done.' He asked me what I meant, and I told him my roll was over. He said, 'Dont worry, it will come back, that happens.' If only that was the case, but it never came back, instead, I just sat there for 15 minutes doing absolutly nothing. Thoughts started going through my head like, why am I even here, what is the point in being here, I dont want to be here... Then for no reason, I leaned over and rested my head on B's shoulder, he asked everyone else what was happening and they told him it should be ok, I was sleeping and to just let me be.
Approximatly 3 minutes later my body started shaking starting with my head and moving to my arms, torso, legs and feet. B was startled and got everyone's attention they watched my for awhile, trying to figure out what was going on. The shaking calmed a little but constant tremoring kept everyone else uneasy. During this time I remember feeling very cold and stiff, in my mind, even though I was out, I felt scared. Still shaking, B and my boyfriend helped my to my bedroom and put me on my bed. B stayed with me for awhile holding my hand and that was the most important thing of all. While I was unconscience and shaking, I felt myself slipping away, I felt as though I were dying, I was being pulled away to the portal like center which seemed to have every color being slowly pulled into it. I dont know if it was because B maybe squeezed my hand, or if it was because I was shaking so hard, but I felt B's hand and suddenly I subconsciously knew that someone was there, and that single thought seemed to bring me back.
I opened my eyes and saw B, He looked so worried, all I did was whisper 'thank you'. Sleep overcame me for 3 hours and when I woke up my head hurt severely on the left side and my body seemed to be slightly delayed in movement especially on the right side. I went out to see what was going on. I had no concept of what time it was or even what day or month it was. Everyone met me instantly and fussed over me. of course by this time everyone was near the end of their peak and were still in the 'caring mode.' they took care of me and did their best to keep me comfortable. after everyone had left 4 hours later, I went to sleep and didnt wake up for 13 hours. The day after I felt Depressed, but in a way renewed, depressed because I had crashed badly on MDMA, yet renewed because I felt I had defeated death. I decided at that moment that I would never do MDMA again.
This experience happened a year ago. Nowadays, I still have seizures at night, I know this because my boyfriend will tell me if he notices me shaking at night, and this usually corresponds with the times I wake up with a headache on the left side, and sometimes numb limbs. They are few and far between, yet constant enough to remind that these are the consequences of my actions. Now, I seem unmotivated at times, I get discouraged easily, and sometimes fear or reject other people. I feel that Ecstacy has changed my life immensely. I do not say that ecstacy is a bad drug, but if you use it unwisely the consequences you pay may not be worth it in the end. This is a message to all: If you must use, Use wisely.
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