DOSE:

10 g

oral

Syrian Rue

(seeds)

BODY WEIGHT:

57 kg

Well, this is few years ago but these experiences do not fade away from my memories like many things do. I had had very hard year with alcohol which had taken control after broken relationship. Although I had some nice times it took a heavy toll. Before this experience there had been a couple quite dry months. This was not my first active experience with Peganum harmala, previously I had tried Harmala five to ten times during the last 6 years, I had mixed it with different DMT-containing plants. Some of the experiments were merely boosting shrooms or acid so it doesn't count into my Harmala-brain-box.

I live in southern Finland. I had took the seeds with me to a cottage away from the city along with some apple juice. It was winter and outside was maybe -15°c, it was just before christmas. The cottage was an ideal place, it had been tested under influence of acid and 'shrooms. This time I was alone. When night had fallen I took one teaspoon of seeds and sorted the small rocks away and started chewing the bitter bits of passage to the upper world. After four teaspoons I was feeling something strange, it was like having very heavy limbs and at the same time I had the power to make quick moves with no loss of coordination. When I had ingested six teaspoons of seeds – chewing them all in my mouth to haste the becoming. Later I really wondered how did I do it?!

When one hour had passed I entered into a state of telepathic network like many times before. There I would lay down and watch the never-ending swirl of information washing my head to its clearest. After that came the intensified body feelings, the energy and the heaviness were both there and I couldn't stay still. I took off my clothes and started banging a bucket lying on the floor with a ladle. With carrying a bucket in my one hand and ladle in my other I sang a non-coherent endless sentence of unknown origin. I danced outside without shoes in the snow and puked a couple times making strange sounds. I had been made into a transmitter of cosmic voice and I was carried out of the cage of life where all the regular games and cosmologies take place. For me the truth was of a red-blue network of information where bright flashes told the direction. And I could move in the darkness without hurting myself.

After running in and out of the ecottage several times vomiting pleasurably everytime I decided to put on the radio and I - for some very unexplainable reason - thought I would like to hear Phil Collins' I Wish It Would Rain Down (maybe the name does it) and surprise, surprise, when I turned the radio on there was just beginning the above mentioned song on a radio station I didn't choose. What a strange coincidence… after I had listened to it some time I turned the radio off and proceeded with my purification dance and chanting. My strength was declining, however, so I wrote a phreaky text message with my cellular phone to my friend which she thanked me for later.

Suddenly it was over! I can't explain how I passed out but after that I was in a super mood for two months. It felt like being abroad for a month or something. Later I've done a couple experiments per year but they have been disrupted by too large amounts of people and some of their 'no respect' - attitude to fasting and general discomfort with vomiting - which for me is one of the central aspects of the whole experience. I couldn't do it anymore if I had to keep it inside. The idea of purification for me is to let everything come out and leave the pure being existing, very much like composing serious music or painting profound art.

Without pain there is no gain and Harmala is very good teacher on the subject I think. The fun in the whole thing is the very benign afterglow that goes on several weeks or even months after the experience, the experience itself being a brain-stressing swirl of everything-that-comes-into-mind-in-one-moment accompanied with feelings of clarity and dark-coloured smoky vision with bright flashes of starlight here and there. I once drank huasca made of Harmala and D.illinoensis in the daylight and the visionary field of sunny day in forest changed dramatically into dark black nightly forest with fog drifting along after a long puff of super-strong indian tobacco. It really does not work right if the surroundings are not calm and peaceful and it can't be shared with an outsider at the moment it's happening because most of the communication is made through thinking.
Peace 4 All. Touch the Light.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 24622
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 25, 2004	Views: 31,515
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Syrian Rue (45) : Alone (16), General (1)