Citation: Nate. "I Died Tonight, and I'll Do It Again Soon: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp26099)". Erowid.org. Jan 2, 2004. erowid.org/exp/26099
||(powder / crystals)
I must warn you right off the bat, I may not include everything I had intended, I just hit the back key when almost done with this experience, and I lost everything written, needless to say it was quite irritating.
A few days ago my friend ordered some 5-MeO-DMT off the internet from a research company. He looked on this site and decided it was probably the biggest bank for the bank as far as legal drugs are concerned, he purchased 100mg for 30$. Tonight I talked to him and he said it came, and it was insane. I told him we should get some cannabis and go to the graveyard a few minutes away and watch the meteor shower, which was supposed to be happening all week. When he arrived he walked in with a grin, and I asked him if he was on anything, but he said nope, that he had died today. My ears perked up, and he explained that 5-MeO-DMT was actually the drug released in your body in large amounts when you die, and he wouldn't doubt it if it was actually what death felt like. [Erowid Note: Pineal gland and DMT researcher Rick Strassman has theorized that DMT -- not 5-MeO-DMT -- may be released at the moment of death.]
That made me extremely curious, because what is the ultimate unknown, the ultimate point of no return, there is none other then death.
He began talking about the friends he had tried it with today. These friends were experienced, they had taken many hallucinogens, including LSD, DXM, mushrooms, and salvia. He said this topped all of them in their minds. That is hard to believe, prior to this night things like LSD and mushrooms were not something I'd consider in the bounds of my drug use. How fitting that we go to a graveyard to smoke ourselves into death. He took about a 10mg dose, smoked, and began to sweat quite a bit, like he said he would. He just sat there, not really in or out of reality, and I just watched, after a few minutes a few words were exchanged, and I found it all rather amusing. I decided I would try it, because up to this point my experienced with drugs had been limited to alcohol, cannabis, salvia, and with DXM on the horizon as far as prospects go. Just then a car pulled up, so we had to jet back to his place.
We got there, and he loaded up the rest of what was left, about 10mg, the same sized dose he had taken, on a burnt bowl of weed (nothing left, just something to hold the powder substance). We didn't prepare much, we had just eaten, but he said vomiting never seemed to be a problem, we did go to the bathroom but nothing other than that. Just a nice comfortable chair and a little bit of techno on the stereo. I smoked it just like a hit of weed, not holding it in for a long time, probably because by the time I was about ready to let it out, it came on. That fast.
At first It just feels like a wave, not abrupt but definately fast. I felt tension in my upper face, the kind I feel in my face after laughing quite a bit for a long period of time. Next was a feel of pressure on my forehead. It felt in between a headache, that wasn't painful, and someone actually pushing against my head from inside my skull. Then it was just nothing but intensity, nonstop thought, but not thoughts, just thought. My mind created at an undiscernable rate, I couldn't pick one part from the next, but the thoughts themselves were not even anything logical. It was just like being smashed with feelings, negative if I was to say either way. It feels like you're going to die. Like your mind is a hand trying to palm a basketball, but it just can't quite reach enough hold on to it. Then it felt like my mind took a big sigh, and I leaned back for a moment, just as my friend had done in the graveyard.
After a few minutes, but what seemed shorter, I started to come down, slowly. I slowly soothed down, and at first I felt on top of the world. I felt like nothing bad could happen, and if it did I wouldn't care. Everything I did was intense, thinking itself FELT intense. Movement, blinking, I noticed everything. It was a wonderful feeling, I loved it personally, but I could see how some people may not. I didn't have any real visuals, and despite music being played, I didn't really notice sounds. This feeling slowly dwindled down over the next 30-45 minutes, I just conversed with my friend about the feeling, about the astonishment of how intense it was, and the fact that things can even be like that. I told him then and there if that had not been the end of it, I would have smoked the rest.
From then until now, about 1:30 post trip, my taste has been enhanced, and there is still that lingering feeling in my head. Just barely noticeable. This jar of jelly beans I've been digging out of was extremely good, and the first bite was always a taste sensation, I didn't seem to get 'bored' with the food which can sometimes happen. The come down induced thought, I didn't come to any amazing conclusions, but thoughts were produced quickly and clearly, and also with much ease.
I'm quite a rookie when it comes to drugs, but I'd like to think now I'm not. From now on I think I may be going other places with drugs, but as far as intensity is concerned I've reached a limit I want to, I actually stood on that limit and beat the living shit out of it, and kept walking in that 10 minutes before I started to come down. I don't think at any point anything would have really affected the trip. Music, empty stomach/full, hot/cold, I don't think these things would have mattered. If I was to make one recommendation it would just be to have a comfortable spot for that moment when you're mind takes a deep breath, because it will be worth it.
Afterwards my friend and I realized that because this drug is relatively unknown, no one really has a name for the act doing it, some people suggested smoking Nike's, like you're smoking a pair of Nike's. Instead, I'll just tell people I'm going to or have just died. I loved dying, and I may die harder next time.
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