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Looking Back
Morning Glory
by Otherworldtraveler
Citation:   Otherworldtraveler. "Looking Back: An Experience with Morning Glory (exp26524)". Erowid.org. May 3, 2006. erowid.org/exp/26524

 
DOSE:
  oral Morning Glory (seeds)

BODY WEIGHT: 185 lb


Earlier this summer I underwent several experiences in a short amount of time with Morning Glory Seeds. I usually payed good attention to set, setting, and personal mood with 1 or 2 exceptions which I'll discuss. I did way more Morning Glory trips in a small amount of time then is reccomended, but none the less I'm glad I had the experiences, and came out of them more aware of the fabric of life, if not unable to look at the world the same way again. Although I'm done with the magic seeds for a while maybe I'll resume use next year during summer once I've given my mind time to integrate the experiences, answer all the 'what does it all mean?'s.

Anyway, I had what I remember as 8 trips in a 2 month period. I used them far too much with a Magical Mystery Tour attitude when they are much more of a 'Within You Without You' drug. Now my considerable excess aside, I'd like to detail my experiences with the seeds.

Trip 1: 2 grams of pearly gates

This first trip was just to get an idea of what the seeds were like. I soon found them to be the worst tasting filth on the face of the planet. I only managed to finish about a third of the second bag I had bought. After eating the seeds I realized the reports were probably more accurate then I thought they were as I soon felt intense naseau, which I've never had a problem with using other drugs, including shrooms and heavy amounts of dxm. So anyway I was mentally terrified of the naseau, my impression was that I had been poisoned. I had read that some companies put chemicals on the seeds to prevent ppl from trying to consume them. That's just like human mis-evolution as I like to call it, take away a spiritual sacrememnt of a people and commericalize it for my profit, well making sure they can't partake in their sacrement because they'll be poisoned.

I checked the bag I had bought and when I realized that no where on there did it read the seeds had chemicals on them, I felt greatly relieved, and began to accept the naseau as a natural side affect of the drug. This was about an hour into the trip and I had the White Stripes playing. Not good music for an Morning Glory trip. So they accompanied me as my background as I self-induced heavy puke. I immediately began to feel better and noticed when I closed my eyes I had beautiful colored visuals, although not very vivid.

What really startled me was the fact that my visions took on motion. Whereas I usually imagined things in the back of my mind as still frames, and on weed in the fron of my mind as still frames. These appeared to be directly ahead in my field of vision as movies from my subconcious. Other then the vivid CEV's I didn't notice any outward visuals exept that I was very aware of different hues of color and shadows. I decided at this point the white stripes weren't cutting it anymore and put on some nick drake, two leaves left. This worked a lot better and I started to realize how directly every piece of our world affects everything else. Well I loved rocking out and dancing and feeling free and energized to the stripes, nick drake transcended my mind to distant landscapes I didn't recall seeing. Probably built by my imagination as portraits of my collected experiences up to this point.

So I decided to walk around my town and take in the sites. My friend G called and I met him for a bite before took the train downtown. He asked if I was high and not wanting to explain my idea to try the seeds I simply told him yeah I had toked up. He said he'd like to help me finish it off but had to be going. At this point as I walked around the downtown area of my chicago burb I started to think about the psychological reasoning for things being the shape they are. I wasn't thinking about things in spatial effieciency at all. Everything had a spiritual reason. I thought about how squares didn't occur very much naturally in nature and mankind used them so often in their structres, because they liked to have things in segmented blocks of either time or categorical blocks so they could better understand them. When really in it's subconcious, humanity as a whole longed to be circular. Complete. To be able to understand every level of perception at the current time within themselves well also understanding how this gelled with past experiences and perceptions to paint their inner potrait as it were.

I only speak about this ideaology and very doors of perception like philosophy because this trip was extremely mental and spiritual and subsequent trips would be much more visual and overall trippy. Later trips would be more phantasmagoric and less psychadelic as it were. Of course in my heaviest trip I would realize, not just understand, but realize life is infinite. Other then my final and largest trip and this trip however, the trips were mostly exploring life on a spiritual level as infinite and not so much transcending to new levles of thinking. So, I went home after pondering greatly mans subconcious reasoning that even he does not understand behind his actions, and possibly mans lack of understanding his un and sub conciouses being the reason for much of mans error. I went home, put on, ironically, without thinking about the connection, What's the Story Morning Glory by Oasis, and drifted off into sleep.

Trip 2: 7.5 grams of heavenly blue

My next trip, very excitied about the door I grasped the handle of but did not open my last trip, I took almost 4 times as many seeds and of course in my excitement to expand my conciousness, ignored set and setting. I also did heavenly blue instead of pearly gates, which, I later learned, have a much greater lsa concentration then pearly gates. So I was blown away when within 10 minutes of throwing up (I did this everytime I ate seeds immediately after the neasea came on) I began to see images from my mind, not vividly, but vaugeley projected in the environment around me, like my environment was mirroring my subconcious. I no longer had to even step inside my head to look at my subconcious, I could experience it as if in a dream. I was shot with the most beautiful physical jolt of life when this trip came on. I put on Sgt. Peppers by the beatles and during mr. kite, well laying on my bed with my arms stretched out grasping my bed post behind me, got the physical sensation that I was expanding with my room (visually, walls expanding and contracting is almost always true of mg trips)However, when my friends R and M called and wanted to come over and smoke some bud and I obliged, things began to get bad.

I explained to them that if I was acting as if in another plane of reality it's because I was. I then realized my mom was coming home later that day. So when they wanted to light up I told them they couldn't as I'd rather not smoke in my mom's house, it's the thing that really sets her off, when I smoke weed at her house, otherwise she's not really understanding, but accepting of my mary jane use. Anyway I started to see things invert back and forth betwee there actual selves and the selves proported by my mind. It was hard to act normal well this was going on, but soon they stopped inverting and I sank into a heavy trip. So I told R and M I was sorry but they would have to go. My mom then came home.

Surpisingly I found it very easy to put on my cloak of normal, instinctual, blinded, escapist human being around her. She didn't seem to suspect anything and though I kept my guard up, paranoia was suprisingly low. She asked me to mow the lawn and since I had not really noticed a disimprovement in motor skills or general body coordination the last time I tripped I decided why not. Bad idea. The grass was, in my mind, asking me not to kill it. I understood that it was my open mind making me reconsider killing grass as it is a living thing and never slipped into complete insanity, but it was unnerving to hear them scream in pain as I mowed the lawn, to say the least. I then called my friend C who is very straight and level-headed, but none the less my best friend. I decided it'd be healthy to ride my trip out at his house well jamming (were in a band together).

No sooner do we get to his house then my mom calls and is talking very dissapointingly to me about how R and M have apparently showed up and M is acting very stoned and they're looking for her binder. She didn't believe when I told her I hadn't smoked weed and that I hadn't let them smoke in the house (this was true but, none the less, I was full of bullshit, I was being plastic) she angrily hung up on me and I told C I couldn't bear jamming anymore, all the music, which had at first sounded like beautiful sunrises and other images in my subconcious in music form, now made vauge lightning crash around me. My trip was kicking in full form and it had jsut taken a train wreck. I consider myself to be a stable person and normally I can work trhough anything within myself, but on MG's, well not able to talk to my mother. I began to feel like I was being seperated from her. Like I was being disowned. I got images in my mind of me flying down a mine shaft in a mine cart screaming my head off, away from a mountain where my mothers face was imprinted, crying.

Again I understood this is a drug that shows me in a very affecting way the truth inside me, but this was too much to bear. I fell into an overpowering sadness, and sat on C's couch for a good hour well he played snood or something just staring at different things, half of me amused at the forms they were taking, half of me terrfied at their implications about what was happening to me emotionally. I felt a huge empty. I never got pyschotically delusional, but very sad and felt as though I had been away from my mother for 40 years, and really just wanted to go home and hug her and have everything be ok. My friend's dog turned into a gargoyle, my friend morphed into a tree and I saw lightning striking through him, the walls bled. This was my first bad experience on mg's.

That night I felt empty and terrible. I had never told C I was on mg's although he was aware I was somewhat of a pothead. He just kept asking me if I was ok, and I kept saying no, I feel empty. He tried normal human ways of cheering me up, but I had tranformed into a neo-human, a mind being vehicled around by this body. I often felt like this on mg's. Just as I experienced beauty on the very visual free trips on a level that transcends the human experience, and just as I experienced enlightenment on pleasant philisophical trips on a level that transcends the normal human mind ability to comprehend, I experienced hurt on a level that no human can understand. Because the hurt from one moment was experienced and reverberated for the remaining 6 hours of the trip. I handled it and came out all right, and me and my mom made up the next day, but it shook me to the core and made me realize the power, both for good and for bad, of these seeds.

Trip 3: 9 grams of pearly gates

This next trip was an excellent one. I figured although my last experience was unpleasant, that I should not run from this power, I should embrace it and let it take me to a beautiful shore of understanding, out of the abyss I had sank into. If the wave had the power to drown me, it also had the power to life me up I thought. And I was right. I downed 9 grams of pearly gates, puked only mildly and then set off to explore my suburban town in a whole new light. Although not very visual, this trip held a very strong Alice In Wonderland theme mentally for me. I played pretend like a little 4 year old, I met up with my friend L and we pretended all man made invention was from the land of machines and they were slowly closing in on and destroying the magical forest that once was this land(suprisingly accurate actually). To fight the machine army we met with faries (I didn't actually see any I just imagined them as being there and I acutally almost mentally thought they were), talked to wise trees and ocassionally had to act like a droid ourselves to buy supplies for the magical army(we got food from 711).
Needless to say this was a blast and not once did we feel self concious about playing pretend.

When I got home I turned on the white album. This was the only mildly visual part of a trip. I danced to much of the album and at Revolution 9 I decided the happiness this trip had borught me was to be tested. The evil machine cyclones had invaded my stereo and were trying to make me empty through Revolution 9. The furniture in my living room morphed into terrible monsters and the walls crashed in on me. Although at one point I asked L to hold my hand so I'd feel safe, I made it through, and the usually hilariously odd good night song following it sounded like the most beautiful music I had ever heard. After this I started to come down and fell into deep, beautiful sleep. I awoke the next deciding my theory was true these seeds had power, the direction of the power was up to the world and my connection to self and it.

Trip 4: 5 grams of heavenly blue

This trip isn't much to talk about. Basically, I decided these seeds are not at all good for parties. I did them at a party and wanted nothing more then to lay around and watch my mind bend the world to it's will, however tons of ppl who didn't understand the difference between my condition and being high were asking me if I wanted to watch yellow submarine so I eventually gave in. I enjoyed it thouroughly but then eventually nodded off into sleep. I had beautiful vivid dreams that unlike most did not tell any sort of story but was simply comprised of flowing colors taking new shapes as new thoughts crossed my mind. This is the first time I noticed the sensation of audio dreams, something I had never had before using morning glory seeds but still have now 2 months after use. I can vividly here people talking in my dreams. it's not voices I don't recongnize. its people i know saying things i have heard before usually, but they are vivid and clear and i remember hearing them vividly. so beyond that not much to talk about for this trip. it was the last time I tried mg tripping in a big group of people.

Trip 5: 4.5 grams of pearly gates

This trip was probably the least visual of all my trips. Me and my friend B and E went to the art institute and looked at the paintings, B ate three bags with me but E didn't partake as shes terrified of weed, much less something this psychadelically active. the pictures appeared to being moving sometimes when they weren't, much like in the harry potter movie, and sometimes the paintings would obviously expand towards me off the wall, not a surpising occurance. While listening to octupouses garden and lying under the sky at grant park, I got the sensation that the sky was the top of the water and i was underwater. then I though about what the universes top of the water is. yet another shining example of how life becomes painfully clear as infinite to me on mg's. this is not an illusion of the drug. this is truth. my open mind on mgs never showed me anything but truth. the only times i had trouble handling it was when the truth was emotionally troubling.

All in all I felt happy all day and had fun coordinating ants marching by dmb to the hustle and bustle of down town chicago, everyone passing up 1000 oppurtunities a day to get lost in someone beautiful. people in every direction, no words exchanged, no time to exchange. morning glories have shown me time is relative, we have time for whatever we want time for. this is also the danger of the drug and why this is not human beings natural state of concious, survival is grossly limited when all I'm doing is spacing out thinking about the cosmos all day. I also came to realize on this trip how everything man has made, this society, all of it, is just a reflection of elements of nature, that we've built so we can manipulate and manage it. it's like our natural desire to create gone haywire, it stems from people asking how they create before why they should create. we can make a bomb that can do that? how? well anyway, well it was a very beautiful experience there's not much to put on paper.

Trip 6: 10 grams of heavenly blue

I think I may have been to tired and happy and already aware of the ultimate truth (life being infinite) to make any realizations on this trip, however it was the most visually intense one i had. the walls breathed with the music, everyone had an aura, I could see spider webs being spun underneath people's facial expressions, my vision often spiraled and well inside the room often took on a circular shape. I got vauge outlines of tunnel vision very often and overall just had a beautiful, fun time. the subconcious projector affect was full force, id read the movie times in the paper and then see them on my wall 2 minutes later. the more i spaced out, the crazier things got. a shirt hanging off the end of my bed became a rolling hill in the distance, and my friends hand resting on it, the sun, which is why, when the sun began to shot at me, I was so very confused. then i tuned in and realized what was happening. this is the best part of morning glories as opposed to say shrooms, they are showing me truth and I can experience it on whatever concious level I want to, embrace or debrace it as much as I wish. there are no sudden, unexpected out of no where vivid visual hallucinations, its me exploring my mind.

We were listening to abbey road and revolver (ive found tommarow never knows to be the ultimate mg tripping song, and the beatles to be the ultimate mg band). we, me and my friend S, basically just sat up in my room and spaced out. I saw many visuals although I found them all to be illusion or explainable projections of my subconcious that were very vauge (the illusions were more vivid). it wasnt like shrooms whered id see a pink rabbit that wasn't there and so on. it's a very beautiful enlightening and comprehendable experience in the right circumstances.I remember driving with s to go to my house ( he hadn't eaten yet and he was driving, I think I've always been very sensible about these thing, a 2-ton vehicle drove by a not-self is a bad idea). anyway, I was already tripping, and i felt like possibly are car was still and the world was passing us by, I then realized that in relation to our minds, this was true. waht terrible inventions cars were. other then that, this trip was all space out and beauty. probably on the whole my second most enjoyable trip. the most enjoyable being....

Trip 7: 12.5 grams of heavenly blue

I decided (incorrectly) that this would be my last mg trip for a long while as the planting season was coming to a close and this was the end of my stash, so I wanted to make it the best yet. Sadly I spent this trip pretty much by myself, besides phone conversations with a few close friends (E, B, and C for example). not to worry though, Ive never felt bad experiencing beautiful things by myself and often would toke alone and jus write songs. so, after eating the seeds well listening to radiohead ok computer and allman bros band eat a peach, I did the normal barfing ritual. I barfed a lot this time. no worries though, I had good times to look forward to. to be honest I dont remember most of the trip as it was all space out and just getting in touch with the images that had formed in my head centered around certain people or ideas. however, one moment I do remember vividly is when I was showering. I had the tub plug in so well I sat there and relaxed there was an affect where the shower head water was bouncing off of the resting pool of tub water.

I spaced out looking directly over this water as I let the showerhead run over my head. I could see all the little particles of water within the other particles of water and I watched the water flowing slowly morph into a supernova as if in happening in space. then I saw how everything was connected. then I finally realized, not only understood, but realized life as being infinite and somehow connected on every level. as if it was an endless white when zoomed in comprised of endless beautiful colors. At that moment I had a physical, spirtual and emotional sensation all at once of rebirth, of becoming a new me as I do every moment but for once I actually experienced the change in the moment all at once and managed to just keep going. This is the circular flow people hope to reach and I experienced it for one moment of my life. So after that some other pretty trippy but certainly less spirtually mindblowing things happened. First off my feet and legs sank into the wall parallel to where I was resting my head in the tub well I was lying down. also I began for the first time to get definate synthenasia like my acid head friend L always talks about.

I listened to dear prudence and could see john lennons voice. not like my mind procured a visual for the song but I was actually percieving sound through my eyes. next i got the same thing with smell through my mouth. if I smelled a flower well I drank coke I could taste the flower, and it tasted beautiful. I spent pretty much the rest of my trip fooling around with that amazing sensation. I also fell into a dream state for the last 2 hours of the main portion of my trip. overall ranking among the greatest experiences spiritually of my life.

trip 8 (the last trip to date, 2 motnhs ago): 15 grams of heavenly blue

I was visiting my sister and decided to pick up as many heavenly blue morning glory seeds from the local garden shop as I could for my train ride home. it was an 6 hour train ride so if I ate them an hour before I left I figured it would b perfect timing for my mom to pick me up from the train station. this was definately the last one, I thought, even if I find more seeds this will be the last one I do for a while. I just needed one more taste of that o so beautiful synthenasia and hedonistic rebirth then id move on. however I didn't get that at all on this trip. I was on the train witha bunch of strangers and the lady across from me was eying me suspiciously, probably because my pupils were dilated out of their sockets.

I felt trapped in the train, constrained, I had to look out on all this country and fields that I thought would look beautiful. but my instinctual non-mental self wanted not just to observe them and ponder their significance in the overall scheme of things, but to run through them and smell their flowers. this unfufillable desire became the bane of my trip. my discman which was keeping me pleasant with wilco-being there ( I felt this would b perfect for hedonistic rebirth sensation I aimed to achieve) until it ran out of batteries. uh-oh. now enter hell. the passengers on the train, all rambling on cell phones about empty matters all apprehensive to smile when they no they should because they're subconciously aware something's missing, a concious understanding of the fabric of life is missing.

I looked at them and began to cry (literally) when the lady behind me asked me what was wrong I could only respond how do people become so empty. elanor rigby kicked on very vividly in my head. then, something extremely disturbing that I will never forget happened. I began to see things visually as through the eyes of someone who saw everything at its core. the fields in the distance became one giant flower flowing with light. I was lost in this for a few minutes...before i turned to look at the people in the train car. they had all taken on the look of human corpses. dead, skin peeling, pale white faces, ocassionally they invert into looking skeletal. the troubling part was their eyes and facial expressions remained as real and human as ever. I imagined the chairs they rested their heads on as tombstones, when I went to the club car to buy a hot dog, I got the physical sensation of the money burning a hole in my had, then my hand melted, my hand had dissapeared.

I was beggining to go frantic, so I went as quickly as possible to the bathroom. all the peoples words between each other and on their phones sounded as though all blended together into 'help me' when in the bathroom I felt myself become an old man, I looked at my fingers and they looked particularly wrinkled, I looked at my leg hairs and they were grey, standing up on end and I felt cold. when I looked in the mirror, I was relieved to find that I looked tan and breathing and alive. I love myself, I thought. im living this life. im ok, i just need to help others transcend theyre empty pseudo-human societal existance. on my way back to my seat, the people still looking like corpses, I saw an old couple holding hands and smiling at each other they slowly morphed into young, beautiful, people. this made me smile as I returned to my seat. a girl got on at the next stop around my age and asked if she could sit with me. she told me her name but I really don't remember it now. she was from madison, wisconsin. we talked a lot of normal teenager bs and I was doing my best to think along the lines of the normla blinded human.

she started to pick up on something being up, so I told her what was going on. surpisingly instead of freaking out or being scared of me, she told me she knows kids who do shrooms a lot and asked if it was the same deal. I said no not really, and explained I had finally had another 'bad trip' and this one was much harder to deal with, last time I had C and now I was alone, so alone. I flet cold and old and dying all over. She said it's ok she'd talk to me and stay sitting there and she went on to ask me why I do drugs and all that and what ones ive done. she seemed very interested in a pleasant sort of way, which was so refrshing, after we were done talking about drugs and got through a few of my deeply analytical sarte-esque what is the universe rants she said something along the lines of wow your pretty smart.

I think she found me attractive or charasmatic or something and this made me gald she didn't have the eyes i had right now, where everyone was percieved as they really are in the flow of life. she'd see what a fragile old man i am on the inside right now. I told her about this affect and how it was the first time this had happened. she was really interested in that too. all in all we mustve talked about life in general for 2 more hours, and i started to realize that she actually didn't look like a corpse (maybe she had before I really couldn't remember, the important thing was she is now, now that I know her), however she did look odd, she ocassionaly would take on the form of a sunflower, her face in the middle. obviously i made a really huge connection to her, she may have saved me from insanity. synthenasia kicked in there somewhere too.

I could taste her and smell her. she made me taste vanilla and smell apple. if life was this affecting, i told her, people wouldn't be able to numb themselves to it and block it out and be blind, and we would have to work together with nature and ourselves to find peace, otherwise we would have horrific experience, not jus simple human sadness, but oceans of seperration and cold lonliness. I wondered why didn't experience life in these ideal eyes. i told her how happy she had made me and at this she said she wanted to stretch her legs a little so we went to the club car. there me and her talked music, she listened to really terrible music, but it didn't seem to matter, she had shown me affection and gotten my through one of the worst experiences of my life, so when my stop came I gave her a hug and she obliged and said goodbye and that she'd like to see me again sometime when i was straight, I laughed at this and said who knows. at this I disembarked off the train and met up with my mom. by this time I was down, but the train hadnt taken me from my sisters to chicago. it had taken me to another universe of perception and back,a nd the girl from madison was the conductor. however I was freaked out enough with that experience that I don't plan on doing the seeds again for about a year.

I do want to do them again because of all the truth they have shown me. I get small, predominantly pleasant flashback episodes every now and then where the walls will move and what not. every second of terror was worth it just to experience. there is a dark side to this life as well, it was simply me experiencing it. and the beauty so heavily outweighed the terror.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 26524
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: May 3, 2006Views: 30,108
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Morning Glory (38) : Various (28), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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