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Retrospective Beauty
2C-C & MDMA
by Matt Himself
Citation:   Matt Himself. "Retrospective Beauty: An Experience with 2C-C & MDMA (exp26574)". Erowid.org. Sep 2, 2003. erowid.org/exp/26574

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DOSE:
T+ 0:00
50 mg oral 2C-C
  T+ 1:15 1 tablet oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb


Substances – 2C-C and MDMA
Experience – second time with 2C-C, third with MDMA
Setting – my basement

August 29th, 2003

For this report I am going to have to give a little background info:

I had just graduated high school in June. I hadn’t really let the realization of college set in until now. I was suddenly watching my friends disappear. They were all heading off to different parts of the country to get their educations. I had been a slacker all through high school, so I would be attending the local community college. As friends were leaving they would all report back with the wonderful times they were having in the dorms of college. With the exception of my girlfriend “R” and a few other friends, whom I had not really spent much time with, I was on my own.

For the first time in my life, I really felt alone. During this time, my friends who had left seemed to making little effort to make contact with me. I was beginning to wonder if all of my friends needed me as much as I needed them. I was beginning to feel unnecessary in my group, as though I was only there when it was convenient. I thought these feelings were unjust, and that I was simply handling the situation poorly. I have never been one who cared for change. I felt a good strong trip might be just what the doctor ordered to work through this ordeal.

Now, to decide what medicine to use:

I had used methylone a few nights before. I thought methylone, given its introspective qualities that I saw, might be the perfect drug to take. I decided against it though, as I had just used it a few nights before, and while I didn’t worry about a physical tolerance, I feared that a mental tolerance might get in the way of any work I could do.

I remembered my previous encounter with 2C-C. It had been a mild one, but still one that I found quite malleable. Perhaps if I increased my dose from the last time I used it, I might be able to go deeper. I then remember that I had a single pill of MDMA lying around. I searched Erowid for reports on the combination, but did not find any results. I decided that it would probably be relatively safe considering many people mix 2C-B with MDMA, and 2C-B and 2C-C are very similar chemically (NOTE: making assumptions such as this is not recommended). Might I also add that with the exception of marijuana and nitrous oxide, I have never mixed psychedelics.

I settled on a dose of 50mg of 2C-C, which I hoped would be a decently strong dose. I planned to take the pill about 1-2 hours in, depending how I was feeling. After having all of this decided, I got things ready and went out for the night. Tonight was to be the night where I would have to say goodbye to one of my best friends; the one who I’d been with for 10 years now. I knew it would be a sad night.

The report:

I spent most of the night at my friend’s house with R and a few others. He said we had to leave at 11:45 PM because he needed to wake up early. I had brought a packet containing 50mg of 2C-C. At 11:30 PM I mixed it into a small amount of orange soda. I quickly took the drink down. The taste was bad, but just as I had remembered it. I poured some soda into the same cup, and drank that down, in case some 2C-C had lingered behind. My stomach had some food in it, but not enough where I thought it would slow absorption.

I left my friend’s house a few minutes before 11:45 PM. I had to drive myself home, which was about two miles from his house. Normally, I don’t like to drive with drugs in my system, but I knew 2C-C took longer than 10 minutes to begin effecting me (NOTE: while it didn’t matter this time, I do not recommend this activity anytime after a drug has entered your body). R had followed me home and planned to stay with my until 12:30 AM. She was more worried than usual. She always worries about me tripping, but worries more knowing I am mixing MDMA with the 2C-C. I assure her to not worry, but she still does.

It was around 12:10 AM when I got my first signs of the drug. The room seemed to shimmer a bit, and I began to want to explain what I was feeling, as I always do when tripping around R. She seems to relax seeing as how I am feeling good. I just sit and talk with her until 12:30 AM rolls around, when she has to leave. I take this moment to look around the room. I am now noticing patterning on the carpet and walls. I am amazed how this crept up on me so fast. My headspace is changed, but nothing to strong mentally yet. I would say at this point I am already at a +2.

When I take R outside and say goodnight I get a chance to look at Mars in the sky. The red planet is closer than it has been in a long time I’m told. The little glowing red dot in the vast black sky makes me feel not so alone in the world. Despite the nice cool night air, I head back in.

I make way for my basement again. The visuals are yet again getting stronger. My stair case bends in such a way I need to hold the walls to keep from tumbling. Yet there is still little mental change. I make it down to my computer and go online. I talk to a friend online and lay out my experiment for the night. He wishes me luck with the combination. I grab the MDMA, which I had previously crushed and was no longer in pill form, and put it in a shot glass. I poured a little soda over it and tossed it down. The soda did a good job masking the taste. I filled the shot glass again, and drank more, to ensure I got every last speck. I checked my clock and saw it was 12:45 AM.

At around 1:10 AM I noticed the first signs of the MDMA. This was my first time taking it orally, but I could feel the normal effects I had from snorting it. I took a deep breath, and slowly let it out, and felt intense pleasure. My body began to ripple with waves of warmth. My mind also switched from barely active to extremely euphoric. Mentally, the MDMA took over while visually the 2C-C was in complete control. I was now at a good +3. It was at this time though things began to become quite intense.

The 2C-C and MDMA began working in a unique way to me. The MDMA head space was mutating into something I had never experienced before. It was very euphoric, but very deep. It was almost frighteningly deep. Also, my visual field had changed. Last time I used 2C-C my visuals were mostly patterning. Now, there were intense detailed patterns running across everything in the room, while the whole room bend and morphed. I could not focus on objects as the swayed like trees in a tropical storm. The floor become an ocean and was splashing up and down. I began to feel motion sickness coming on, which is not something I commonly suffer from. There was more motion in my vision than I had ever seen in all my experiences, including with 2C-T-7. I turned and focused on the computer screen in order to keep myself from getting nauseas. If I did not have the experience I have I think this whole time period would have terrified me. However, I was able to handle it, and after a few minutes, become used to the room.

I actually found my mental change to be so strong that it was distracting. It was hard to me to focus on things, as I kept drifting off while The Beatles album “Abbey Road” played in my CD player. I kept disappearing into the music and drifting off for periods of time, just dancing along the musical staff, swinging on the notes like a monkey in a tree. With my eyes closed the music painted fantastic images with intense color and extraordinary detail. When the CD ended, it brought an abrupt stop to the images. I opened my eyes, and started the CD up again, but this time kept my eyes open.

Shortly after 2 AM, and just into the second playing of “Abbey Road”, I decided to get something to eat. I carefully walked to my fridge and got myself a bowl of mango I had sliced up. I sat back down and ate the fruit. It was quite juicy, and tasted exceptionally good. I was also thirsty I realized, but the mango did a good job quenching my thirst. I made a point to get myself a drink at that point too, before I forgot.

When the song “Because” played, I remembered just why I had taken the drugs tonight. I had actually wanted to try to solve some problems of mine. I went to my room to get my yearbook so I could see the faces of those I had lost. I went through the names and found my friends, but I was then caught by something even bigger than that. I saw the faces of those whom I wasn’t close to. I realized that there were many of them whom I would never see again. As I looked down at the book, all of there eyes seemed to stare coldly at me. I realized at that point what was really bothering me. I had taken everything in my life for granted. I had naively believed that everyone that was involved in my everyday life would always be there.

I had had issues with friends in the past, and at many times growing up questioned my own worth. I had spent years getting to a point where I was truly happy with what I had. My senior year had been great. I never stopped to think of how much fun I had really had with all these people. I wish I could have told them all how thankful I was, even those I didn’t consider friends, just for being a part of my life. But now it was too late. I was quite upset about this.

I then started thinking about my current situation. I was going to community college because I didn’t put enough effort in during my four years in high school. Now, rather than going off to some school with everyone else, I was living at home with my parents. I felt as though I was really missing out on something great. I started to say “What if…” but I stopped myself, as I know that leads to nowhere.

At this moment I laughed thinking how depressed I was even though I had “Ecstasy” in my system.

At this moment one of my best friends “T” messaged me on AOL Instant Messenger. He asked how I was doing, and I opened right up to him about everything I had been dealing with. I told him what I had taken, and how I hoped to solve things. He made a simple analogy of all of us; him, me, and our friends. He called us a giant puzzle. He said we were all together, but then split apart. But he said never to forget that we both know the pieces fit, and that the puzzle will be complete again. He then went on to add that if one of us doesn’t come back, then they were just a spare piece of the puzzle. This metaphor made so much sense to me then, and still does now when writing this. I thanked him tremendously. This really made me feel better. I looked at the yearbook again. The eyes of people now looked warm and welcoming rather than the cold stares I had received before. I thanked T again before he went to bed. I looked at the clock and it was just after 3:30 AM.

I was amazed at how quickly everything could be switched around. I went from very depressed to extremely euphoric all over again. At this point though, I noticed the visuals were calming down quite a bit. I was still at a light +3, but I was definitely coming down. The realization of how hard sleep would be tonight crept in, but I didn’t care. I had been dealing with the stress of the situation for well over a week. Losing a little sleep was definitely worth lifting the burden off my shoulders.

I spent the next hour listening to “Abbey Road” yet again (I cannot seem to become tired of this album) and chatting to people on IRC. Now that I had worked through my dilemma I could spend the remainder of the night just enjoying the wonders of psychedelics.

At around 4:30 AM I was down to a weak +2. I was feeling quite tired physically and mentally, but I was too stimulated to sleep. I took 150mg of diphenhydramine to aid the sleep process. I said goodnight to everyone I had been talking to and headed into my room.

I usually read in bed before I go to sleep, so I picked up my book (Ken Kesey’s “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”) and tried to read. I was still altered enough where reading became an impossible task. I closed my eyes and noticed slight imagery. I couldn’t tell if it was from the drugs or my exhaustion. It didn’t matter at this point, as it was pleasant to look at. I shut off the light in my room shortly after 5 AM, put on headphones playing Pink Floyd's “Dark Side Of The Moon” and closed my eyes to see what my mind could conjure up as the effects faded…

Shortly at the CD ended (around 6 AM) I fell asleep. I awoke the next after at 3 PM feeling a bit tired, but overall very good.

---------------------------------------------------

This time my normal conclusion will also include a follow up.

Conclusion:

The combination of 2C-C and MDMA was quite intense at points. On it’s own I find MDMA to be rather introspective, while I think that is the factor that 2C-C lacks the most. Visually MDMA does little (if anything) except brighten, whereas 2C-C has given me strong visuals both time. The combination created an intense feeling that was unlike either drug alone. I had been told mixing MDMA with other phenethylamines created intense visuals, but I could have never expected what I saw.

Mentally, I was thrown into a deeper part of my mind than I can recall visiting before. I was able to get right down to the root of the problem and grab it by the horns. Dealing with it was quick due to T’s help. I feel even without his help I still would have solved things eventually. Speaking to him simply speeded up the process.

Overall, the combo worked very well for me. I’ll presume it is a decently safe combination as I experienced no ill side effects, except difficulty sleeping (which would have been felt from either alone). Of course, I have no real data backing that statement, so proceed at your own risk. Also, this is a combo I think people new to psychedelic states should avoid, as it was very intense, and I think could very easily scare someone who was not prepared.

Follow Up:

It’s been a few days since this night. Things aren’t exactly better in the world for me. I still feel as though I am being pushed away by some. However, the trip has allowed me accept this. I suppose this is part of growing up. Everyone must break away from their home and move on to see the world, for better or worse. I still feel as though I am missing out at the moment, but that is unimportant. My time will come.

While the trip didn’t cure my situation, I have definitely come to terms with it, and make realizations about myself. I have decided that I fear change. As I mentioned earlier I had spent years unhappy, being just another face in the crowd. When I finally gotten things to where I was happy, I did not want to let go. My fighting this change, my refusal to let go is what I feel my real problem with the situation was.

I guess it’s just time for me to grow up and realize my life will never again be the same. But maybe it’s not for the worse. And who knows, maybe I’ll move on somewhere and become that extra piece of the puzzle. It’s too soon to tell.

I’ve got my whole life ahead of me. And for the first time, I approach it without fear, but excitement.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 26574
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 2, 2003Views: 21,703
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MDMA (3), 2C-C (262) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)

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