DOSE:		oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)
		oral	Pharms - Methylphenidate	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

133 lb

Les Claypool articulated the young life of partying hard on booz and drugs, especially speed in the song 'Restin bones'. I'm listening to that now as I'm starting to come down off a small methylphenidate tweak.

I'm a 16 year old male on the east coast, and I've already had my fair share of mind-altering sessions and experiences. My lust for drugs in general started when I was in middle school, age 13. In the 3 years since then I've travelled many branches of the human psyche and consciousness; whether it be from 3 years of heavy Dextromethorphan use, alcohol splurges, experimentation with lesser known recreational pharmecuticals like AmBien, legal OTCs like diphenhydramine, all opiates and benzodiazepines, etc etc etc. But the harshest drug problem I've ever had has been my amphetamine obsession.

Near the beginning of my sophmore year in highschool (14/15) I started dating a girl I had known for awhile, and we hit it off like any other fresh couple. She used to tease me about using DXM so much (a way to hide being worried), while she was a raver and heavy into E, speed and coke. I had said I'd never been able to score speed, and would like to try it. Without hesitating she got me 50mg of dextro-amphetamine the next day; and I soon began travelling down a road best left untraversed. I felt amazing on just 25mg, so I popped the rest and tweaked for the rest of the day in my classes, chewing my lip obsessivley and talking the whole time.

I soon began buying from her more and more, until she started to become late in delivering my product. I made friends with some kids with ADD/ADHD and had a fresh supply of dextro-amphetamines and Adderall at various points in the week.

She knew I had a problem, and after some unrelated quarrels we broke up. I continued to use amphetamines and sometimes methylphenidate daily. I would binge for weeks at a time and come into school looking like a haunted shell; vacant. Insomnia and amphetamine psychosis were destroying my sanity, and the weight loss ruined my health. I didn't activley think about addiction until I had a routine of snorting amphetamines in the bathroom before school started, going to my 1st period, excusing myself to the bathroom 10-30 minutes into the class to vomit, then go to my next classes and almost every other class would vomit.

This went on for months, until people stopped dealing to me (even real dealers). At rock bottom of my addiction I was under 100lbs and almost 6' tall. I stopped using daily, and eventually used rarely. On the last day of exams my 10th grade year I took over 50mg of Adderall and took my tests (and got A's on both). The come down was worse than any other I had experienced, and I made a promise to myself to never touch amphetamines again. A part of my being craves it masochistically, for reasons unknown to me. Over the summer that followed I used methylphenidate once, and once my junior year started I used DXM one time again (both experiences were hellish and resulted in a lot of vomiting, discomfort and psychological stress). I love downers/opiates much more than I ever have amphetamines, but they're so scarce around here it's impossible to get hooked. Amphetamines and methylphenidate were cheap and accessible alternatives to euphoria than opiates and benzodiazepines.

Yesterday a friend of mine gave me a 7.5/750 Vicoden, and I took it being in a rut of depression. The feeling brought back the longing for chemically induced euphoria and the complete apathy I wish I could make my reality. It was a decent nod for such a small amount of hydrocodone, but it was enough for me. I tried to get more for the next day (today), and a good friend of mine offered me a good amount of methylphenidate for free. I accepted, feeling very lucky and appreciative. My depression continued undisturbed, so I started popping 18mg XR pills every 20-40 minutes. I usually cut the XR/green part off the pill, but I didn't care. In fact the XR has made the rush easier to handle and the come down less stressful and uncomfortable. In any event my depression is still very much alive and my tweak is all but over with nothing but a lingering come down and pains in my stomach.

I've got 2 pills left that I'm going to try to save for monday, in hopes I can find more hydrocodone by then. I'm at an odd place in my amphetamine recovery. While I haven't used any real amphetamines in several months, methylphenidate is a place in the middle that I'm confused about. I want to stop using uppers altogether, but a part of me can't let it go.

The whole experience for me and the many people I've hurt and dragged into the scene has been a wild trip through incurable insanity. If I had the chance to do it all over again, amphetamines are the only aspect of my life I would change. It isn't worth the destruction of my life for a few hours of amped euphoria.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 26773
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 21, 2006	Views: 14,049
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Pharms - Methylphenidate (114), Amphetamines (6) : Various (28), Retrospective / Summary (11)