Citation: Cerebronaut. "Subtle and Satisfying: An Experience with Methylone (exp26973)". Erowid.org. Oct 23, 2003. erowid.org/exp/26973
||(powder / crystals)
Description of Mindset & Setting:
In a word, reluctant. I had some 1000 mg of methylone in my possession and was excited about *eventually* exploring this relatively rare and structurally intriguing phenethylamine, though it had not been in my plans the day the experiment took place. I had mentioned the fact that I had acquired some methylone to a friend who shares my interests in entheogens, whereupon persistent pleading to 'bring some out' commenced. After a few hours, during which time my resistance and better judgement was weakened by the consumption of a few beers, I eventually acquiesced and brought out approximately 250 mgs of the material.
Details of any preparations made for the experience:
As a sort of 'compromise', we decided to insufflate 125 mgs each. This might not seem like much of a 'compromise' to some, but my friend and I are a couple of hard heads who usually require heroic doses of any substance in order to attain significant effects. Had this been a planned excursion into altered states, we would have started early in the evening with a large oral dose (perhaps 250-400 mgs). However, it was already relatively late (around 11:00 P.M.), so we 'reasoned' that 125 mgs insufflated would enable us to have a real sense of the material's potential without committing ourselves to a long experience.
Dosage & Timing Information:
The material was a fine, white powder with that delicious root beer/licorice like odor that so often accompanies chemicals of this class. The insufflation was quick and painless, leaving a pleasant after taste.
There was the usual apprehension one feels after consumption but prior to first alerts, which were noticed at around the 10 minute mark. I wasn't expecting much from this material, having heard from several sources that its effects were comparable to MBDB, a substance I am familiar with and do not find particularly interesting. I was shortly to find myself rather pleasantly surprised by the unexpected place this chemical took me.
What, if anything, you learned from the experience:
The experience was entirely satisfying. Like many experienced entheogen users, it had been a long time since I experienced any of the magical qualities associated with a memorable dose of MDMA.
While there was certainly none of the 'all out bliss' or coveted 'state of grace' afforded by MDMA, I found that methylone did neverthless present, in its own reserved manner, a significant degree of those qualities that I had been so sorely missing.
Like MDMA, it creates a sense of 'entactogenisis'; at some point, I stop asking yourself 'am I liking this?' or comparing the effects to MDMA, and simply accept what the drug has to offer. I acknowledge what it is *not doing* (ie. it is *not visual*, it is not *intensely euphoric*), but these 'shortcomings' are increasingly irrelevant, as I find that *what it is doing* is entirely satisfactory. Consideration of its relative place in the pantheon -- its relative strengths and weaknesses -- is something that can wait for *after* the effects have worn off. While it lasts, its *perfect* -- I don't need anything else.
While, as I have noted, the overwhelming euphoria of MDMA was not present, I was nevertheless struck by how profound the sense of 'everything is *perfect* just as it is' was; I had not experienced this degree of contentment and 'entactogenisis' since my first few ecstasy experiences. I noted at the time that this suggests that the entactogenic effect apparently can be divorced from the 'hyper-euphoric' effect, suggesting that different aspects of brain chemistry are involved.
Both thought and communication flowed effortlessly, and I found I was able to see myself objectively -- my psychological strengths and weaknesses -- in a way that was more productive and meaningful than similar experiences on MDMA.
On MDMA, there is more of a sense of being *stoned* -- not entirely 'myself'- and especially, not entirely in control of my emotions. I often find on MDMA that it is not possible to indulge in such self reflection without occasionally being overwhelmed by feelings of sadness or guilt -- as well as *bliss* and *grace* of course ;)
On methylone however, you are in complete control of your emotions. You can examine the shortcomings in yourself and your relationships without fear of crippling pangs of guilt or sadness, and you can acknowledge and appreciate your strengths and the strengths of others in a manner that seems much more lucid and meaningful. I think this material may have considerably more therapeutic potential than MDMA, as it seems to allow the same sorts of valuable insights and critical self analysis, but it does so in a clear headed manner which seems far more 'real' and more likely to be productively integrated into ones every day life afterwards.
I also found that the material was valuable as an empathogen, in a manner that is far more subtle than MDMA but no less profound.
On MDMA, you may find yourself spontaneously 'in love' with all of humanity, yet if you were to be asked *why* you suddenly felt this empathy, you'd likely just stare blankly, smiling. On methylone however, I found that I had *reasons* for my feelings of empathy. Specifically, it occurred to me that the fact that we are all impacted upon by the same fundamental crisis -- the trauma of mortal existence in an enigmatic universe -- was more than sufficent rational justification for unbound empathy.
It occurred to me how incongruous it is that most of us will overlook someone's transgressions and extend to them a *special kindness* upon hearing, say, that they had just been given 6 months to live, failing to recognize that at the same time, here we are -- all of us -- living out our lives under the death sentence handed to us at birth: *We are all* deserving of that *special kindness*, all the time, and we all have something quite profound and intimate in common -- the enigmatic, tragic beauty of existence itself. How can I not love them all? One thought recurred to me again and again as I felt this 'rational empathy', which seemed to sum it all up -- there is no such thing as a stranger.
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