DOSE:

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

The first time I took MDMA was the most spectacular drug experience i've ever had, and I've had quite a few. Looking back, maybe it wasn't a good thing that the first time was so great, cause i've been trying to get back to it ever since without sucess.

For me, E is totally unpredictable. When it's good, there's nothing better, and when it's not, it is Hell in pill form. The experience depends on what the pill is cut with. Unfortunately, you never know what kind you have until it's too late to turn back.

I don't recommend MDMA as a rave drug...well no, I take that back, you have to try it at least once. I hope you have a better experience than I did. I've only taken E at raves twice, neither time was very good. The first time I took one pill, a green shmirnoff, around 10 pm and I was rolling hard by 10:30. I got about a half an hour of hardcore dancing in before I began to feel really dizzy. The moving lights turned rapidly from beautiful to nausiating, and I had to sit down to keep from vomiting. I didn't leave the couch for the rest of the evening except when this creepy guy came over and tried to feel me up. The all-loving empathy I felt during my first experience was replaced with a seething hatered for for everything that wasn't a cool, dark, room with no one in it.

On the drive home, (Around 3:30 am) I started to feel better. Oh, by the way, I wouldn't recomend driving on E either. We wouldn't have even left the club parking lot, if my friend hadn't remembered we could open the trunk without the keys I'd locked in it. The street lights were all very beautiful dancing around together as they were, but I found my keys in the ignition the next morning (so that's where they went!) having no recollection of leaving them there.

The second experience was even worse, but for a shorter time. I'm not sure what kind of pill it was, only that it was small and red. Rather than laying doped out on the couch, however, I was crouched like an insane animal behind it. I can't even describe exactly what was wrong, but for about three hours I wanted nothing short of oblivion. My skin was crawling, my vision blurred, I was hot and cold at the same time. The only sense worth having was hearing. GOD was the music ever good. It was eventually the music that brought me out of crazed stupour and on to the dance floor where I managed to dance for the remainder of DJ Illusion's amazing set.
I have been told that after awhile the magic disappears with E. After the last time, I thought I might not ever touch the stuff again. Now I'm pretty sure I will. After all, I'm still trying to get back to that perfect first time. If I do it again, however, it will be in a privet home with a small group of close friends, where all the music and lighting can be controlled and I don't have to risk life and limb on the roads.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 27417
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 8, 2003	Views: 5,189
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MDMA (3) : Loss of Magic (34), Difficult Experiences (5), Retrospective / Summary (11), Rave / Dance Event (18)