Citation: James. "Most Drunk I`ve Ever Been: An Experience with Alcohol (Vodka) (exp2745)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2745
At the time of this story me and my best mate were sixth form students. It was a normal old boring Sunday and we did not know what to do. He said that he was up for getting completely shit faced, he thought it was a funny thing to do as we both had school the following day and we would have to go in hung over. I was not so sure but agreed none the less.
Me and him had been pissed loads of times in the past, there was no way we knew how many times, but none were comparable to the level of pissedness that we got this night.
We went down the off license and purchased a 700 millilitre bottle of vodka, a bottle of coke to drink it with and 5 stellas each. This was the amount we would usually drink to get completely fucked. We went back to his bedroom and started drinking the vodka. It was then that I realised how up for getting pissed my mate was (I had never seen him this eager before). He mixed the vodka and coke for us in large glasses, and he was using far more vodka than coke. I don`t like drinking it like this but just thought, “you only live once” and matched his pace.
A while later we were near the end of the bottle of vodka, with loads of coke left, due to the concentration we were drinking it. I was beginning to feel pissed and knew that once I drank the beers I would be shit faced. My mate then surprised me yet again with his alcoholic urges: He suggested going to buy a second 700 millilitre bottle of vodka! I don`t know whether he expected me to turn his suggestion down as I was not initially up for getting so pissed due to school being the following morning but thought “fuck it” and agreed. We biked back down the off license and bought the next bottle. We were both also into pornography at that time and as we were a bit pissed bought 2 porno mags each from the off license! (fucking perverts). We went back to his house and consumed the rest of the vodka, of which I do not really remember. WE HAD DRANK 700 MILLILITRES OF VODKA EACH! This state of mind was blinding (beyond any drunk state possible from beer).
As we were drinking in his room and his Dad was in and we were so fucked we took the 10 beers out with us and the pornos and went for a walk. I haven`t a clue how many beers we actually drank but I know we had quite a few each, maybe even all of them. I also do not know exactly where we walked.
On the walk I remember we started getting up to some really stupid stuff. I think it was about 9 o clock during spring time so still light. The first thing we did was pulled up a stupid ornament from someones front garden that had been pissing us off for weeks and lobbed it into a bush. I then saw a women walking into a house and shouted at her to come and look at this. As she started walking towards us I opened one of my pornos up and showed it to her. She must have been really insulted and turned back to walk into the house. As she did so I shouted to her “Aren't you a lesbian then?” and then “Do you want a shag?”.
I then had a stupid idea to go and knock on doors and ask women for sex. We did this a few times to complete strangers but men mainly opened the door I think so I said I had got the wrong house.
After a while of this me and my mate decided to go back to his house. On the way back down his road I collapsed in one of his neighbours front gardens and started puking. He got me to get up but I was lost in a front garden and started walking round in circles! My mate was trying to get me out but had no luck. The owner of the house then came out, my mate told him that I was drunk. The man helped me back to my mates house and even picked up my pornos and left them next to my mates front door for me!
My mate got me in and lent me out his window for me to be sick out of. There is a roof outside his window which I covered in sick. Soon after puking I fell unconscience on his floor. A few minutes later the police knocked on my mates door saying there had been complaints about us. (Anyone could have reported us). My mate explained that I was now asleep and that he was going to sleep now.
I woke up in the morning lying on my mates hard floor without a top on lying in my own sick. The window was open and I was shivering like fuck. I had the worst hangover I think anyone has ever experienced, I was not sure whether I was awake or not! Like fuck me and my mate were going to school. My mate woke and we planned to bunk school and planned on sleeping all day when his dad came in saying he had the day off work. (This fucked our plans right up). He was in a right mood having being kept awake all night and made me get his ladder out and climb up onto the roof outside my mates window and clean all the sick off it, (not the sort of thing you want to do with a hangover of all hangovers). Anyway I did it and we had to pretend to go to school as his dad was to be at home all day. We went to the close by recreation ground were we slept for three hours on the grass (it was lovely). We then later on (when school had finished), went back to our own houses and slept. I was hung over for the next two days and my stomach was still fucked after that.
I must say that I do drink a lot but have never been anywhere near that drunk before and have not been since (this happened 1 year ago). I think the secret for getting so pissed was:
- drinking on an empty stomach,
- not expecting to get pissed until just before I did it,
- not thinking of the consequences (such as being sick),
- drinking almost straight vodka,
- drinking 700 millilitres of it quickly,
- having quite a few beers after it even though I was already fucked.
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