Citation: Sami. "Sacramental Use: An Experience with Fasting & Salvia divinorum (5x extract) (exp28151)". Erowid.org. Jan 23, 2007. erowid.org/exp/28151
For 2 days I was fasting for the Virgin Mary (Isis, Goddess, Yin, Kali, shakti, pick your image of choice), cleansing my body, mind and soul. No tv, no bullshit, no food. Then on the second nite of the fast (which happened to be a day before the full moon), I did my sabbath day prayers/meditation/nature connecting. I was upstairs in my attic, dark except for candles, smoky with insence, indian tabla and a voice melancholy yet hopeful singing coming from a cd player. I did my prayers, meditated for a while, then partook in a sacrament of Salvia Divinorum.
Within 30 seconds, I felt I was being drawn rapidly out of this reality, rapidly. Falling backwards into myself, suddenly I was completely disconnected from my 'Sami' self. My soul left my 'body' (whatever that is, I mean where does it begin and end?) and I suddenly was losing 'consciousness' of this reality, it was all falling away, I was in some way going thru what seemed like a death experience.
Now, I have done mushrooms, acid, ganja, morning glory, and others, but NOTHING compared to that experience last nite. It was so SCARY and yet freeing. I was free for a few moments, and damn that was scary. My 'chains' that bind me (I do not mean to make them sound negative) to this reality, my history, my family and friends, my name, all gone too quickly to remember them. It was amazing how I could not remember my 'earthly' name. It allowed me to travel thru space/time without an anchor in this reality.
Suddenly, I started getting really scared, what if I am dying really? Heart attack? Stroke? Usual paranoia. Part of me knew why I was feeling all this, but that didn't help me deal with the nowness, the completeness, the extreme aliveness of the moment. It was one of the most alive moments of my life. So I try to stand up to go downstairs, to normal reality, to see Jammie and hold her, to see electricity, lights. I try but feel as if I am becoming a tree, my legs feel like roots are coming out of them and holding on to the ground, they are about to take root. I start tripping out, I am completely out of control. Whenever this has happened before to me on shroomes or the such, I usually trust the divine,and end up having even deeper and greater journeys within.
This time, I was weak. 'Fear', man. Fear is the killer. I can't explain it, but when ever you go thru a death process, the best thing to do is not fear, I learned that from this experience. Anyway, so I struggle to release my legs' roots (of course, metaphoric, or was it?) from the ground, I barely manage. I start for the stairs and wonder if my wife, my daughter, lights, if they all really exist now. Brothers and sisters, this 'journey', what in the west would be called a 'hallucination', was so strong, it was more real than 'reality' it was a flower that blossomed out of 'this' reality but was so different.
I usually meet a dark woman when I smoke Salvia. I had started writting a short story to be a metaphor about my use of salvia as a teacher and guide, since in our 'free' country, we are not allowed to even discuss these things in polite society.
In this short story, a young man moves to the desert mountains of California and meets an old woman (salvia d.) who shows him altered realities. In this short story, the young man confronts the old woman after some 'meetings' and tells her that he is not impressed by these visions, as they seem made up in his own head. She tells him 'You want to experience the truth? So be it. But beware what you ask for.'
It is at this point that I had stopped writing the short story, waiting for more inspiration. That was maybe 4-5 weeks previous to the above experience. It seems Salvia felt disrespected and decided to show me things I wasn't yet expecting. Almost like the woman in the story. What inspired what, eh?
Anyway, as much as I was completely 'gone' on this journey, I was able to quickly realize my sense of humor and was laughing at myself, and at how scared I was. I checked my heart, pulse, etc. All good. Just tripping. But wow.
I felt I had to go back up, that I couldn't leave the upstairs reality like that. So I ask my wife to come up and hold my hand, well, just about. I was so scared of that freedom reality. We go up and I finish my prayers. I feel so thankful for this experience, because although it may sound like simply a complete 'trip', it was incredible. A great lesson that I am mainfesting in my life.
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