Citation: Punkerslut. "My Mind Screamed and Only I Heard It: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp28488)". Erowid.org. Apr 30, 2006. erowid.org/exp/28488
As I'm writing this, I am coming down off the massive Salvia Divinorum trip. It was, I must say honestly, quite unlike anything I've experienced before. But for this to have any meaning, I should inform readers of my background. I have used Dextromethorphan, LSA, methamphetamine, marijuana, crack, and a few pharmaceuticals (Codeine, Xanax, Klonnopin). The only drugs to have little success with was Marijuana and crack -- I simply felt extremely little to nothing. The rest were powerful, enjoyable, and deserved to be respected for their powers on the mind.
Recently, I've been drinking so much alcohol, that I'm trying to look for a casual replacement. My friend hooked me up with dried leaf Salvia once, long long ago, and when I smoked it, it was a very subtle, subtle high. I laughed my ass off a lot, but I didn't get anything hallucinational about it. So, now that I'm looking for an alcohol alternative, I think about Salvia. My alcoholism was somewhat undesirable, because when I stopped drinking for a day, I got the sweats, the shakes, and I got just really pissy and aggrivatted towards everyone. I had to drink every night. So, maybe Salvia could do it for me, I thought.
I purchased a gram of 10x, a gram of 5x, and an ounce of dried leaf. Since I didn't have a pipe (I didn't smoke weed or crack or meth), I took an empty can of Steel Reserve (wh00!) and punctured holes in it with a safety pin. I smoked some 10x and some dried leaf on it, and got just a slight high. Like, 'Okay, maybe I'm feeling it. I feel sort of happy.' It did nothing for me. I talked with some friends, and they're all giving me mixed advice.
One friend said that it kicked in in only 20 seconds and last only two minutes, and some confirmed that. Then someone suggested that I had to use a torch lighter, and get it really hot to smoke it. And that I couldn't use a beer can.
So, anyway, I ran into some friends, who had known I was a psychonaut (and somewhat of a chemist -- related interest, heh), and I told them I have some Salvia. I told them about it before, so I offered to smoke them up. I get the shit from my room and bring it to theirs (we were all at the same university). With a nugget of weed on the bottom, I packed in some 10x. I let my friend (Jay) have the first hit. He took a huge fucking hit, and coughed so much. His eyes were bulging. And then he fell back in the bed. 'Oh, fucking, man,' he said, 'My whole body's temperature is increasing and decreasing, my blood has been put on red alert.' He was bugging, and looked so tripped out. In less than ten fucking seconds. So, I take the pipe, and take a nice long hit off of it, and pass it off. I released. Ten seconds. Twenty seconds. Nothing. 'Fuck, maybe I didn't hit it right.'
At this time, I was thinking that I didn't know how to inhale maybe, because smoking weed and crack didn't do much for me. My other friend, who took a hit off it, felt nothing, too. 'I 'unno, man,' he (Dan) said, 'What's it supposed to feel like?' I said intense hallucinations.
So, I packed another round, figuring maybe it was because he had the first hit he got so fucked up. I inhaled, passed, and then exhaled. Still, nothing. I packed one final bowl of 10x, and smoked up. Still, I felt absolutely nothing. So, I gave up on it. The kids were packing some weed in it, and passing it around, so I took a few hits off that (in a way, it's a social institution -- the hitting off of weed of your friends). I'm chilling in this room, with about five people, and football is on. Now, I hate watching football, so I just try to relax, and eventually come up with an excuse to get the hell outta there.
About thirty minutes after my first hit off of Salvia, I started to feel weird, just like, the world was slowly drifting apart. I put it off as probably an LSA flashback, caused by the slight effects of Marijuana (which happens sometimes with alcohol). The screen of the TeeVee felt like it was its own entity and that everything else in the world was simply a two dimensional backdrop. Then all of a sudden, my heart started to pound rapidly, and it felt like my entire body was pulsating. And then I felt it, a disconnection with the world. That trip feeling. It only happens with psychodelic drugs, a very specific feeling. Not 'uber fucked up' feeling. But that, 'mind-expansion' feeling. It happens with LSA and DXM, so far I could confirm (and LSD and shrooms as others have stated).
After about 40 minutes from my first hit, it came on decently. So, I packed a whole bunch more. I put dried leaf on the bottom of the bowl (so the 10x extract, which was sort of looking like grains) wouldn't fall through. Then I smoked up some more.
My friend who got really fucked up in ten seconds said, 'No, man, I'm done with THAT chemical for tonight.' My other friend was like, 'I 'unno, I'm pretty fucked up now... But it might be just the weed. It feels like something else. Like, I feel like I'm not really here.' And we both started to laugh at the comment, because that was definitely not the weed.
I smoked up a whole bunch more, and the trippy feeling just became so much more intense. And there was a physical body buzz, that whenever I flexed a muscle, I felt an orgasmic euphoria, similar to LSA -- except LSA can have these almost random depletions of happiness. And like, my mind just tripped hard.
I'll try to explain the trip. When I looked around the room, and someone said something, that feeling, that attitude, that demeanor, the general VIBE, became so intensified. Like, my friend would say, 'Oh, man! Did you see that guy get tackled!?' And my heart exploded with passion, a feeling of, 'The intense power and strength of a football tackle, of a goal, of a game we root for.' And then someone said something funny, and my heart exploded with passion more, this time a feeling of, 'Holy hell! The comedy that we live through our lives so that we can remember who we are a little more!!!' And while I focused on that one vibe, it felt like EVERYTHING had that feeling, and all that didn't, seemed to disappear entirely. I would see this vibe, feel it, and then my mind would make a prediction. Like, I would close my eyes, and the next thing would happen. I saw someone stand up, I closed my eyes, and then I saw them do spins and chug a bottle of vodka.
I opened my eyes and they're standing over the TeeVee, trying to get better reception. I looked at something, and then blinked, and I saw what looked like an electric shadow. My eyes were wide open (as it was with other trip drugs), and my friends said I looked like I was bugging.
On the television, they were talking to some guy who looked like a mountain of flesh. Literally, the human version of Jabba the Hutt. Nobody was paying attention, though. So my friend Jay said, 'Whoa, look.' And everyone there (about me, Jay, Dan, and some chick) looked. Dan said, 'Man, that guy is not real.' The TeeVee switches to something else, and Jay turns to Dan and says with a smile, 'Dude, he definitely did not look real.' And I burst into a laughter that lasted about 20 minutes. So, finally, I did stop. And then, the girl was going to say something. In my mind, I was so convinced, 100% that it was going to be about the fat guy on the screen. But then it wasn't. And my train of thought had shifted to the new vibe, the new topic, the new ideas. What I was just thinking about, the vibe that had just filled me with passion, dissipated entirely, and I could not remember what it was.
On Dex, I've said, 'Yeah, and you can't remember what happened 5 minutes ago.' That Dex sort of feeling is more like, 'Yeah, and just where did my day go, and why can't I remember how I got to where I am right now?' On Salvia, what you were just thinking about five seconds ago is just obliterated. I would close my eyes and get these visuals, these things I would imagine. Since I have ADD, my mind likes to go a million miles a second. And these thoughts, these images, these movies, each built up upon the other one, started to unravel, as I saw clay figures battling each other, stairs that went down a thousand miles, scenes of myself running through the ghetto (long story behind that one), just trippy images, with balls bouncing, and weird caves.
I also had a horrible case of dry mouth. In fact, when I folded my tongue, it would stay stuck together for 30 seconds. I showed Jay and he screamed like a girl. I went to show Dan, but he was like, 'No, no, no, what is it, first?' And Jay was like, 'Oh, don't worry, it's cool.' I showed him, and he was pretty down with it. I went to show one of the girls. But my tongue got wet by the time I went over to them (stupid body). I mean, it would have made my night, if I could freak out this chick. The most intelligent thing (which she repeated about five times) was, 'Salvia? Wow, that sounds like Saliva.' And offending a no-brain girl is my sort of fun.
When the Salvia started to kick in, I thought it could have been marijuana, but I had a small nausea, just an uneasy stomach feeling. The only thing Marijuana has ever done for me is end nausea, and that's how I could tell the drug of Salvia was kicking in. Thirty minutes after I smoked it. By now, I had smoked 300mg of 10x with others, then 300mg of 10x by myself (using dry leaf at the bottom both times), and then I had abotu 300mg of 5x (which, basically, I had to smoke twice as much to get the same effect, which wasn't as much as a hassel as you might think it to be).
I really hate to smoke, because my lungs get burned out easily, but I kept smoking and smoking and smoking this shit. I wanted to reach a peak where I couldn't handle myself any more. On Dex, it took several months before I had the balls to take a 600mg trip, and every time I go over, it's a bad trip now. I wanted to reach the optimimum level of smoking Salvia. Also, with smoking Salvia, that feeling I had of burning out my lungs in pain, when I had my first hit -- that burning sensation stopped. Whenever I took a hit off it after the effects of Salvia kicked in, no burn. Just smoking happiness. Dan finally turned around and said, 'Man, this kid keeps staring at me and laughing. You should stop smoking.' So, I finally put it out. I chilled there for about a half hour longer, since the human interaction there, the moving and vibrating scene of living social interaction, it all provided me with great physical and mental stimulation, as situations were twisted and fucked up in my mind when I closed my eyes.
1 AM rolls around, and I'm still getting fucked up off of it (even though I stopped smoking). About that time, I skip out. I was walking down one of the campus paths. It was like, a regular assphalt road on an otherwise grassy area. But as I looked down when I walked, I suddenly got thoughts. 'This isn't just a road -- this is the driveway to my commune -- no, this is the road I'm hitch hiking out of New Orleans with, -- no, this is the road to home -- no, no, no, this is the surface of the moon.' Each time I thought one of these things, I absolutely believed it. The first time, with the thoughts of the commune, I believed (or knew) that I was carrying the mail from the mail box, and that my friends were waiting for me at the front porch. And when I thought I was on the surface of the moon, the road became gray and everything looked exactly like the moon's surface (the grass turned gray and grew craters). I thought that everyone was looking at me weirdly, thinking, 'Why is that kid walking on the moon?' But then I looked up, saw everything else, the hallucination faded, and I felt like they stopped thinking I was walking weird.
As I walked through the unwinding, white corridors of my dorm house (since it was night now, they locked every entrance except the main one, so I had to do some walking) -- and I was thinking that I was walking through the halls of a hospital. And I was convinced of that. Mentally, your brain can decipher between what you believe and what you know, and mentally, on Salvia, whatever I believed became exactly what I knew.
I made it back to my dorm room in one piece, where I listened to trance-ambient-techno. It felt like it was pulsating through my body. I had four beers to add to the effects of the salvia. When I when to take a swig, I looked into the hole of the can, and saw the beer, and it looked like a cave, and then it felt like I was being dragged through the cave extremely fast. I would open my eyes, and just my monitor, looking like it was cracking, as though it was dissolving into small pieces of liquid magma that were about to explode and burn themselves deep into my flesh. I rubbed my stomach, and it felt like ultimate, divine, heavenly bliss and purity -- a sort of absolute pleasure, that it was unthinkable. With LSA, it sort of feels like I'M on the brink of a bad trip/bad insanity. With this, it was pure, wholesome, I had no fear, I wasn't afraid of a bad trip. Finally, at 3 AM, it had been almost 3 hours since I smoked, and I was uber fucked. The beer made me sleepy, so I crashed for a few hours (afterall I have to get up at 8:30 for class, or, uhhh, about 40 minutes from right now).
I finally woke up at around 5:30 AM, still feeling mentally fucked up. I hadn't eaten anything, which is why I thought I was still fucked. So, I crammed down a few triscuits and soda. When I focus on one part of the room, I see everything else slowly dissolve, as though being eaten by an acid. It's certainly not the mental chaos I was in before, with my mind going through a hundred thousand movie scenes in less than a minute. But right now it's 7:50 AM, and I'm decently still fucked up. On a come-down, and it's been about six hours since I smoked any Salvia.
Anyway, though what happened to me was very different than what anyone told me, take it for what you will. It took 30 minutes (not 20 seconds) to kick in, and lasted for 6-8 hours (not 10 minutes).
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