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Detachment & Absurdity in the Slaughterhouse
by Agent Never
Citation:   Agent Never. "Detachment & Absurdity in the Slaughterhouse: An Experience with Melatonin (exp28606)". Erowid.org. Jun 21, 2007. erowid.org/exp/28606

  oral Melatonin (powder / crystals)


Over a period of 5 years, and for no particular reason, I have Occasionally used melatonin before retiring to bed. Early on in my experiments, clued in by some research, I found that scraping just a bit of powder (estimated at 0.3mg) [Erowid Note: Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts. See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.] from a 3mg tablet was effective. I never found the drowsiness inducing effects very dramatic, useful, or interesting, so Iíll mention some other effects I noticed.

Dreams became vivid, absurd, and disturbing, however I found myself somehow detached from the emotional content. I would go so far as to term melatonin dreams 'nightmares' which I rarely have normally.

An example: In one dream I found myself in a slaughterhouse near a chopping block. Blood was spurting everywhere and I realized that. Extremely fat people were offering themselves up for slaughter. I saw the pinkness of their skin very vividly and up close. I could see and remember the bulges of fat with great detail. I specifically remember the blood squirting all over the place, as their skin was sliced open. Once I fully realized was happening, I pleaded with them to stop volunteering themselves up for this grotesque fate. But it seemed that there was some sort of machinery in place, which prevented our communication, and made us all, on some level, indifferent to the inhumanity of the situation.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 28606
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jun 21, 2007Views: 1,486
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Dreams (85), Melatonin (94) : Alone (16), General (1)

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