A Whole New Respect for Living
Citation:   Lord Maul. "A Whole New Respect for Living: An Experience with Caffeine (exp28632)". Erowid.org. Jul 8, 2006. erowid.org/exp/28632

  repeated oral Caffeine (powder / crystals)
[Erowid Note: It is estimated that fatal doses for humans are between 1 and 4 grams of caffeine, depending on body weight and tolerance, see Caffeine Dose Chart]

'Damn, there has to be more to this caffeine than just getting it in small amounts in drinks! Where can I get the REAL DEAL?'

I finally found it and ordered it online. When I got it, I first tried mixing it in some Sunny D. While I managed to get some excellent energy, kickass vision(everything seemed sharp, bright, complex, etc.) with a little of it mixed it, I wanted to try more...which wasn't possible, since the powder tastes like PURE ASS. It's very, very bitter.

So then I turned to pills. I got some empty gel caps I found in my old medicine cabinets and put some of the powder in them. These would take longer to take effect, as the capsule had to break down. They were about 1g apiece. I tried taking just one, but decided to take more. I tried taking 4 pills. Effects were similar as before, only hightened...I was very shaky, couldn't sit still, couldn't think, overcorrected my movement, etc. and had an insane heart rate. The crash was bad, too, and I had a blistering headache that lasted for a whole day or more and gave me almost no energy.

This effect lasted for longer than I would have liked, and a few days later, I still felt tired and worn out. Still had an achy head, etc. So I did what I thought might fix it (since painkillers did nothing) - I took more. A lot more.

I took 4 pills (4g) and almost the equivalent in pure powder in a big spoonful of thick yogurt. At this point, I almost immediately felt better. Aprox time: 7:30pm.

Then I started feeling the shakiness again, and it kept getting worse. It got to the point I couldn't even hold a glass of water without spilling it. I went and sat down, and my stomach started to hurt. All of this kept getting worse till I felt like I was going to pass out, but I wasn't that lucky yet. Soon all my insides felt like they were digesting themselves and/or being attacked by my body, it all ached, I felt more nauseous than I ever have, and I felt as if I was moving in weightless water. IE, it took no energy or muscle exertion to make any part of me move, I felt no resistance when I tried to walk around or move my appendages, etc.

I finally went into my bedroom and decided to try to lay down and maybe that would help. I was there for about 3 hours (lost track of the time, but it felt like days) until I started passing out. By this time, all the initial caffeine was in my system and the pills were broken down as well. I passed in and out of consciousness for about an hour or two, not sure exactly. Then I started puking. I woke up suddenly and felt like I was going to throw up my insides...I grabbed my garbage can next to my bed and filled it up with that night's dinner. I kept puking and heaving till it felt like my stomach was empty, and I just got dark fluid that burned like a MFer spewing up...then it stopped and I passed out again.

I woke up yet again with the same feeling a short time afterwards and began what I thought was going to be puking. Only there wasn't anything to puke, and I just dry heaved(extremely painful) for about 5 minutes straight, and kept doing this in half hour intervals for probably 2 hours. Aprox time: 1:30am

I kept this up throughout the night(passing out, waking up and dry heaving, passing out, laying there shaking, dry heaving, etc.) till about 5:30am when I finally either passed out or went to sleep from the most extreme exhaustion I've ever experienced. I woke up at about 12:00pm the next day and didn't feel much better, but didn't puke any more. I felt once again like I was walking in a weightless water, only everything seemed grayscale and there was no vibrance left to my sight like I had in previous caffeine experiences. I would try to walk around, but even though I felt no resistance, I would get EXTREMELY tired very quickly all of a sudden and feel like I was going to pass out again. It is very hard to describe. Constant nausea pursued.

I didn't sleep that night, and only about an hour the next, until finally the symptoms were gone.

Throughout the whole thing, I honestly felt like I was dying. I had little control over my body and I felt like I was in a constant state of shock. When I was conscious, I kept promising myself how careful I would be, praying to be allowed to live a little longer, swearing off dangerous things in my life. When I was finally able to walk easily and get around without getting quickly exhausted, I went outside and sat in a lawn chair, just looking at the trees, and the sky, and the grass...I got a whole new feeling toward and appreciation for life that day. I was so thankful to be alive.

It also seems difficult to make it smokable, though I only tried one method. Snorting it is another way I tried it, but its not potent enough to make up for the pain I get when the powder goes into my sinuses.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 28632
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 8, 2006Views: 31,654
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Caffeine (11) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)

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