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First time Magic to Paranoia
Ecstasy
by Jane Zoe
Citation:   Jane Zoe. "First time Magic to Paranoia: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp2877)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2877

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 45 kg


It was my first experience on what I think was an E, and with people I had met the night before. We went to a club & hung in a dark crowded room full of strangers. It wasn't a planned thing that night. But did it ever change my perception of things!

I started off with half & became impatient & there were no effects, so took the rest if it. I'm extremely tiny and when it hit me, it took me.

I felt unreal. Even the tiniest movement felt so enlarged and huge. A rattle of a twinky felt like a throw of the arm, and I new it hit me. I danced and felt so happy.

We changed rooms in the club and it was darker and hotter in the room. There were faces in the crowd that were making paranoid, but I spoke to everyone - feeling like they could see right through me.

I was dancing most of the night, and panicing at the same time. I kept comming and going and people aroud me knew I was having a bad one, they would come to me and calm me down but at the same time I knew there was something wrong.

I had about 4 different mind frames when I dancing - then coming back to myself and telling everyone I'm ok.

But to go to the toilet on my own was the hugest challange to me and I didn't want to leave where I was. Finally I got angry at myself for feeling so scared & walked myself to the toilet. The girls in ther helped me feel better about the experience. I felt like I was saying things twice and ashamed in a way. My heart was racing so fast and my eyes were pulsing in the mirror. But at the same time I had never seen my face so alert and alive.

Went back to dance. Started panicking again. Then I thougth the worst thing is death. I truly thought I wouldn't see the next day. It was 7am in the morning and I was still dancing and I knew I couldn't go hm to my parents yet. They would definately give me a heart attack.

I had driven home - heart still juming out of my chest & still dancing in the car to stay sane. For the rest of the day my friend took care of me but I was too scared to sleep, as I had a big chest pain earlier. She made me herbal tea & I finally chilled.

I was so happy to wake up the next day! I really didn't think I'd see the next day. I Went to work - so disorientated and still trying to figure it all out. I did get depressed, however & had thoughts of leaving my job etc, but I got over it! and I'd prob. do it again. : )

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 2877
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 8, 2000Views: 2,407
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MDMA (3) : Club / Bar (25), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)

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