DOSE:	repeated	insufflated	Cocaine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated	smoked	Heroin	(tar / resin)
	repeated	IV	Cocaine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated	IV	Heroin	(tar / resin)
	repeated		Various

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

I started smoking weed in the 5th grade. I promised my self I would never try any other drugs. I even remember where I was sitting and who I was with. Anyway rite now I am 19 years old and I am in intensive out patient rehab after 3 in-patients. Everyone starts doing drugs for different reasons, some just to get high, some to escape, depression ect. I started for no real reason but to get high, just have a good feeling. But from that good feeling it turned into doing it for depression and to escape the world. If you can’t deal with the world and the people in it, leave the world

I was at a party smoking and drinking with a few friends on a Friday night. Most of the people there I had no idea who they were. We were all just mingling around and this guy pulled out about 10 grams of coke. Up tell this point I had never done anythin passed weed, acid once, and booze. I figured what the hell, I’ll try it. So I went over to the guy and asked him if I could do some. He cut out 3 lines about 3 inches long each with a razor blade on to a small mirror. He rolled up a dollar bill and gave it to me. I wasn’t hesitant at all, probably I was so gaked already. So I did all 3 lines one after another.

If I could tell you it was the best feeling in the world it wouldn’t be even close. I feel infinite on coke, like nothing could get to me. Like I am king of the world. For the rest of the night I just kept doing more coke. As it would ware off, I’d do a few more lines. I felt invincibal. luckly I had some money on me and I bought 4 grams and got the guys number.

I didn’t plan to be calling him all the time. I was ganna finnish what I had with some friends and than go back to my old routine. Well I did that and I stopped coke and didn’t have another encounter with it for about 3 months. My friend started doing it and I remebered how great it was and I new I still had that guys number. I went on a binge of doing coke everyday for about 2 months. I would wake up and do a few lines before school, and during school in the bath room. One day I was meeting my coke guy at the bottom of my street and he asked me if I wanted to start dealing the shit. He said that he would give me 3 o's of coke and what I didn’t sell I could keep. So the deal was after that, that I get to keep half the cash and I could get as much coke as I wanted for free. I was totally in.

The power that comes from dealing is insane. I would bring in ounces of coke to school a day and people would basically just kiss the ground I walked on. I introduced alot of people I hung out with in school to coke and we would do it all the time. I never didn’t have a ton of coke. And the money was great too. I was pulling in 2 g's a week of my own profit.

The hole coke binge of dealing and doing lasted about 6 months. I still did coke basically everyday but it just became normal to me. I wanted to get more into hallucinogens becuase I thought it inhanced my creativity and made me more open to life. So I would do acid about twice a month and do shrooms, synthetic mescaline in between. At this point I was barely ever smoking weed anymore. It got to boring and with my reputation as a big dealer and powerful popular guy weed would make me look bad.

My coke guy introduced me to a few of his friends who were also coke dealers in different places, but also moved alot of heroin. I started sellin the stuff before I even tried it for my self. One day I had some extra smack and wanted to try it since heroin was in a hole different class than the stuff I was doing. I took one of my moms spoons cooked the junk up put it on top of a piece of aluminum foil, held a flame to the bottom of it and smoked it through a straw. The high was great. Just pure nothingness. It was really different from the exciting stimulant high of coke. It was just perfect. Really laid back and amazing. After the first time I did it, I didn’t do it again for weeks I did it maby once twice a month for 2 months.

No one new about my heroin habbit, only a few people even new I tried it. I ended up quitting dealing after about 2 years cuz I didn’t wanna help people get drugs anymore cuz I new it was bad news and I still thought it was great but didn’t wanna be a part of kids fuckin them selves up. So I called the people I worked with and told them I didn’t wanna do it anymore but I would occisoanly move some. They said it was cool and still continued to give me free drugs. As time went on I started really focusing my self around my drug habbit. I started shooting heroin now instead of smoking it and the high was 10 times better. I shot coke once in a while too but I really enjoyed the process of cutting lines. Everyone was noticing I had a problem cuz I was doing lines of coke in the middle of class. I was still really popular but really feared.

The first time I tried a speed ball was one to be rememberd. An old girlfriend came over cuz she heard I was a big dealer and could help her out. She asked me if she could try some of the stuff I had. She laid out some coke and some smack and mixed them up together with a credit card. She cooked the mixture up on a spoon of mine and sucked it into her syrigne. I asked her what she was doing and she simply replied 'speedball'. I asked her if she would cook me up a shot while I went down stairs to get some vike and oxy from my garage. When I got back up she was really gaked out and couldn’t bring her self to hand me the shot. So I took it and found a good main vein and shot the filth into my self. Wow. It was so great I didn’t know what to think. Nothingness. Or craziness. It was both plesablty mixed together.

From then on I would do coke in the morning so I could get throgh the morning, shoot a speedball during the day, and at night shoot more heroin to go to sleep. I did this for days and days. I finally overdosed on oxycontin and was in the hospital for 2 days. My family was crushed and I quit for a while until I did some coke and overdosed on that again. The school mandated me to go to rehab or I’d get kiked out and the cops were suspecting I dealt the stuff too. The number of people who used coke in my school grew alot. I stayed clean for about 2 months in rehab when I did some ketamine and nitrous at a friends party. I was cheating the drug tests using bleech for months. I finally slipped up and tested positive for ketamine, coke, and speed. That was it I was sent to a full time rehab facility and I have been clean ever since. After a long time of withdrawl.

Do I have any regrets now? Well, no not really. I had a great time on drugs. I mean, money, power, great feelings, but deep down I guess I new it wouldn’t last. I don’t know where I would of ended up if it wasn’t for me over dosing, but I believe everything happens for a reason and whatever the reason was I accept it.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 28870
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 1, 2007	Views: 25,372
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Cocaine (13), Heroin (27), Various (136) : Combinations (3), Addiction & Habituation (10), Overdose (29), Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)