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The Paranoia Portal
Ecstasy
by ravens
Citation:   ravens. "The Paranoia Portal: An Experience with Ecstasy (exp29190)". Erowid.org. Dec 14, 2003. erowid.org/exp/29190

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 120 lb


I am reasonably experienced in psychedelics and other substances, including ecstasy, and so I expected that a single dose would produce nothing more than euphoria and loving feelings.

I took 1 pill of 'blue torch' at about 7:10 p.m. with a friend on the same dose. In about 10 minutes I complained that the effects were too strong, and had the usual uncontrollable eye saccades and waves of euphoria. While this was not entirely unpleasant, I had a distinct feeling that the trip was getting away from me, that I could not control where my mind might go. I got over this feeling in about 5 minutes and continued on a happy ride for about an hour.

My friend and I began to talk about spirits and the spirit world. She mentioned that she saw a portal 'to somewhere' in my bathroom. Suddenly, that feeling that I could not control where my mind might go returned, and I spent the rest of the night guarding my home and us against the portal. It was a negative experience that persisted for about 3 days, slowly decreasing in intensity. I was very paranoid (of evil spirits and creatures from other dimensions, something I usually don't think about) and 'slept' with the light on for several nights. I was genuinely frightened that I would have permanent paranoia. Weeks later I was more mellow but still having an occasional dream that something was invading my bedroom while I slept, or the experience of feeling watched by something with evil intentions. (I had not had such feelings before the trip.)

I submit this primarily because I have had many excellent drug experiences, including LSD and psilocybin, and a few moderately bad trips in which I was focused on death or sorrow, but nothing nearly this disturbing or persistent after the initial trip, and nothing that I felt I could not talk myself out of or mentally lift up into a better trip until now. I share this information because I had believed that one could not have a 'bad' trip on E, and I had believed that E was very easy to mentally control. While I would definitely take E again, I will be a wiser and more cautious consumer.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 29190
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 14, 2003Views: 9,182
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MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), What Was in That? (26), Difficult Experiences (5)

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