Citation: HEWLL BMM. "The Near Death Bad Mix: An Experience with 5-MeO-AMT, LSD & Amphetamines (Adderall) (exp29591)". Erowid.org. Jan 20, 2004. erowid.org/exp/29591
This story may be long, but itís based on the night that I ODíd and nearly died so please read it full through before you throw it away or discard it. A lot of this is from the things that have started to come back to me, because for some of this story I was unconscious or unresponsive. I have had to learn what the whole story is because there are parts where I am hallucinating and cannot remember, but they are mostly at the end of my trip.
It was Friday and the last day of class for the semester. I got up at 9am for my 10am. Took my 30mg of Adderall for ADD and started walking to class, it would only take me ten minutes to get to class, but I wanted to take my time and enjoy the walk. I went to my classes and was done by 12am. I ate some lunch with whoever was around, because everythingís usually dead on the weekends. I hung out playing video games in my friend's room waiting for people to arrive so that we could go to where we were staying the night. It would be a great night; there would be drinking, tripping, smoking, and a blizzard outside. We knew we were going to be having fun and enjoying ourselves in a warm house. We wouldn't be able to leave for a while because people were busy doing stuff and there were all sorts of complications with where the alcohol was and who wanted to go stay the night. We finally got to the house and waited for the alcohol to arrive along with my fellow trippers. It was getting bad outside and we were getting worried about our friends being out in a blizzard.
It was around 10 or 11 when they finally arrived with the alcohol, 5 MEO AMT, and themselves. I was waiting for the trippers to get there so I could pop my pill and take my tab of LSD. Against the better advice of the friend who sold me the LSD [1 tab] and the 5 MEO AMT [10-20mg], I took them both at the same time. I had taken 5 MEO AMT several times before; so I was well aware of the effects that it would have on my stomach and that I would either throw up or wish I had thrown up. I waited for the nausea to kick in and it did and I felt really horrible. My friend told me to wait at least two hours for the LSD to kick in before I take the 5 MEO AMT. He told me that it was old and may not be very potent; plus I didnít keep it well refrigerated so I figured it probably wouldnít even work. Once I had started to throw up a little thatís when I noticed I had begun to trip. Everyone knew that I was taking LSD and 5 MEO AMT at the same time, so they were watching me carefully to make sure I was okay. They would follow me outside when I needed to throw up just in case I walked off into the nearby ocean or thought lying down in the snow would be a great idea.
The snow next to where I was throwing up started to move and shift in shape. It was different shades of white and grey moving around together in snake like patterns. The wind was blowing and I heard ominous voices that were not really there. I went inside and one of my friends tried to mess with me and immediately I flipped out and acted hostile towards him, by telling him not to do that because he knows full well the negative effects of messing with someone who is tripping. I quickly reclaimed my composure and assured everyone that I was not violent. Everyone there agreed that itís not good to mess with one of the tripping kids; especially the one on Acid. I sat down in my friendís room while Weezer was being played on the computer. I looked at the War Craft 3 poster in front of me, the characters were really fighting, and I could hear them fighting.
I turned around to discover a friend sitting on the bed behind me playing with her boyfriendís cat all while listening to the music and having a good time. She was talking to the cat; very possibly about me I am not really sure. But their presence in the room made me feel a sense of warmth, love, and connection that I could not describe. These feeling were overwhelming with the sounds of Weezer and battle which were coming from the direction of the computer. I left the room and sat by the door between the kitchen and living room, while there I started feeling like people were verbally attacking me and I would respond with ďFuck you _________!!!!, but not fuck you ________Ē and this would go on for a little while, I would be in and out of conversations without even being in the conversations or even saying anything that made sense. I was tense about the fact that people were planning to leave, because there were still people who had not arrived yet. So I ran out the door yelling ďNO, no, no, no, no!!!! No one is going anywhere!!!!!Ē
I knew I was tripping nuts, but I was still cognitive or so I thought I was to take control of the situation and prevent anyone from leaving. They wondered who had just run outside yelling and checked who left. Whoever went out to check came back and I told them that it was me who went out. They told me that no one was going to pick anyone else up, because everyone was already there. Friends of mine from back home started to show up, but I knew that they were back home and not really there, but I was talking with them and conversing with them as if they really were there. I began to answer a question that no one had asked me and try to get them to understand that I was tripping and was not capable of answering their question. I tried to explain to them that I understand Tool and Maynard. I told them if they looked hard enough eventually they would see what I was seeing and that their time would come.
This is around the point where things started getting bad and my trip comes to an end. I moved to a place on the floor in the kitchen and as I looked around I could see the music moving around me, it was as if I could see the energy and waves pulsing, flowing, and swirling all around the room. I was beautiful, I felt as if I had never truly experienced music before. I started asking them to play some darkness (turn off the lights) and play some Tool. I kept asking for darkness, but then when they started to reach for the light I quickly told them not to turn off that light, I was confused and didnít know what was going on. They didnít turn off the light, I donít know if I was afraid to leap into the void or the unknown or if I was about to embark on a journey from which I would never return from or be the same again. I held the light close to me and embraced it. I began to see myself from the eyes of the disgusted outsider.
I am not sure what I became or how to clearly describe myself in this state, but I know that whatever it was has been locked away and is probably one of my worst fears. I had become a little half man half creature that was puking and snotting on itself, while everyone was looking at me as if thatís what I really was at that point in time. Then I also thought that I had gotten the cops called and that they were on their way to arrest me for public drunkenness or lewd conduct, and my friends were just looking at me and saying ďYeah thatís our friend Hans, the one who gets drunk and gets the parties broken up.Ē While others were saying ďThatís the reason you donít do a lot of drugs.Ē I didnít know what to believe. I started asking for ďdarkness, play some darkness, just kill me now, just shoot me, put a bullet in my head, darkness, darkness, just kill me now, just shoot me, put a bullet in my head.Ē I then lay down and gave up and said one last thing to the paramedic and police officer who suddenly appeared out of no where ďFuck it I give up, yeah Iím the one you are looking for Iím the dying kid.Ē Then I blacked out.
While I had been seeing my friends from home, the creature in the corner, and the paramedic reaching out to me; I was non-responsive. My friends have seen bad trips before and knew some techniques on how to help a friend get through a bad trip, but I started having seizures and they immediately called the 911 for help. I had fifteen seizures on the way to the hospital, I was in a coma for a two days. My parents had to drive an hour and a half through a blizzard the next day at 8:30 the next morning, while under the assumption that their son was dead or dying in the hospital and that I may not be alive by the time they got there. My friends watched me nearly die on their kitchen floor, gave statements at the police station, stayed with me in the hospital until my parents arrived, waited around to hear if there had been any change in my condition, deal with my parents when they arrived (who were not happy with the situation, but happy that they did the right thing when it mattered the most), as well as visit me in the hospital.
I hope they can all forgive me for my selfishness and know how much I appreciate what they did for me. I hope they know how much they mean to me and that I love them for the good people they are. If someone asked me what made me a rich man, I would have to tell them ďthe friends that I have make me the richest man in the world.Ē The police told my friends that they may be held on manslaughter charges because I may not make it through the night. This night has taught me a lot of things never mix hallucinogens with Adderall, donít trip alone, be aware of the negative aspects of hallucinogens and other drugs. I am lucky to be alive, but the only reason is because of great friends who acted quickly and called for help when they were the situation was out of their control.
Hallucinogens can be fun, but can also be very dangerous as well. You never know what can interact negatively with your normal medications. If you are going to mix anything just remember that you may cause yourself to end up having seizures, coma, brain damage, or death. Itís also not fair to let the people who care about you in life watch, you make that mistake. I am lucky to be alive and able to speak without brain damage.
A friend of the author's wrote to Erowid with the following in Aug 2004:
I recently received the news about the research chemical websites that were shut down by the DEA. It is horribly unfortunate. However, I found some discrepancies in the news reported by the DEA. Example:
'In December 2003, police responded to a call of a college student found unconscious, unresponsive and turning blue on the kitchen floor of a residence in Fairhaven, Massachusetts. He had been lying on the floor for 45 minutes before a call for help was made. This student was suffering from the ingestion of a substance he obtained from WWW.RACRESEARCH.COM. This overdose victim now suffers from chronic, violent seizures.'
I knew that person. He was a student of Umass Dartmouth (state school). Some facts:
He had mixed LSD with 5-MeO-AMT.
Also, he was on an Adderall prescription. The combination of these three drugs led to his overdose. Furthermore, he was not simply lying helpless on the floor for 45 minutes. His friends had been attending to him trying to help him, without drawing official attention. The student was in a two day coma afterwards, but does not suffer from 'chronic, violent seizures' now at all.
I have not been threatened with prosecution or anything by the DEA about these sites, but I was under investigation locally (though not charged -- I was expelled). I just think that it really, really, really sucks about these sites going under, and the DEA has to exaggerate to make it sound worse than it was. I hope some of the information I provide here is helpful.
August 15 2004:
The DEA removed the mention of this overdose from their July press release in mid August, 2004. The person involved called several times to complain to the DEA that they had misrepresented the story about him.
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