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Why I'm Not Tryping as They Are?!
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by MaFF
Citation:   MaFF. "Why I'm Not Tryping as They Are?!: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp30598)". Erowid.org. Sep 28, 2017. erowid.org/exp/30598

 
DOSE:
1 tablet oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 59 kg


First of all, am Mexican, so, I'm not very good writing in English, but I'm going to try to do my best in this narration.

I was very excited because a friend of mine invited me and my girlfriend to a 'rave', he said that it was great, that we were going to have an experience that we weren't going to forget... And actually he was right.

So we went to this party, I was very nervous, because I knew that this substance is not like smoking marihuana, this is chemical; but he assured me that it was going to be excellent. How fool I am!

I took one pill, it's name was 'happy face', that is what they said. I don't know exactly how it started to go up, but suddenly I wasn't me. I was so afraid, I was afraid of something that I don't really know. I couldn't stop thinking those stupid things. I wanted to be cool, but I couldn't, I was chewing my teeth. I felt that my friends were trying to relax me but now I know that they were under other substances, and they weren't absolutely able to help me.

I have flashbacks and I couldn't stop feeling that horrible feeling, I couldn't understand why everybody was having fun and I was so scared. My friend gave me water and when I drank it, I was relieved, but that feeling never left. Suddenly an unknown guy came to me, and gave me a toostie-pop, he said: 'this way you will chill out my friend', and I said 'thanks'.

I was dancing all night but all the time I couldn't forget that feeling. I had the feeling that everybody in the rave was trying to help me but I was so scared that I didn't know what to do.
I had the feeling that everybody in the rave was trying to help me but I was so scared that I didn't know what to do.


The sun came up and I felt relieved, like if everything in the past night was erased of my mind. I sat down in the sand and I watched the ocean, that blue was wonderful... I wanted to go and swim but I continued feeling scared so I didn't.

When I chatred with my friend I told him that I didn't like it, and he said that it was the quality of the pill, that the next time it was going to be much better.

So I tried again. We went to an other 'rave' and sincerely it was just the same. I started to read about it and the damage that I caused to myself is incredible. I had tremblings, I created things in my mind that took down, I used to be a very popular person, I could have a great ambiance of work, but after this I started to have some feelings that I'm sure are like those that I had in my head that night.

The only thing that I started to like after this is the music. I think that this substance is very addictive because maybe the person that uses it doesn't love this substance he loves the feeling that it gives. And the ambiance that he creates, the people that are around. Because I can remember almost all the faces that I saw in that place, I think also what they were wearing. I was very sensitive.

I really don't recommend it.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 30598
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 28, 2017Views: 945
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MDMA (3) : Difficult Experiences (5), Rave / Dance Event (18)

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