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Coke Ruins Everything
Cocaine
by just_me
Citation:   just_me. "Coke Ruins Everything: An Experience with Cocaine (exp31222)". Erowid.org. Feb 26, 2004. erowid.org/exp/31222

 
DOSE:
  IV Cocaine

BODY WEIGHT: 210 lb


I first tried cocaine in 1994. i thought it was the greatest thing because it made me feel so much better. it made all of my problems and depression go away. at that time i only snorted it and at first i was afraid to try it. my friends sold it and i was around it quite a bit so i think me trying it was inevitible. i used coke from 1994 to late 1995 occasionally. when i got towards the end of 1995 i started to realize that i had a problem. i really knew nothing about it or how much i used as well. one night a friend and i snorted a lot all night. I found myself feeling like my heart was going to explode and i told myself i would never do it again. i didnt do coke for another 7 yrs. then in 2002, i started hanging around people that sold and used it again. so again it was inevitable that i would get back into it.

I only used it occasionally as my drug of course was still marijuana. in aug 2003 i got back into using it again and in a higher frequency. i was snorting 3.5 grams a night. that eventually got old as the high was no longer the same. so i then injected coke for the first time. actually it was crack and my friend that shot me up kinda missed so i didnt get a rush. i was afraid but he assured me i would be ok. he was a heroin addict and kinda knew that he was doing. i tried injecting it a few more times and he eventually learned how to hit my veins. i got the rush and i loved it. i immediantly got hooked and began doing more and more. by jan 2004 i was using up to 5 or more grams a night up to 3 nights a week. i would buy 7 grams and share it with my friend and do most of it. or i would just get 3.5 grams and do it all myself in one night. my friend and i eventually got into a fight about it. he thought i wasnt sharing enough and i thought that he owed me a lot from me buying it all the time. i got tired of his greediness and his attitude. we both because like those lab rats that choose coke over food and water and would do anything to get more. when u shoot coke its totally different. its more dangerous and more taxing on your body. I became more addicted and it just basically destroyed everything about me. after my friend and i got into a major fight i decided to stop using. i havent used for almost 7 weeks. i decided that it wasnt worth losing everything in my life. i still have to deal with the track marks all over my hands and the constant cravings. but it does seem to be getting better. i dont get the cravings as much and the terrible dreams of using arent as frequent. the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that i no longer want to tempt death. I really started to wonder will this be my last shot? will i die with this one? not for me anymore.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 31222
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Feb 26, 2004Views: 20,924
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Cocaine (13) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)

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