DOSE:

smoked

Methamphetamine

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

I was your typical dope smoker from the late 70's. That's usually how it all starts... Everyone in my family drank to excess and I hated every aspect surrounding consumption of alcohol. Loud talking, bad breath, repeating the same thing over and over, etc... I found my escape elsewhere.

As I advanced into my late teens I tried coke for the first time with my first and only true love. I always assumed coke was a 'nite time' drug (don't know why) but we snorted up in the middle of the day during a typical florida afternoon of sunshine and went snorkeling in the Banana River near Cocoa Beach. We swam to a deserted island and just explored and talked and everything seemed so intense, including myself. Everything seemed new and so important and interesting. I continued with my dope smoking, bong hits every hour of the day, the occassional gram of coke for Friday night and incredible mind blowing passionate sex with my lover. Then forgot about it until next time.

Then, the drinking started. What a nightmare! I was the most obnoxious drunk. I became what I detested in others that drank to excess and made complete fools of themselves. Years passed and I continued with my daily dope smoking and weekend coke and drinking binges, mixed in with valium and xanax. And lets not forget the whip its. 20 cans of opened redi whip that where thrown in the trash full of whip cream and minus whatever the hell I huffed out of the can before the cream hit my lips. I did acid a few times and shied from it because I didn't care for the length of the trip. I just liked the laughing and colors that became so intense it seemed a dream.

In my late 20's, I lived across the street from a girl I was fond of (just friends) and whom I had watched smoke meth from foil or from a glass pipe she called a dick. I had snorted a bump or two of speed in the past and hated the burning sensation and thought it inferior to cocaine. I had watched her and her friends chase the dragon numerous times after I night of drinking and ending up at her house after the bars closed. I would shake my head at them and call them junkies for smoking foils, while I snorted line after line off her kitchen table. I never had any desire to even try it. I felt it beneath me.

When I graduated from nursing school, the night before my cap and gown ceremony, I got really drunk and had a terrible hangover. She'd told me I could drive her corvette to my graduation, so I went over to get the keys and she said I looked like hell. I felt like hell and without even thinking about it, asked if she thought a hit off the foil would liven me up. She hesitated, but then smirked and said of course it will wake you up. So, I said, 'hit me'. I had no clue how to light the foil and had to pay close attention to her commands on when to suck the smoke, etc... When I got that first big hit and blew out this tremendous plume of smoke, I loved it. I was immediately wide awake. I no longer felt nauseous or shaky. I felt so alive. I wasn't afraid at all. Just grateful for her sparking me up. I had no snotty nose or nasty drip from snorting coke. Just a good feeling. I wanted to talk of course and do twenty things at once. And smoke one cigarette after the other. After graduation, I went back to her house to drop off the vette and of course, ask for another foil.

I've smoked speed here and there for about 2 years now. For the first year, I never actually purchased my own and I never bothered to even learn how to melt or light my own hit. Someone was always willing to fire it up for me. If it was around and the time was right, I would smoke it for 2 or 3 days. Talking non stop, smoking non stop, etc... I was constantly thirsty but never hungry and never tired. I know people who claim to have been up for at least 10 days straight. I doubt this. The longest I went was 3-4 days. Then, for me, it didn't matter how many more foils I smoked, I was done. I would just nod off to la la land and wake up feeling great.

I never felt sick, but into the 2nd year, I learned to light my own foil and began to purchase 16ths or 8 balls here and there on my days off. I also noticed that when I would start to come down, I would become horribly depressed and feel so sorry for myself that I wanted to die. I don't smoke pot much anymore because it makes me paranoid. I'll do a bong hit here and there. But when I'm off, I usually want to smoke foils. I can either hang out with other people or entertain myself. Either way is fine with me. I'll stay on the computer for over 24 hours without a break. When I'm sad, I can smoke a foil and I forget about my pain. But the thing is, eventually, whatever I'm running from, comes back when that little bag is empty.

I got married and my husband didn't approve of me smoking foils and asked me to stop. I did for about 3 months. Then one day a good friend of mine who just happened to also deal meth, stopped by, my husband was at work and I couldn't help it. The next thing I knew, I had talked my husband into smoking just 'one foil' with me. He did. We went from two people who enjoyed cooking out t-bones on the grill, drinking wine or beer, sitting on the balcony, going to the local bar shooting pool, watching movies, etc.., to getting an 8-ball on our days off and never leaving our apartment. Staying on the computer playing text twist, maj jong, etc..., talking incessantly about anything and everything, eventually culminating to mind blowing sessions of lovemaking, where at times I actually couldn't feel my body touching the bed or anything at all. I was floating. I was happy and content but my husband was becoming secretive at times, hiding little stashes for himself, complaining that I put too much on the foil, etc...

My opinion about any drug is that every persons psyche is so different. I've basically been doing one drug or another for 20 years, but never felt I HAD to have it. I could walk away. Nothing exceeds like excess but you have to face reality eventually. A person I know who once was one of my best friends, and was too cute for words, that I used to snort tons of coke with, has become a miserable shell of what she once was when she started smoking 'Ugly' as we call it. Speed is ugly, coke is pretty. Go figure. This woman is basically a mess today.

To this day, I enjoy smoking speed from my foil. Strangely, I enjoy the whole process from folding and flattening up the foil, to melting the speed, then to actually firing it up and chasing the smoking and blowing out my huge plume of smoke. I've been able to control it. Just that horrible coming down is the only problem I can speak of for myself. I go to work every day. I pay my bills. I take care of myself. You can't tell people, oh it's great, but be careful. That's just crap. One can never know which person will smoke or drink one time and never be able to stop and suddenly, it controls every aspect of their life and they will lie, cheat, and steal to get it. Destroy relationships also. I guess I've been lucky. The worst downside besides coming down and feeling blue is helplessly watching people around me who once were so together, spiral into the black hole. Is it worth that? No.

Exp Year: 1984-2004	ExpID: 31354
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 17, 2018	Views: 1,207
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Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Second Hand Report (42), Retrospective / Summary (11)